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Semester*: One
Unit Code*: ETP425
Unit Name*: Teaching and Learning 3 (Assessment and Reporting)
Assignment Title*: Assignment 1
Date Due*: 26 April 2013
Submission Date*: 25 April 2013
Lecturer’s Name*: Dr. Robyn Gregson
Student’s Full Name*: Jo-Anne Lee Bailey
Student No*: s251212
Student’s Email: * [email protected]
Student’s Phone No: 0249508799
I declare that all material in this assessment is my own work except where there is a clear acknowledgement and
reference to the work of others. I have read the University’s Academic and Scientific Misconduct Policy and
understand its implications.*
http://www.cdu.edu.au/governance/documents/3.3academicandscientificmisconduct.pdf
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Preface
I have assessed and provided feedback on the Year 11 Historical Diary because I hope to teach
both secondary HSIE and English in New South Wales. The text on which the sample is based,
Rabbit Proof Fence, has crosscurricular application.
My assignment is comprised of three
sections.
Part A analyses and evaluates the
sample against NAPLAN, ACARA and
the NSW Board of Studies syllabus
for Stage 6 English as a Second
Language. Part A also outlines the
student's strengths and nominates
recommended areas of, and
strategies for, improvement, as
requested in the marking rubric for
the assignment.
Part B reflects on my learning
journey within ETP425 to date, with
a summary of key learnings
accompanying two questions to
further my understanding of issues
relating to assessment in the 21st
century.
Part C contains Appendices which
expand on the ideas presented
within Part A. The Appendices
include detailed teacher's marking
notes and analyses of the work
sample based on NAPLAN, ACARA
and Syllabus marking criterion.
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Part A
1. ASSESSMENT OF WORK SAMPLE
Strengths
Under NAPLAN
Under ACARA National
Under NSW ESL
Syllabus (Year 11)
Curriculum for the
course Senior English as
an Additional Language
or Dialect (Unit 3)
Intended audience is clear Student has selected and
sustained the register and
Student has clearly
tone for an historical diary
portrayed the writer's
entry (ACEEA060)
sentiments
Evidence of emerging
Characterisation is
understanding of cultural
developing.
beliefs and assumptions
(“...that lying man.”)
Spelling is generally
(ACEEA064)
sound. However, the
author uses mostly simple Student uses language
words.
that influences the
audience or that privileges
certain ideas or
perspectives over others
“...that lying man', “I
admire you”, “a good
hunter” and “You took
good care of me and
Daisy”: (ACEEA076)
ESL Year 11 Syllabus
Outcome 3: demonstrate
understanding of cultural
reference in texts - has
clearly identified and used
direct cultural references,
plus a range of culturally
based values and
perspectives in
texts .“...bush
tucker”,”..that lying man”
and “a good hunter”
Areas for improvement
Under NAPLAN
Under ACARA National
Under NSW ESL
Curriculum for the
Syllabus (Year 11)
course Senior English as
an Additional Language
or Dialect (Unit 3)
Vocabulary is relatively
simple. As we can only
make assumptions as to
what the assessment task
actually called for, we
should bear in mind that
perhaps this was the
author's intention; the use
of only simple words to
create a more 'authentic'
voice for Gracie.
Use of literary techniques
(ACEEA069)
ESL Year 11 Syllabus
Outcome 4: develop
language relevant to
study of English –
Sentence structure
revision required on
(ACEEA077)
language used to make
connections and the
Planning, synthesising,
conventions of language
rehearsing, editing and
refining, including spelling, ESL Year 11 Syllabus
punctuation and grammar Outcome 5: demonstrate
understanding of how
(ACEEA081)
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audience and purpose
affect the language and
structure of texts – more
work required to improve
structure, composition and
manipulation of texts
ESL Year 11 Syllabus
Outcome 8: use variety
of textual forms – student
could benefit from a focus
on how to structure texts to
shape meaning
ESL Year 11 Syllabus
Outcome 13: student
reflects on own
processes for
responding and
composing – focus on
style editing could be
beneficial
While the sample follows a
narrative structure, the
paragraphing is simplistic
and it would benefit from
the use of more cohesive
devices.
Sentence structure and
punctuation need work.
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2. REMEDIATION PLAN (based on the ACARA National Curriculum Senior
English as an Additional Language or Dialect course (Unit 3)
Relevant learning
outcomes which
require remediation*
Indicators (from table
above)
Suggested Strategies
1. Use communication skills to
evaluate how texts present
ideas and opinions
2. Understand the
relationships between
information, ideas, language
and values in texts
3. Investigate and compare
personal, social and cultural
attitudes and perspectives in a
range of texts from different
contexts
Use of literary techniques,
e.g. figurative language,
require development
(ACEEA069)
Incorporate some lessons on
how figurative language can
be used to create meaning,
convey attitudes and create
mood, especially in texts like
historical diary writing. The
class could construct a class
display on which they pin
self-penned examples of
different devices, e.g. similes,
metaphors, alliteration etc.
Focus required on how
different sentence
structures and forms can
be suited to various
purposes, audiences and
subjects (ACEEA077)
This student requires help
with past/present tense,
cohesion and paragraphing.
Some personal
autobiographical work might
help to the learners to
practice these concepts, e.g.
they each have to write their
own life story, but also
include what they will do, as
well as what they have done.
Revision required on
strategies for planning,
synthesising, rehearsing,
editing and refining,
including spelling,
punctuation and grammar
(ACEEA081)
Some simple in-class
worksheets (students could
perhaps work in groups)
featuring punctuation and
capitalisation drills for
revision.
4. Plan, create and
refine extended oral,
written and multimodal texts
appropriate to different
contexts, purposes
and audiences
* Presumably, this task would form only part of a unit of work. Therefore, it's possible that not all the unit's
learning outcomes could reasonably be assessed through just this one task. This is, at its heart, an
interpretation and writing task, so I've identified the fourth of the four outcomes as being the most relevant.
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3. DISCUSSION
I believe the student has made a reasonable effort to produce a narrative. It
appears that the student has understood the requirements of the task (i.e. to
produce an historical diary entry) and has positioned the narrative
appropriately. The piece of writing accurately portrays the girls' separation
and expresses Gracie's feelings towards the event and towards her friend,
Molly. The assessment against the NAPLAN Narrative Marking Guide, the
APARA Curriculum for English as an Additional Language and the NSW
English as a Second Language Syllabus revealed some common strengths
and areas for improvement. While his/her spelling is generally sound, this
student could benefit from revision of punctuation and paragraphing. In
addition, I'd recommend some work for the class on the use of figurative
language, past/present/future tense and cohesive devices to help refine their
writing.
It's worth reiterating that I don't really know the context in which this
assessment task was set. However, my research has indicated that it's likely
the task was drawn from an Australian ESL syllabus or curriculum. This
means that the student who produced the work is probably not a native
English speaker. Factors which can affect some ESL learners' acquisition of
Standard Australian English (SAE) may include little or disrupted schooling,
the attendance of multiple schools and their experience of traumatic life
events. The acquisition of a second language can take many years and is
often described in terms of Cummins’ construct of two types of proficiency.
The first, ‘Basic Interpersonal Communicative Skills’ (BICS), is the language
proficiency used for social everyday communication and is often highly
contextualised, used for real life events, sharing personal information and for
achieving routine social functions (Education Queensland, 2013). While
most second language learners who are immersed in an SAE-speaking
context will be proficient in BICS after approximately two years of learning
and exposure to the target language, students who are not, or have no
bilingual or ESL support, may take relatively longer to acquire proficiency.
Significantly for us as teachers, BICS proficiency does not necessarily
translate into the proficiency in the academic and more abstract language of
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school learning.
Cummins' second construct, Cognitive Academic Language Proficiency
(CALP), is required for academic tasks which require a greater degree of
cognitive engagement and are accompanied by less contextual support.
These tasks require distinct technical vocabularies and are more
grammatically complex. The acquisition of academic English can take up to
seven years, or more for those with interrupted or no schooling in their first
language (Collier, 1995).
The remediation strategies for this student have been developed with this
(assumed) learning profile in mind. Assuming the student does come from a
non-English speaking background and is in the process of learning, and
refining, their SAE skills, the student will require extra scaffolding and
support to assist them to get meaning from classroom learning while their
SAE is still developing.
I would recommend future lessons incorporate some learning about how
figurative language is used in SAE to create meaning, convey attitudes and
create mood. For kinaesthetic appeal, the class could construct a class
display on which they pin self-penned examples of different devices, e.g.
similes, metaphors, alliteration etc.
I'd also suggest some revision of past/present tense, cohesion and
paragraphing and a spiral approach to curriculum (Bruner, 1960) could prove
useful in this classroom. This methodology sees basic knowledge and
concepts revisited repeatedly as new material is introduced. This will allow
the student's learning to develop in a spiral fashion as earlier knowledge and
concepts are recircled and enriched. Similarly, Education Queensland's
'Break it down, build it up' approach, which provides a framework for working
with ESL learners in a whole-class context may also have merit in this case.
Some personal autobiographical work might help to the learners to practice
the concepts of tenses, e.g. they each have to write their own life story, but
also include what they will do, as well as what they have done. Some simple
in-class worksheets (students could perhaps work in groups) featuring
punctuation and capitalisation drills for revision.
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Part B
a. Key themes
The process of assessment is three-fold. Firstly, it involves the collection of evidence
relating to an attribute to be tested. In this case, we are testing the student's ability to
write a narrative based around the film, Rabbit Proof Fence. The evidence is the
historical diary entry which has been drafted by the student. Secondly, it calls for the
evaluation of the evidence. We may draw on a number of sources on which to base
our analysis of the evidence. In this example, I drew from NAPLAN, ACARA and the
NSW English (ESL) syllabus. Thirdly, whichever judgement we make about the
student's work will be shaped by our intentions and purposes – i.e. what we need to
teach according to the syllabus. In other words, assessment does not, and cannot,
take place in isolation of other teaching functions. It plays a central role in the
learning process, where we want to determine how the student is performing and
use this knowledge to plan other experiences to build on their ability and results. To
allow performance to be improved, the results of assessments are reported to the
students themselves, their parents and to other teachers. The results are also used
to inform external stakeholders.
The type of assessment will vary according to its purpose (Brady & Kennedy, 2009,
p. 16). Assessment can be formative or summative, and it may call for a written
response (multiple choice, writing task, short-answer), an oral response
(presentation, debate, role-play, demonstration) or it may test understanding by
asking the students to draw from multi-modal sources (digital media). While each
approach has its advantages and disadvantages, I'm a strong advocate of Hattie's
assertion that “the simplest prescription for improving education must be “dollops of
feedbackO.providing information about what a student does and does not
understand, and what direction the student must take to improve.” (Hattie 1999). I
have, even in this hypothetical example, taken a great deal of care to provide
constructive feedback (see Appendices) which would hopefully support the student
on the continuation of their learning journey.
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b. Questions to ask mentor teacher (HSIE)
1.
From your experience, how do students in Years 7 and 9 currently prepare
for, and feel about, the NAPLAN examination? NAPLAN commenced in 2008,
so, for the Year 7 students, I guess they've never known any different. When I
went to school, our first formal examination was the Year 10 School
Certificate, so the thought of being formally tested every two years is, for an
anxious student like me, quite daunting.
Relevant teaching/learning areas: pedagogy, child development, assessment,
literacies).
2.
How many opportunities do today's teachers get to work one-on-one with
students who are struggling in a particular area? For example, in the Historical
Diary case detailed above, the student could probably benefit from some oneon-one time with the teacher to practice important skills which brought their
mark down, e.g. their punctuation and paragraphing, and the cohesive
devices. Would that be an idealistic expectation in your classroom, or would
remediation be restricted to group/class activities?
Relevant teaching/learning areas: assessment, teaching strategies, classroom
management, ESL).
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References
ACARA (2013) Senior English as an Additional language or Dialect Curriculum.
Retrieved in April 2013 from
http://www.australiancurriculum.edu.au/SeniorSecondary/English/English-asan-Additional-Language-or-Dialect/Curriculum/SeniorSecondary
Brady, L. and Kennedy, K.J. (2005) Celebrating student achievement: assessment
and reporting. Frenchs Forest: Pearson Education Australia
Bruner, Jerome (1960) The Process of Education, Cambridge, Massachusetts,
Harvard University Press
Collier,V.P. 1995. Acquiring a Second Language for School: Directions in
Language and Education. National Clearing House for Bilingual Education,
1(4).
Cummins, J. (1984) Bilingualism in special education: issues in assessment and
pedagogy. Clevedom, Multilingual Matters.
Education Queensland (2013). ESL in the Classroom. Retrieved in April 2013 from
https://www.learningplace.com.au/deliver/content.asp?pid=48625
Hattie, J. (1999).Influences on Student Learning: inaugural Lecture: Professor of
Education, University of Auckland. Retrieved in April 2013 from
www.education.auckland.ac.nz/uoa/fms/default/education/staff/ Prof.%20John
%20Hattie/Documents/Presentations/influences/Influences_on_student_learning.pdf)
NAPLAN (2010) Narrative Marking Guide. Retrieved in April 2013 from
http://www.nap.edu.au/verve/_resources/2010_Marking_Guide.pdf#search=n
arrative marking
NSW Board of Studies (2009) HSC English: English as a Second Language
Syllabus. Retrieved in April 2013 from
http://www.boardofstudies.nsw.edu.au/syllabus_hsc/english-esl.html
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Appendices
1. Evaluation of work sample against ACARA Narrative Marking Guide, 2010
Criterion
Score
Annotations
1. Audience
4 out of 6
Supports reader understanding and attempts to engage the
reader. “I admire you Molly” and “..you took good care of me
and Daisy.” Language choices control the reader/writer
relationship “I remember you me and Daisy used to go
hunting...”, reveal the writer's values and attitudes “I'm very
sorry” and “I should've not listened to that lying man”.
2. Text structure
3 out of 4
Contains an orientation “I haven't heard from or contact
you.”, a complication “I remember when we ran away from
Moore River” and a resolution “I'm very sorry”, “I should've
not listened to that lying man” and “But my life is ok”.
3. Ideas
3 out of 5
Ideas show some development or elaboration and relate
coherently to a central storyline. Some ideas contain
unnecessary elaboration (repetition of Gracie's belief that
Molly was a good hunter)
4. Character/setting
3 out of 4
Characterisation is emerging through description and the
attribution of thoughts and feelings to a character. We learn
that Gracie has a lot of respect for Molly because her friend
was clever and took care of her and Daisy.
5. Vocabulary
2 out of 5
Uses mostly simple verbs, adverbs, adjectives and nouns.
Good use of attitudinal word “that lying man”.
6. Cohesion
2 out of 4
Some correct links between sentences, but reader has to
occasionally re-read or deduce their own links to clarify
meaning. Uses small selection of simple connectives and
conjunctions “but”, “now”.
7. Paragraphing
1 out of 2
Writing is organised into paragraphs that are mainly
focussed on a single idea or set of ideas. Writer has used
three paragraphs to mark formulaic narrative structure
(start, middle, end).
8. Sentence structure
2 out of 6
Most simple sentences are correct. The meaning is
predominantly clear.
9. Punctuation
3 out of 5
Some correct punctuation across categories.
10. Spelling
4 out of 6
Correct spelling of simple words and most common words.
Mark
27 out of 47 (57%)
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2. Evaluation of work sample against NSW Board of Studies Stage 6 Syllabus
English (ESL)
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3. Analysis of work sample against indicators cited in the ACARA National
Curriculum for the course Senior English as an Additional Language or Dialect
Most applicable unit of work (assumption, as we don't
know the task/context in which it was set)
Unit 3
•
•
•
ACARA Learning Objectives
By the end of this unit, students will:
•use communication skills to evaluate how
Analyses how language choices are used to achieve
texts present ideas and opinions
different purposes and effects in a range of contexts.
•understand the relationships between
Develops SAE language skills so they can be used to
information, ideas, language and values in
describe, inform, express a point of view and
texts
persuade for different purposes and audiences.
•investigate and compare personal, social
Explores how language choices shape meaning and
and cultural attitudes and perspectives in a
influence audiences by creating a range of oral,
range of texts from different contexts
written and multimodal texts.
•plan, create and refine extended oral,
Analyses and evaluates how the representation of
written and multimodal texts appropriate to
ideas, attitudes and values and how these vary
different contexts, purposes and audiences
across cultures and within different contexts
(especially the Australian context).
Relevant content
•
Evidence
•
Selects and sustains register and tone to suit
different purposes, contexts and audiences
(ACEEA060)
Student has used appropriate register and
tone for historical diary entry
•
Explains cultural beliefs and assumptions reflected in
texts (ACEEA064)
Emerging understanding of cultural beliefs
and assumptions ('That lying man'.)
•
Uses language that influences the audience or that
privileges certain ideas or perspectives over others
(ACEEA076)
'That lying man'
“I admire you”
“A good hunter”
“You took good care of me and Daisy”
GRADE ALLOCATED UNDER ACARA: D
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4.
Teacher's feedback to student
[Name of student], you have demonstrated that you have thought about who
your audience is, and how Gracie would feel as she's writing her piece. You
do a good job of relating what happened when the girls were taken away and
at getting across the idea that Gracie feels sorry about leaving Molly and
Daisy. The reader also gets a real sense of the admiration and affection
Gracie has towards Molly, so the work you have done to build on her
characterisation is working well. While your spelling is quite sound and your
ideas are clearly expressed, your work could be improved through the better
use of punctuation and paragraphs. I also have some ideas for you on how
you can use some devices (called connections and conjunctions) to improve
the 'flow' of your ideas. You've already used some examples (but and now),
but other examples which would work well in a diary entry are words like
then and so. This is something we will look at in class through some more
writing exercises in the next few weeks. We will also be doing some work, as
a class, to see how we can create mood in texts which are written from a
personal point of view (like diary entries). Overall, you've made a good effort.
Well done.
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5.
Teacher's marking notes
Geraldton, 25/5/80
Dear Molly,
Hello,i I haven’t heard from,ii or contactediii youiv.
How are things going back at Jigalong?v
vi
I remember you, Daisy and I viiused to go hunting with all the family,viii and Iix remember that we had
to hide from the policeman. I admiredx you,xi Molly, xii because you were a good hunter and you took
good care of Daisy and I.xiii I still remember the day that our family was crying for us when we were
taken away.
I still remember xiv things about Moore Rxviver. We had to speak English all time. The food was very
disgusting.xvi Wxviie had do our jobs every morning before breakfast,xviii and we had use a bucket forxix
toilet. I remember when we ran away from Moore River the tracker, Mr. Dxxevil and the police couldn’t
catch us -xxi you were smarter than the tracker. I still remember that you were a good hunterxxii and
were
xxiii
very good at catching bush tucker;xxiv like when you caught that goanna off the tree. YxxvYou
were
xxvi
very clever xxvii.
How is Daisy? How old is she now? Is she okay? xxviii Txxixell her that I really miss her. I’m very sorry
that I left you and Daisy alone at Meekatharra when the police recaptured me.xxx I should not havexxxi
listened to that lying man.
I feel kind of bored without you and Daisy and all the other family back xxxiiat Jigalong, andxxxiii I feel
very sad about it. But my life is okay.xxxiv I havexxxv six children. Myxxxvi husband's name is Harry
Cross.xxxvii He is a young station-hand man. I work as a domestic help on
xxxviii
various farms in the
wheat belt and I am now I working in Shark Bay District, which isxxxixwhere I first met Harry.
xl
What about you and Daisy? Have eitherxli of you got any children yet? What sort of work are you two
doing? I miss you two so much. I wish I was back there at Jigalong.xlii
From
Gracie Field
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i
ii
iii
iv
A comma after 'Hello' is required for this greeting to make sense.
Suggest including a comma to make this sentence 'flow' a little better.
'Contact' should be 'Contacted' instead.
It would be good if you could add some 'time' context here, to really 'set the scene'. For example, how long has it been
since 'Gracie' heard from Molly? A time-frame of 50 years might be appropriate since the story/film is set in 1931. This
would place Gracie's letter as being written two years before she died.
v This is a new idea/topic, so you should start a new paragraph here.
vi Again, you are introducing a new topic, so it's best to use this sentence as the start of a new paragraph.
vii Standard Australia English (SAE) requires “you … and I”
viii A comma is required here.
ix This sentence would work better with the insertion of a second 'I'.
x Because you are writing about something that happened in the past, you should add a 'd' to 'admire'.
xi A comma here would make your text sound more conversational and more in-keeping with common speech patterns. This
is something you could expect to see in diary writing.
xii As per (xi) above..
xiii Correct SAE requires “... and I”
xiv The word 'the' probably isn't necessary here.
xv Moore River is the name of a place, so the first 'r' in River needs to be capitalised. You've written it correctly later in
your diary entry – well done.
xvi It would be good to use a full stop here to break this sentence up.
xviiNew sentence.
xviii A comma would work well here to separate the two ideas in this sentence.
xix Thinking about the context in which 'Gracie' is writing, the use of the word 'for' is probably okay, but it would be more
correct to use 'as our' instead.
xx Correct grammar would require a full-stop after the title 'Mr' and a capital D for 'Devil'.
xxi It would be good to add a hyphen in here to add extra emphasis on the idea that you remember Molly being smart.
xxiiRepetition – “Gracie” has already mentioned that she thought Molly was a good hunter.
xxiiiThe addition of the word 'were' would help this sentence to 'flow' better.
xxivYou could add a colon (:) here to provide further explanation of your bush tucker idea
xxv I think giving this section its own sentence would be give this idea more impact.
xxviRemembering that this is talking about things which happened a long time ago, it would be better to use the past tense –
'You were' rather than the present tense – 'You're'.
xxviiThis may not be necessary.
xxviiiCorrect spelling – 'okay' rather than the abbreviated 'ok'.
xxixNew sentence
xxxThis sentence is a bit long. Break it up with a full-stop.
xxxiWhile I understand the meaning you are trying to convey, you've confused your contraction – the word you're trying to
shorten using an apostrophe. Instead of saying “I should've (should have) not”, correct SAE uses 'I shouldn’t (should not)
have...”
xxxiiInserting the word 'back' here would help any reader who wasn't familiar with her story to recognise that Gracie is no
longer at Jigalong, but her friends (including +Molly) are.
xxxiiiSome punctuation (a comma) would break this long sentence up and make it easier to read.
xxxivAs before, you should use the correct spelling, 'okay'.
xxxvCorrect grammar is 'have', rather than 'got'.
xxxviThis sentence is quite long. It would be good to use a full-stop here to separate your ideas.
xxxviiSome improvements to punctuation and grammar (apostrophe, swapping of words) would help this sentence to read
better.
xxxviiiYou're talking about 'Gracie' doing work on more than one farm (she says 'various farms'), so you should remove the
'a' from here because it implies she's only working on one.
xxxixBe careful about your use of tense. I have made some corrections which would better explain what Gracie is doing now.
xl With this section, 'Gracie' is going back to asking about someone else, rather than talking about herself. Because it's a
new idea, it would read best as a new paragraph.
xli When you use the word 'any', it implies that you're talking about several, or a lot, of people. However, if you replaced it
with the word 'either' it better implies that you're asking after only two – Molly and Daisy.
xlii The ideas here are all very different, so they should be written as separate sentences. In addition, keeping each those last
two sentences short is a good way of adding impact – the tone helps the reader to get a powerful impression of how
'Gracie' is feeling; she is feeling lost, alone and she misses her friends and life.