1. religion and spirituality
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FEBRUARY 2015
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contents FEBRUARY 2015
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columns
9 The Way I See It
The Difference Is Jesus
10 Let’s Talk It Over
What Gets In the
Way of Empathy?
14 The Doctor Is In
A Visit with Periodontist
Dr. Reid Lester
18 Let’s Get Real
Restoring the Heart
of Love in Marriage
20 This Is My Story
A Cinderella Proposal
22 Living My Call
As for Me and My House
features
24
34 Food for Thought
All Things Red and Yummy
Beth O’Reilly
36 Chewed Petunias
A New Heart
Digging for the Roots
38 Christian Commerce
Sitters, LLC Is a
Homegrown Business
20
40 Money Matters
Before You Invest—Four Simple
Questions to Ask Yourself
43 Legal Advice
18
Role Reversal—When the Child
Becomes the Parent
38
44 What’s Going On
Dr. Ben Carson to
Speak in Tupelo
in every issue
6
44
45
46
46
34
Editor’s Letter
Rave Reviews
Events Calendar
Quips & Quotes
Advertiser Index
What’s Coming Next Month?
Christian Leaders of the Future Spotlights Outstanding
High School Seniors Who Are Walking in Faith
➺
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®
Volume 9, Number 8
Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc.,
Member, M.I.P.A.
Editor: Marilyn Tinnin
[email protected]
Associate Editor: Suzanne Durfey
Art Direction/Graphic Design
Sandra K. Goff
Sales
Marilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens,
Suzanne Durfey, Tara Dowden,
Jenny Ruth Kennedy, Kimberly Hooker,
Lauren Black
Contributing Writers
Lydia Bolen, William B. Howell,
Scott T. Marshall, Will McNeese,
Rev. Bill Rap, Susan E. Richardson,
Caroline Smith, Martin E. Willoughby, Jr.
Cover Photography
Stegall Imagery
Distribution Assistants
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4 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
➺editor’s letter
Love—It’s Worth the Price
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither
the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything
else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ
Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
Heart-shaped boxes of candy line the shelves of supermarkets and drug stores.
There is a line at the Hallmark counter. Themes of love are everywhere. Unless
you live under a rock, you have noticed Valentine’s Day is near. According to the
you
❝ All
need is
love.
❞
– THE BEATLES
National Retail Federation, Americans will spend approximately 17.6 billion dollars to say, “I love
you” this year. A staggering figure in the same country where 40 to 50 percent of us fail at
marriage at least once, and there is so much disharmony between the sexes, the races, and the
political parties!
I don’t know of anything in our upside down world that has been more advertised, and at the
same time more distorted, in recent years than the word love. Not long ago in a study on the
book of Revelation, a respected Bible teacher taught that for everything God designs, Satan
designs a counterfeit. I am reminded of the street vendors in New York City who sell knockoffs of
just about every designer label a consumer desires. Those fakes can look pretty good at first, but
it is not long before the shoddy workmanship or the lesser materials disappoint.
Like the authentic purse or piece of jewelry, love that lasts does require a greater investment
of capital. It would be a good idea to study the real thing before spending frivolously on the
imitation. Who would know that the real thing is so worth it if our chief source of information on
the subject comes from the glossy covers of the star-studded magazines in the checkout lane at
the Kroger?
It occurs to me that the Agape brand of love described in the familiar love passage of 1
Corinthians 13 is one of the most expensive exercises there could possibly be when it comes to
human relations. It is not a feeling as much as it is an action. Not seeking our own comfort or
rights, not demanding our way, always loving the other regardless of reciprocity—what could be
more foreign in today’s world or more counter to our selfish natures? Christ’s sacrificial death is
the only perfect example. We speak so often of the “free” gift of eternal life that we fail to fully
consider there was nothing “free” about it from God’s perspective.
There is a great paradox in authentic love. Even in our imperfect attempts, the sacrifice
required—whether it is a sleepless night walking the floor with a crying infant, sitting by the sick
bed of a dying friend, or waking up day after day to go to a job we despise in order to take care
of those who depend on us—is always worth it in the long run. The more we allow God’s love to
invade our “me-oriented” hearts, the more of His kind of love we have to give to everyone
around us. And as is more often than not the case in God’s economy, the blessings have a way of
coming back to us.
Get ready to examine your own perceptions of love in this issue. Beth O’Reilly’s miracle heart
transplant inspired me on so many levels. The steady prayers and perseverance of her friends
and family through her critical illness, the loving and anonymous gift of a heart from a griefstricken family, and God’s supernatural presence tell a profound love story you won’t soon forget.
On the eve of her daughter’s wedding, Cindy Townsend shares a mother’s heart in “This is My
Story.” And in “Living My Call,” Reverend and Mrs. Clifton Goodloe give us their best advice on
marriage and parenting from the vantage point of 50 successful years, six children, and
15 grandchildren!
Lydia’s “Food for Thought” appeals to the “sweet tooth” in all of us this month. Martin
Willoughby’s “As I See It” reminds us of the only true motivation for the Christian life—love
for Christ.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy. As Beth O’Reilly says, “Love is the only thing it is okay to do
in excess.” Y
6 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor
[email protected]
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➺
the way i see it
by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.
The Difference Is Jesus
In the midst of the routines in life,
and even in the church, it is easy
to lose sight of the center of our
faith—Jesus.
Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola in their
book Jesus Manifesto describe this as a
“Jesus Deficit Disorder.” Without Christ, all
things lose their meaning. Christianity can
quickly become just another religion among
many. It can be a series of “do’s” and
“don’ts.” We might follow the rules with our
head, but without love in our hearts.
Sweet and Viola encourage us to “Seek
Christ, embrace Christ, know Christ.” They
remind us that “Christianity is Christ. Nothing
more. Nothing less. It is not an ideology or a
philosophy. Neither is it a new type of
morality, social ethic, or worldview.
Christianity is the ‘Good News’ that beauty,
truth, and goodness are found in a person.”
When I see people who have that vital,
connected, loving relationship with Christ,
there is just something different about them.
They are on a different agenda than the
mainstream. They are not simply sprinkling
in some “Christianity” into a busy life
pursuing worldly goals. Christ is at the
center of their lives. Not just as Lord, but also
as the loving Father. They connect with Him
in prayer not out of obligation but out of joy
and love.
My good friend Shawn Dean, who is a
regular contributor to this magazine, is an
encourager to me by his passion for Christ.
Just like all of us, Shawn is imperfect and
experiences challenges in life, but he has a
love of Jesus that is infectious.
Several years ago, he felt a stirring in his
heart that he was to help others experience
the true vibrancy and love of Christ. He
wanted to help others have a more intimate
experience with Jesus to know and love Him
They are not simply
sprinkling in some
“Christianity” into a
busy life pursuing
worldly goals. Christ
is at the center of
their lives.
more. Shawn had been leading a prayer
group for years, but he felt like the men
needed more time away from the hustle and
bustle to be still and hear the voice of God.
Using his own resources, Shawn organized
the first Camp Jesus. He rented facilities at a
retreat center for a weekend and invited any
man who was hungry for Christ to show up.
With a loose agenda, the men sang together,
prayed together, and heard the Word of God
shared by gifted speakers. Men were real
with each other, candidly shared about their
challenges, and all were united in seeking
more of Christ. Camp Jesus has turned into
an annual event each fall, and last year he
started a Camp Jesus for Women. It was a
tremendous success and will be repeated
again this year in April.
I share this story because what is
noteworthy to me is that Shawn is not a
pastor, missionary, or in full-time ministry.
Shawn works as a manufacturing
representative and is a father to three young
children. He has no more time than the rest
of us in his day. However, he is motivated by
his own love of Jesus and the desire for
others to experience that love as well.
February is certainly a time of the year
when we are encouraged by the
marketplace to do something special to
demonstrate our love. While that is certainly
a good thing to do any time of the year,
perhaps this year we can also reflect on the
true source and object of our love, Jesus
Christ our Lord and Savior. For those
interested in learning more about Camp
Jesus, you can contact Shawn Dean at
[email protected]. Y
Martin E. Willoughby Jr. is a Principal with
Butler Snow Advisory and the author of
Intentional Faith. He and his wife, Nicki,
have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in
Memphis, Tennessee.
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➺let’s talk it over
by WILL MCNEESE, LPC, LMFTA
What Gets In the Way of Empathy?
In my last article, I wrote about the
importance of parents engaging in
empathy in order to build a meaningful
relationship with their teens based on
intimacy, trust, and being known. Relational
intimacy takes place when two people make
themselves vulnerably known to each other
and they each are received with love
and grace.
A deciding factor in how vulnerable we will
be with someone is how safe that person is.
Will the person judge me harshly or criticize
me? Will they misunderstand me? Will they use
what I say against me? Are they on my side?
Some facts about empathy:
■ Empathy is accurately understanding and
reflecting what a person expresses without
adding to, changing, or communicating
judgment about it. It is one of the first
steps in building a trusting and
intimate relationship.
■ To express empathy does not mean that
you are agreeing with or necessarily
approving of what the person
says/thinks/or does. It simply shows that
you understand what they said and find
it relatable.
■ Empathy is a foundational point for
building intimate relationships because it
communicates that one cares enough to
withhold judgments in order to accurately
listen to someone. It communicates at a
basic level that one trusts that the person is
an understandable and reasonable being,
whom one can relate to.
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10 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Empathy also plays a key role in the deescalation of conflict. Arguments between
spouses or between parents and children often
look like tennis matches—each party going
back and forth trying to deliver the winning
point or comeback. This results in gridlocked
arguments that rarely resolve and leave both
parties exasperated. I never cease to be
amazed by the shift that can take place when
one gridlocked player is able to “put down
the tennis racket” and engage in
empathic listening.
One caveat is this—Empathy alone may not
be enough to fix conflicts, and there are
situations that call for being directive and
executive in functioning. Examples of this
would be crisis situations such as a person
threatening suicide, or when those in conflict
become out of control.
Empathy, however, is a much needed—and
often underutilized—tool in the tool belt.
That being said, at times I find it incredibly
difficult to engage in empathy with people
whom I am close to. I cannot tell you how often
my wife and I have an argument and I am
completely unable to listen to her side of
things without being consumed with
defensiveness and indignation.
It can be even more difficult when I work
with the teens in my life that, at times, are
blatantly hostile towards me. In fact, the more I
care about a person, the more vulnerable I
become to being taken over by defensiveness
or anger during a conflict with this person.
So what gets in the way? I know I should
maintain a stance of empathy, but this is much
easier said than done. In the next few
paragraphs I hope to facilitate you exploring
what it is that bumps you off the empathy
wagon and on to the defensive (or offensive). I
also want to discuss a few common culprits
and what can be done.
The fear of not being heard or respected.
This is the fear that if I respond to the person
with empathy, I will give up the chance to tell
my side of the story. If I don’t stand up for my
rights, then the other person will continue to
violate them and walk over me. In my life, this
reaction can have a powerful effect in shifting
me out of a state of listening into a state of
standing up for myself. Though this fear is
understandable, it adopts a relational strategy
of pushing people away.
To reconcile with your spouse or teen, you
must turn towards them instead of push them
away. Conflicts work best when you take turns
listening. Let one person fully explain their
experience and engage in active listening and
empathy until that person feels fully heard, then
swap roles and talk about your experience.
Since this conversation format requires a
high amount of self-awareness and self-control,
teens may not be great at demonstrating
empathy. However, I think you will be
surprised by how your modeling of empathy
can catch on with your teens.
The fear that by showing empathy or
understanding towards what one is saying,
they will think I am agreeing with them, or
approving of what they have done. This
comes up often when a spouse or teen has
done something that, to you, is blatantly wrong
or sinful. In these moments I hear myself
questioning, “What if the person thinks I am
agreeing with them or condoning their
behavior?” This can also occur when the
person’s feelings don’t seem warranted or are
based on misperceptions.
Here is how I think about this: If your style of
empathy involves giving up your boundaries
or condoning behavior you disagree with, you
aren’t expressing empathy (we have another
name for what you are doing called
“codependence,” but that’s a separate topic).
Empathy means to accurately understand
what one is thinking and perceiving, even
when what one thinks is inaccurate.
Demonstrating that I accurately and fully
understand what a person is saying and
experiencing does not mean I agree with
them. I have been surprised at how often I
think that I understand someone, only to find
out that we were speaking past each other,
hence the importance of asking nonjudgmental
clarifying questions.
Secondly, empathy means trying to find an
understandable (relatable) part of their
experience. Regardless of the outcome of a
person’s actions, if I am honest with myself, I
can usually find something relatable about
what they were experiencing. For example,
even though I can understand and relate to why
my child decided to use illicit drugs, it does not
mean that I am justifying his action. It does
however help me engage in compassion
towards him.
The belief that empathy won’t solve the
problems at hand and will not help deescalate the person. In my experience as a
therapist, empathy is always a good first step,
but more may need to happen. At times,
showing empathy to someone has had the
incredible effect of calming one down and they
have arrived at a solution or answer without
my input.
At other times, simply showing empathy has
not been enough to produce de-escalation and
solve the problems at hand. It has, however,
been the vehicle through which a person has
become more open to receiving my feedback
or input.
So what do we do when these things
get triggered?
Self-awareness is essential. If you notice
yourself feeling defensive and unable to “put it
aside,” then pause the conversation and engage
in some internal reflection. Perhaps try
journaling or writing out what triggered
your defensiveness.
You may find that what triggered your
defensiveness is connected to experiences
from the past. This is normal. Our brain uses our
past experiences to form our expectations of
future events. The problem is that these
expectations, or reactive defenses, may get
triggered very easily and may not take into
account important differences about present
situation. To engage in close, empathic
relationships, we must explore the things that
trigger our strong reactions and learn to
distinguish past fears from present realities.
At times, we need third-party arbitrators. I
believe that we all have some relationships in
which the volatility is too high and the selfawareness/control too low to make much
progress. Inviting in a third party to “referee”
can be beneficial, whether that is a trusted
friend, pastor, counselor, or legal mediator. Y
Will McNeese, LPC, LMFTA, is a
counselor at Summit Counseling with
experience working with families and
individuals, including children and
adolescents. He can be reached at
[email protected].
Capstone is a proud sponsor of
Mississippi Christian Living’s 2015
Christian Leaders of the Future
scholarship program.
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➺the doctor is in
A Visit with Periodontist Dr. Reid Lester
MCL: Tell us about
your training
and education.
Reid Lester, DMD: After a
brief teaching career at
Jackson Academy and a short
span in the financial planning
world, I found my calling to go
into health care. Dating back
to high school, I had always
been interested, but the
timing was never right. In
2003, I decided to go back
and get my requirements for
dental school. I was accepted
to dental school and began in
2005, and went onto
specialize in the field
of Periodontics.
A periodontist is a dentist
who has chosen to go three
more years for specialty
training. We are trained to treat patients with
gum problems, whether it be receding gums
or gum disease. Our specialty also trains us
on the surgical placement of dental implants,
and any type of rehabilitation (bone grafting)
that may be needed to receive implants.
My training consisted of a B.B.A degree
from Mississippi State, my Dental Degree
(DMD) in 2009 from the University of
Mississippi Medical Center, and my Specialty
Degree in 2012 from LSU School of Dentistry.
After graduating from LSU, my family and I
chose to return to Jackson to begin private
practice. My practice, Mississippi Periodontic
Specialists, consists of four periodontists: Dr.
Charles Hamm, Dr. Bob Rives, Dr. Jamie Clay,
and myself.
Q.
MCL: What were the factors that
made you want to choose
this specialty?
RL: While in dental school, the surgical
aspects of dentistry were what interested me
the most. Periodontists are very skilled
surgeons, who are known for paying very
special attention to detail. We have the ability
to take a patient with disease/infection in their
mouth, treat them, and then follow them for
life to make sure their disease does not come
Q.
14 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
diabetes, obesity,
and osteoporosis.
Gum disease normally
doesn’t affect individuals until
the fifth or sixth decade of life,
but there are some aggressive
forms that can begin affecting
people in their teenage years.
Typically, periodontal disease is
noticed at the patient’s primary
dentist office, and then based on
the severity, the patient may be
referred to the specialist for
treatment. Receding gums can
also be problematic and initiate
a referral to our office. Receding
gums can be caused by poor
hygiene, but primarily occur
with over brushing or brushing
with too much force.
back. So the primary difference from my
specialty and other dental specialties is that
we get to develop long-lasting relationships
with our patients.
Periodontists also have the ability to have
very flexible schedules; we have very few
true emergencies, so I have the freedom to
create a work schedule that allows me to stay
invested in my children’s lives, stay involved
in organized dentistry, be active in the
community, and give back to our profession
through teaching at UMMC and LSU.
MCL: What were the factors
that made you want to choose
this specialty?
RL: Periodontal disease is a bacterial
infection that occurs in the gums. It primarily
is caused by plaque that gets beneath the
gum line, and causes gum and bone
destruction. There are a number of factors
that can increase a patient’s chance of getting
gum disease, but the most common are poor
oral hygiene, smoking, and diabetes. There is
a large amount of research going in this
country about the correlation with the oral
cavity and the rest of the body, and there are
findings that support gum disease is
correlated with cardiovascular disease,
Q.
MCL: What are
the Symptoms?
RL: Symptoms of gum problems consist of
redness, bleeding, swelling, or pain in the
gums. Patients also may experience
sensitivity of the teeth due to gum problems,
or mobility of the teeth.
Q.
Q.
MCL: How is it treated?
RL: Patients with more severe gum
problems are treated with surgery. Recent
advances in our field have been in the area of
lasers. We now can use a laser to surgically
correct the damage to the gums and bone
from periodontal disease. A typical surgery
consists of three steps. First, a laser is used to
remove the infected tissue and any irritants
that may be causing the problem. Second,
localized debridement of the infected areas
with some type of ultrasonic cleaning
instrument is done, and third, a laser is used
to help stimulate a seal (or clot) of the gum
tissue back around the tooth.
Other common surgeries in our field
consists of gum grafts and/or bone grafts to
help rebuild areas of the mouth that have
been damaged due to gum disease or
lost teeth.
Q.
MCL: Does dental insurance cover it?
RL: Dental insurance does cover
periodontal treatment, but usually only will
cover at about fifty percent.
MCL: What can someone do to lessen
the chance of having gum disease?
RL: There are 2 important things that
patients can do to minimize the chance:
1. Have good oral hygiene habits—which
consists of brushing at least twice a day, and
flossing at least once a day. These proper
techniques can be learned from your
dental hygienist
2. See your family dentist at least twice a
year, and they will check the health of your
gums at your routine appointments. My
opinion is that patients should see their
dentists more frequent than every six
months because cavities and gum
problems can develop and progress in
between those checkups.
Q.
encouraged me to go to dental school; Dr.
David Duncan, who was Chairman of
Admissions at UMMC and who helped open
the door for me to become a dentist; Dr.
Frank Serio, who was chairman of
Periodontics at UMMC and who served as
my mentor and encouraged me to go into the
field of Periodontics; Dr. Toula Palaiologou,
who served as my program chairman at LSU
and taught me a great deal of clinical
periodontics; Dr. Charles Hamm and Dr. Bob
Rives, who have been great business partners
in private practice; Dr. Jamie Clay, who joined
MCL: How has your Christian faith
impacted your practice and the
way you see patients?
RL: I have been extremely blessed in my
lifetime, both personally and professionally.
I have been blessed with great parents who
have gone above and beyond to provide for Reid, Lauren, Drake, Landry, and Carson Lester.
me and my sister, an amazing wife who has
our practice a year ago; and lastly, my dad,
supported me along the journey of dental
Dr. Tom Lester, who has been my biggest
school and residency and who has basically
cheerleader along the journey through dental
raised 3 children by herself while I was in
school and residency. My dad, who passed
school, three healthy children (ages 10, 8,
away this past June, taught me to work hard
and 4), and great friends and family.
and treat people right, and that everything
I also feel that God has placed people in
else will fall into place.
my life who have helped open doors for me
I say all this, because it is these people
professionally. Some of the people who have
who
make me appreciate the verse Luke
made major contributions to my dental
12:48, “For whomsoever much is given, of
career include: Dr. David Mosal, who was my
him shall be much required.” I feel that this
dad’s best friend growing up and who
Q.
verse is very applicable to my life. I enjoy and
take pride in the ability to help and heal
people every day, and I have the opportunity
to make a great living doing that. I don’t take
this for granted, and through this opportunity,
I feel that it is my responsibility to give back,
whether in dentistry, the community, teaching
in dental schools, or simply in my
children’s lives.
A great deal of my time is spent in clinical
practice each week. As I get to know patients,
and discuss their dental conditions and
treatment alternatives, I feel invested in their
lives and personally responsible for their
treatment and success. As patients decide
on a method of treatment for themselves,
they routinely ask the question, “What
would you do if you were me?” As
elementary as it may sound, I base my
clinical practices off of the Golden Rule.
Matthew 7:12 states, “Whatever you wish
that others would do to you, do also to
them.” If I can treat patients in my practice
the way that I would want to be treated,
then everything else will take care of itself.
The next phase of life for me is the
addition to my family that we are praying
for. My wife and I have begun the process
of adopting a child. My wife, Lauren, who
many call Supermom, has wanted to adopt
a baby as long as I have known her. But I
have always made it very clear that I would
not. I remember several times where she
would tell me that she was praying for me to
have a change of heart, and I would tell her to
“Go for it!” Well, over the past 6 months, God
has changed my heart, and shown me that
Lauren and I should make this leap of faith.
We feel that we are in the right season of life
to begin this journey, and what better way to
reciprocate God’s love than to provide a
home for that new child. We are excited
about what God will bring our way. Y
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Ask your general dentist if you need to see a Periodontist!
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mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 15
THE
EAGLE SCOUT
AWARD:
Jackson Academy
The highest rank attainable in Scouting.
It’s not easy to become an Eagle Scout,
but they did it anyway.
The award is more than a badge.
It’s a state of being.
You ARE an Eagle Scout.
Y
St. Andrew’s Episcopal School
Congratulations
to these young men
and the rest of our area Eagles
on this great achievement.
Wimberly & Associates
Executive Coaches and Financial Advisors that use The Discovery Process™
to help individuals and businesses accomplish their agenda.
[email protected]
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BOY SCOUTS
OF
AMERICA
“Preparing Young People For Life”
For more information on the Andrew Jackson Council visit our website www.bsa-jackson.org or find us on
one of our Facebook pages, Andrew Jackson Council, BSA or Hood Scout Reservation, BSA. Scout Office (601) 948-6111
16 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Eugene C. Brown, Jr.
D.D.S., M.S.
Orthodontics Exclusively
The American Dental Association recommends that children see an orthodontist by age 7
5800 Ridgewood Road, Ste. 103 ❘ Jackson, MS 39211 ❘ 601.957.1711
125 Jones Street ❘ Madison, MS 39110 ❘ 601.853.0303
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mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 17
➺let’s get real
by REV. BILL RAP, MRE, PSAT and CAROLINE SMITH, MS, LPC
Restoring the Heart of Love in Marriage
od's Word calls us all to experience
the most beautiful thing in the
world; it simply calls us to, "...love
one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter
1:22 NIV, emphasis added). That word
“deeply” is rich with meaning. Deep love is
always from the heart, deep love is always
passionate, deep love never gives up! Is that
not what every one of us longs for—to be
deeply loved by someone and to share that
love in return?
As humans, all of us can struggle with
serious “heart conditions” at times. And
because our physical health is dependent to a
large part on our emotional health, routine
“heart health” assessments are imperative.
Clients often use the following words to
describe their symptoms—a shattered heart,
cold heart, black heart, bleeding heart, or
bitter heart. When emotional heart health
goes unattended, bad things happen.
An amazing example of this is a story
involving a couple from Texas. All was well
until one day the husband got upset with his
G
18 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
wife for supposedly spending too much on
sugar at the grocery store. So, he proceeded
to take a saw, cut the house in half, and nail
some boards on to cover the exposed part of
each half. He then moved his half of the house
behind some trees on the back section of their
lot. And for the next forty years, this man lived
by himself in his half house refusing to speak
to his wife. At first reading, this story sounds
unbelievable or even humorous, but it is only
one example of how couples emotionally
divorce. Without compassionate
understanding and effective relationship
support, the loss of a loving heart is
progressive and painful.
For many, Valentine’s Day is a reminder of
what once was or what is currently longed for.
The upside to any holiday is that we get to
spend time with people we care about in a
wonderful exchange of heartfelt love. The
downside to any holiday is when relationships
have grown cold, distant, quiet or bitter,
unpredictable, and explosive. Spending time
with people we care about can be a painful
reminder of what’s missing in our
relationships—a heart of love. If you identify
with this downside, please be encouraged.
There is tremendous hope for you and your
marriage because of our loving God and
Savior, the ultimate marriage counselor,
Jesus Christ!
In fact, at the very heart of our ability
to love and receive love is our loving
God. According to God’s Word, His
love is:
1) Everlasting. “I have loved you with an
everlasting love...” (Jeremiah 31:3).
2) Permanent. Nothing “...will be able to
separate us from the love of God, which is
in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).
3) Perfect: God’s kind of love “...never fails”
(1 Corinthians 13:8).
4) Available to us all. "...Let us love one
another, for love is from God” (1 John 4:7).
God is the Author and Giver of His
extravagant, permanent, perfect love. And the
amazing thing is, God's passion is to see His
love flowing in all of our hearts and in all of
our homes.
Think that’s impossible in your situation?
Your thoughts have a direct impact on your
feelings and your feelings influence your
behaviors. Binging on a diet of critical
thoughts toward your spouse is guaranteed to
produce emotional distance, an unloving
heart, and an increased risk for engaging in
love-defeating behaviors. If negative thoughts
become chronic, the result will be a slim
chance for God’s kind of love to flow. What
wounded relationships need most is a
renewal of the mind.
So it is in relationships—what a couple
thinks about while they are apart impacts
them the most when they are together. Thus,
if the little irritations and big hurts inevitable
in any relationship are not bravely and
truthfully discussed, distance and
disconnection result. A heart of love can only
flourish when two people commit to living a
lifestyle of sincere confession, compassionate
forgiveness, and reconciliatory resolution.
Philippians 4:8 provides instruction in this
matter; “Finally, brethren, whatever is true,
whatever is honorable, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever
is of good repute, if there is any excellence
and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on
these things.”
For deep love to flourish in your heart and
home, first turn to the ultimate marriage
counselor, our Lord Jesus Christ and ask for
His help to be more loving, regardless of
what your partner does. Remember, God is
love and all love comes from Him. He is the
One who has called us to love one another,
and He is the One who can help us do it.
Then, “tend your garden.” As a wise
person once said, "The grass is not greener
on the other side of the fence, the grass is
greener where they water it." The fact is
beautiful gardens take a lot of work, so it
shouldn’t surprise us that beautiful marriages
do too!
Your marriage garden needs two
things from you every day:
1) Weeding—Pulling things out of your life
that harm your relationship. Things like
selfishness, busyness, inattention, self-
righteousness, blame,
and unforgiveness.
2) Seeding—Cultivating things in your
heart like humility, honesty, confession,
repentance, forgiveness, understanding,
and tenderness.
Actively notice the good things about your
spouse and verbally express your
appreciation. Research on marriage
satisfaction suggests five positive partner
statements per day. If we see marriage as an
opportunity to excel in love, it won't matter
how difficult the situation is. It will be our
chance to learn to love like Christ.
Whether you are expecting the upside or
the downside this Valentine's Day, if you find
yourself longing for more, be encouraged.
You and your loved one can learn to love
deeply from the heart. You have God's Word
on it! Y
Caroline Smith is the Director
of Pine Grove’s Intensive
Workshops and her brother,
Bill Rap, is a co-facilitator of
Pine Grove’s Christian
Intensive Workshops.
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 19
➺this is my story
by CINDY M. TOWNSEND
A Cinderella Proposal
A Story for God’s Glory!
From a mother’s heart…
keep her away from the grimy guys. Verse 2: God, make
Taylor wise and give her little thighs (very
superficial prayer I know, but moms pray about
everything, especially things they never had).
My mother burned the midnight oil in
prayer for me during my teenage years
and her prayers sustain me through life
even today. I vowed to pray for God to
make Taylor wise.
While serving as Student/College Minister and
loving students of all ages, my husband, Bill, and I
desired to have a child of our own. We began a
heart-wrenching journey that lasted several
years. One miscarriage after another left us
desperate for what only God could do.
Only He could prepare us to never have
a child of our own and only He could
give us a miracle baby. We knew God
was faithful, but that knowledge alone
Pledge
did not diminish our pain. We leaned
We encouraged Taylor to honor
on the Lord and desired more than
her future life mate with a pledge
ever to live a life to honor Him, no
to purity. We all know remaining
matter the circumstances.
sexually pure in a "shades of
Confidentially, we asked many of
grey" world requires a greater
our friends to pray for us to accept
love for God than self and an
our situation and heal. As we
unyielding discipline focused far
began to grow in acceptance, we
beyond
the present. As Taylor
heard the news we were expecting
entered
her teen years, I
again. Concerns and prayers
reminded
her “beyond physical
increased along with God’s grace
beauty
is
a
beauty from within that
toward us. Nine months later, I gave
embraces purity as most
birth to a baby girl we named
beautiful.” Ironically, the movie Fifty
Taylor because she was Taylor-made
Shades of Grey is set to premier on
by God!
Valentine's Day, the day Taylor and
As I reflect today on God’s
Seth celebrate their marriage vows
goodness, we are less than a month
and their mutual commitment to purity.
away from Taylor’s wedding day. She will
Choosing purity demands commitment,
marry Seth Conerly on Valentine’s Day at
conviction, and wisdom.
First Baptist Church in Jackson-- the same
church where she was dedicated to the Lord
22 years ago. We are thankful for God’s
Seth Conerly went to incredible lengths to propose to
Purpose
faithfulness through these years. As her
Taylor Townsend in front of an audience of friends and
Her dad and I have also
mother, I am also reminded of the
family who had loved and prayed for them for years.
challenged
Taylor to live what Pastor
incredible task we have as mothers “to
Watch the proposal on You Tube. Search Princess
Rick
Warren
calls a " purpose-driven
train up a child in the way he or she
Proposal - Taylor and Seth. You won’t be disappointed!
life".
I
love
to
hear Taylor say, “Mom,
should go.”
only
God
completes
me. No job,
As moms, we want our children to be
degree, position, title, or person completes me, only Jesus!” Knowing
equipped for life. Honestly, I have days when I royally mess up in my
all of this life is by God’s grace, for His glory and ultimately for His
motherly role, but like most moms, that is never my desire. I want to
purpose gives life meaning! Both Taylor and Seth have purposed to
teach Taylor and our son, William (who, by the way, just happened
follow wherever the Lord may lead. An adventure enveloped in
without a dramatic birth story) the importance of intentional living.
God’s grace awaits all who purpose to do the same.
Three words come to mind as I reflect on the ways Bill and I
sought to prepare Taylor’s heart for marriage: Prayer, Pledge,
A Mother’s heart-felt prayer:
and Purpose.
Lord Jesus, May our children live with a clear understanding of
the power of prayer, the value of a pledge, and the importance of
living life with purpose. Let it be… for all of our children! Amen. Y
Prayer
Our prayer for Taylor the day she was born and until this day is for
Dr. Cindy Townsend is Director of The Global Leadership
God to make her like the biblical character, Deborah. Deborah was
Institute at Jackson Preparatory School. She enjoys speaking for
strong and courageous in a "crooked and perverse world". The first
student and women events and freelance writing.
prayer lullaby I sang over Taylor’s cradle was both serious and silly
and went something like this: Verse 1- God, make Taylor wise and
20 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 21
➺living my call
by MARILYN H. TINNIN
As for Me and My House
Clifton and Delores Goodloe of
Canton celebrated their fiftieth
wedding anniversary this past
December. The pastor of the Greater
Damascus Church of Christ Holiness in
Hazlehurst, Reverend Goodloe was a
preacher’s kid himself. A minister was one
thing he was sure he was not going to be.
Delores had decided a long time before
marrying Clifton that she would
not marry a preacher or a
farmer. In time, she got both.
But you will never meet
a couple that has
achieved a happier,
more stable marriage
or raised any finer
children. They can tell
you how it’s done. Their
blueprint comes straight
out of Scripture, and
Reverend Goodloe can
quote a whole lot of it.
Clifton grew up in Canton
and left home after high school
graduation in 1959, headed to Los
Angeles for higher paying jobs than those
available in Mississippi. He says he drifted
away from the spiritual values his parents had
instilled in him as a child. When his father
became ill and he came home to visit him for
a few weeks in early 1964, he spent some
time rekindling a friendship with Delores. By
the time he returned to California a few
weeks later, they were engaged.
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22 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Shortly before their wedding a few months
later, Delores asked Clifton if he would
consider coming back to Mississippi to live.
She had some doubts about living so far from
home and family. Clifton relented although he
thought he would probably be able to
change her mind later.
After their wedding they moved in with his
parents in Canton while Clifton looked for
a job. His father’s only stipulation in
allowing the newlyweds to share
their home was that they
attend church every Sunday.
The Lord began to work
on Clifton. All the
Scriptures, the songs, the
teachings from his
childhood came back to
him as he was again
hearing Bible teaching
and was being nurtured
again in the faith.
Soon after the birth of their
first daughter, the Scripture
reading one Sunday morning was
Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my house,
we will serve the Lord.” Clifton says, “God
really spoke to me that morning, and I knew
that unless I let Him lead me, I would never
be able to lead my family.” Despite all the
years he had spent in church before that day,
he considers that Sunday morning in 1966
the day he truly received salvation.
Delores says she saw a marked change in
her husband from that day on. His priority
Clifton and Delores (front and center) are the parents of (back row) Marcus and Bertram, (front
row) Clifton, Melba, Lori, and Earl.
was to lead his family to know Christ and to
love them the way Christ loved his church. As
more children arrived, Clifton continued to
be the same steady devoted and doting
husband and father. Clifton says he and
Delores had a “balanced” approach to the
things they emphasized with their children.
Getting a good education was
important, but knowing Christ
trumped everything. The
relationship with Christ was
to be the foundation of their lives
because it would impact the way
they approached everything else.
Getting a good education was important,
but knowing Christ trumped everything. The
relationship with Christ was to be the
foundation of their lives because it would
impact the way they approached
everything else.
Surrendering his soul was one thing.
Surrendering to the call to preach was
something else. He continued to fight that for
several more years. He was one of the first
African Americans to be hired as a USDA
field reporter and surveyor in 1966. Each
day, from daylight until mid-afternoon, he
traveled Madison County surveying crops
and measuring acreage.
From mid-afternoon until after midnight at
times, he was on a tractor working his
farmland. With six children, he laughs, “I
didn’t have a choice!”
God continued to tug at Clifton’s heart
about the ministry. He finally surrendered
and spent 18 years serving churches in
Lexington, Jackson, Canton, and Hazlehurst.
Wherever he went, the church grew. He
explains that he was never able to go to
seminary because he had a family to
support. He was a voracious reader and took
advantage of workshops as often as possible.
Despite being “self-taught” to a large extent,
he has been a great student of Scripture with
an amazing ability to memorize and an equal
ability to apply it.
In 1994, just a few months after he had
“retired,” the Bishop of the Church of Christ
Holiness, called Reverend Goodloe and
asked him to accept a temporary call to
Greater Damascus in Hazlehurst. The church
had been splintered by divisiveness. Clifton
and Delores accepted the call and began
driving 100 miles round trip every week to
help that church get back on its feet.
This January marked their twenty-first
year there! Five of their six children, along
with their spouses and children, also drive to
Hazlehurst every week to be involved at
Greater Damascus. And the splintered
church that had only 35 members back in
1994 boasts 3–400 today.
At 76 years and going strong—still
farming his land, as well as pastoring the
church—Reverend Goodloe did not hesitate
to quote his favorite Scripture to me, but he
qualified that by saying, “It’s my favorite at
this stage of life.”
“However, I consider my life worth
nothing to me, if only I may finish the race
and complete the task the Lord has given
me—the task of testifying to the gospel of
God’s grace” (Acts 20:24). Y
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 23
Beth O’Reilly
A New Heart
Heart Disease is
the number one
killer of women in
America. It affects
women of all ages,
even those who are
physically fit. And
64% of women
who have had no
previous symptoms
die of heart-related
illness. Learn about
your risk for heart
disease and
what makes it
more likely.
24 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
On the day that her life turned upside down, Beth Weilenman
O’Reilly was in the prime of life. The year was 2004, and she was
just 48 years old. Married for 29 years to her college sweetheart
who was and is still very much the love of her life, she was blessed
with a career she adored, two grown sons who made a mama
proud, and a daily range of activities that included, but were not
limited to, church choir,Walk to Emmaus, bridge games, a tennis
team, and frequent travel all over the globe.
You would be hard pressed to find anyone
who had more energy or more friends than
Beth. She is a people magnet. As the second
of five children born to the late Bill and
Bettyann Weilenman of Stoneville, her
priorities have pretty much always been God
and other people. But after she and her
husband Guy attended an Emmaus weekend
in 1989, she became more a God and other
people person than ever before. Her daily
prayer for herself is, “God, write your story in
my life. Be seen and heard in me!”
That is certainly one prayer that God
answered for Beth in spades.
On Friday, March 5, 2004, Beth headed to
her classroom at Leland High School where
she had taught special education Life Skills
English for 23 years. That whole week, she
had felt like she was getting sick, but surely
she could make it one more day and have the
entire next week of spring break to get well.
On that fateful day, she made it to her
classroom and realized there was something
seriously wrong. She was having difficulty
breathing at all.
She found herself in the ICU at Delta
Regional Medical Center where Dr. Michael
Mansour ran a myriad of tests and delivered
the rather grim news that she had
cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure,
that he was hopeful medication would remedy
a great deal of the discomfort, but that
ultimately she might be looking at a heart
transplant. A virus had evidently attacked her
heart, and it was beating at 20% capacity.
The lifestyle changes that were imperative
and immediate included giving up tennis,
giving up her career, adhering to a strict diet,
and total bed rest for a while. Gradually she
was able to increase her activities, but tennis
Beth and her transplant team are friends forever. (L to R) Brennett Brown, Nicole Whatley, Beth, Jenny Humphries, and Tammy Boles.
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 25
and her classroom job were forever out of the
question. Life, as she had lived it prior to this
disruptive event, was over.
There were tears, but there was a resilient
faith, too, as Beth chose to view the glass as
half full rather than half empty. One of her
heart’s greatest desires was to have
grandchildren to love, and if altering her life
made that dream a little bit more likely, she
would do whatever it took. She realized she
was blessed to be alive at all, and she
embraced every day with a new sense of
gratitude. The changes she made seemed like
a small price to pay to savor the joys that lay
ahead—more years with her soulmate, her
sons, and, hopefully daughters-in-law
and grandchildren!
The New Normal
Despite the tubes and the weakness, the smile on Beth’s face never left. Her optimism did
not fade, and she had a peace that impacted everyone who came into contact with her
every day. It wasn’t about getting well as much as it was about her faith in the God who
was holding time in His hands. Beth was never one to say, “Poor me.”
The next seven years were good ones—
great ones actually. Beth accepted that some
days were going to be easier than others, but
she learned to say “no” for the first time in her
life. When she ran out of steam, she stopped.
When she felt well, she did almost anything
she wanted. Her medications were working,
and other than missing tennis and her
students, the new normal was okay.
She grew stronger and stronger, and even
assumed the responsibility for homeschooling
a severely dyslexic teenager whose
educational background was riddled with
defeat and sad stories of failure. On the day
this young lady received her graduation
certificate, Beth was the proudest “significant
other” in attendance.
The weekly Leland Progress followed Beth’s journey. Beth’s close friend Amy Taylor
compiled the Caring Bridge journal in Heartstrings, available in bookstores and Amazon.
26 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 27
after lunch that Beth began to feel
weak. The afternoon began with a
headache, a cough, and a flu-like
aching. As the hours passed, Beth
continued to feel worse and worse.
By late afternoon there was no
denying the fact that this was
something serious. She told Guy
she needed to go to the
emergency room.
The initial tests and enzyme
results indicated she’d had a heart
attack, and she was immediately
put in the Delta Regional Cardiac
ICU. Word spread quickly through
Beth’s tiny cardiac intensive care room became a virtual
Leland, the Delta, and beyond. This
studio of fan mail and well wishes over the 100 days
was déjà vu panic all over again
she was a patient at UMMC.
for everyone who loved Beth.
Three days of tests. Three days
And as far as Beth’s health, it continued to
of doing everything within the realm of
improve. She refused to be an invalid. Beth and possibility at Delta Regional Medical. Beth had
Guy took some interesting trips from their
home in Leland via motorcycle to Martha’s
Vineyard and to Niagara Falls. They also
traveled to Israel, Egypt, Hawaii, Prague, and
Vienna. And the greatest “normal” and
wonderful events during those seven years
were the births of two grandsons, Max
and Parker.
Beth thought she was truly home free. She
had adapted well to her curtailed lifestyle. She
worked on numerous Emmaus Walks,
participated in many Bible studies and
attended many women’s events. Her spiritual
life, which had always been notable,
deepened. She did not take a single day for
granted as she lived with a sense of purpose
and gratitude that inspired all who knew her.
On Sunday, January 30, 2011, Guy and Beth
Beth had to get her “sea legs” back after
months of being totally bedridden.
did their usual Sunday routine which was
Walking again was a significant challenge
Sunday school and the morning worship
to confront.
service at the Leland Methodist Church. It was
28 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
excellent care, but on Thursday, February 3, in
the middle of frigid temperatures, sleet and
freezing rain, she was taken by ambulance to
University of Mississippi Medical Center in
Jackson for more tests and, hopefully,
a miracle.
Hope Deferred
It was at University Hospital that Beth heard
the diagnosis—myocarditis, a rare condition
resulting in inflammation of the heart muscle
itself. This, in addition to the cardiomyopathy,
added a new set of problems to her weak
heart. Her heart was not able pump well
enough to transport blood to all of Beth’s
organs. The prognosis for recovery was poor
but not impossible. The possibility of a heart
transplant was now very real. As Beth’s brother
Mark says, “At first, that was not an
encouraging thought to any of us. We saw a
heart transplant as the last resort.”
Guy, while trying to be the strong and
steady encourager for his wife, was under
enormous pressure in those first days at
UMMC. He had a business to run back in
Leland, and he quickly turned that over to
their son, Rob. But his telephone rang non-stop
at all hours of the day and night as friends
from all over called for news of Beth’s
condition and to offer prayers for both of them.
Trying to answer the phone calls, give correct
information—information that seemed to
change with every passing hour—was taking
its toll.
Beth’s brother, Mark, who happened to live
in Jackson and worked a block or two from the
hospital, offered to start a Caring Bridge site.
With a background in journalism, he was a
communicator, and he could handle the
updates with succinct accuracy and grace. “I
was as panicked as anyone, and it would give
me something to do,” he says. Because Beth’s
condition was so fluid, Guy was concerned
that whatever was posted be correct but fairly
general in detail. The future was so uncertain
that they were hesitant to broadcast too much
about her condition.
Guy welcomed Mark’s help. As Mark
explains, “You could say I was the writer, but
Guy was the editor!” Mark and Guy agreed
that they wanted to approach the blog as Beth
would if she had been strong enough to write
it. Everyone knew of Beth’s faith, and so the
spiritual dimension was front and center. Little
did either know that Beth’s journey as
chronicled in the Caring Bridge website
would become the book Heartstrings a few
years later.
Beth was in her third week at University
Hospital when everything began to fail. Her
kidneys, lungs and heart were growing
weaker and weaker. Her heart muscle was not
recovering, and her ejection fraction was
extremely low. The ejection fraction measures
the percentage of blood that leaves the left
ventricle with each contraction. A normal
ejection fraction is between 55 and 75
percent. Beth’s was five percent. She
was dying.
When Mark visited his sister on that
Just a few of Beth’s family cheering section. (Front row, from left) Dick Hanna, Jane
Weilenman Hanna, sister; Ellen Walker, sister; Anne Stevens, niece; (Back row) Jane Warren,
niece, Bill and Bettyann Weilenman, parents.
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 29
February 23, 2011, he thought he was saying
to her right and see the CentriMag pumping
work Beth’s heart could no longer do. Guy
goodbye. The doctors explained to the family
at three thousand revolutions per minute.
loves to compare the centrimag to a working
that everything that could be done had
Despite the side effect of unrelenting nausea
battery for a car. Replace a dead battery with
been done.
and a fever, Beth knew this amazing machine
a new battery, and every gadget in the car will
However, Guy was not ready to give up. As
was keeping her alive, and she was grateful.
work—from the windshield wipers to the radio
he pushed Beth’s doctors for more
Mark and Guy continued to
answers, he was told that there was
post entries on the Caring Bridge
one last ditch effort they might
site, and occasionally Beth was
possibly try. There was a machine
able to tap out something. The
called a CentriMag, a relatively new
tone of the epistle was definitely
and slightly experimental external
Beth, and the guestbook bulged
heart-pumping machine that might
every new day with prayers and
give Beth a temporary reprieve, but
encouraging messages from
no one had ever used it at UMMC. It
friends. Her room had been
might not work at all, and because
covered in a virtual wallpaper of
Beth was in such critical condition,
cards, posters, and get
such a surgery was very dangerous.
well wishes.
But was there any other option? No.
Occasionally, she Skyped with
Guy was ready to take a chance as
her grandsons Max and Parker.
he told the doctors, “Let’s do it.”
Just seeing those two precious
Ultimately, he understood a heart
boys gave her an extra boost and
Ta-Dah became a mantra as Beth’s young grandson Parker
transplant was the only thing that was
reminded
her of the blessings
adopted the phrase to demonstrate every new thing he learned.
going to give Beth her life back, but
she had already received. Guy
It was a family joke, but so apropos in a situation where humor
they could not just wait around until a
came at 5 a.m. every morning,
relieved a lot of anxiety.
matching heart became available.
again at noon and 5 p.m. and
This strange machine was a lifeline at that
to the engine. With the CentriMag, her kidneys back to say “goodnight” at 9 p.m. Before Guy
critical moment.
left at night they would share a daily devotional
began to function and her lungs improved.
And to everyone’s utter delight, the
and prayer time thanking God for all He had
She was placed number one on the transplant
CentriMag did what it was supposed to do.
done and asking Him for continued healing.
list at UMC. And the waiting began.
For the next 46 days, that machine did the
Often the staff nurses joined them. Beth had
It seemed an odd prayer in many ways to
become a precious family member to
pray for a new heart. For Beth to receive a
heart and the chance at life, someone else was everyone on the unit. But the days dragged on
as they waited expectantly to hear the news of
going to have to lose their life. Beth, Guy, their
a new heart that did not come quickly.
sons Rob and Will, and the rest of their
Along with prayers for the new heart, they
extended family took that thought very
were praying for patience. Their ordeal gave
seriously. Knowing how much they loved their
fresh meaning to 2 Peter 3:8, “But do not
Beth, they were not oblivious to the fact that
overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the
should that matching heart become available;
Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a
another family was going to face a devastating
thousand years as one day.”
loss of someone who was likely as important
March came and went. Beth could not stay
to them as Beth was to her family.
on the CentriMag much longer because there
How do you pray in that situation? With
were significant risks involved. If a new heart
incredible humility and supernatural
did not appear soon, the next step was
surrender to God’s sovereign will. “And the
another temporary device, an LVAD which
peace of God, which passeth all
was a little more portable. It is frequently used
understanding, shall keep your hearts and
by transplant patients as they wait a more
minds through Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 4: 7).
permanent solution. The downside to
replacing the CentriMag with the LVAD was
that Beth would automatically be removed
The Waiting Game
COLLECTION
from the top of the transplant list because she
It is a fact that approximately twenty-one of
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immediate peril.
transplant die each day because a matching
donor is not found in time. One organ donor
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It was Saturday morning, April 10, when
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Beth struck up a conversation with the lady
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Madison, Mississippi 39110
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be one person to the world, but to one person
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immediate connection between the two as
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PRIVATE COLLECTION CONSIGNMENT
they began to talk about God’s blessings. Just
Beth continued to reside in the ICU, totally
as the lady turned to leave she said to Beth,
bedridden as the days passed. She could look
30 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
“God just told me you will get a new heart
patients around the country who were waiting
Beth was taken to surgery for prep about
this weekend.”
in circumstances as dire as Beth’s who were
4:30 p.m. that afternoon. When her gurney
Beth was touched as she answered, “Well,
preparing to receive kidneys, lungs, a liver,
headed for the elevator, it seemed that half of
that would be great,” but as long as this
and who knows what else from this generous
Leland, Mississippi was waiting—and they
process had plodded along, she was
sent her off with a standing ovation
not holding her breath! God’s timing
and tears of joy.
was God’s timing.
At 1:46 a.m. on Monday morning,
The very next morning—well
Beth was rolled back into her ICU
before the sun came up—Beth was
room and the doctor came in to
awakened by a “committee” of
speak to the family. Although Beth
doctors and nurses who gave her the
would still have some rough days
long-awaited news. “Beth, you have a
ahead and a grueling rehabilitation
heart!” The joy on that floor was like
process, things had gone even better
“Christmas on steroids” as brother
than anyone could have hoped.
Mark, the Caring Bridge wordsmith,
Never had her surgeon had a
put it.
transplant patient whose ejection rate
Beth called her husband who was
was as low as Beth’s who had
immediately alert when his wife
come through surgery with such
exclaimed, “Guy, I got a heart! I got a
flying colors.
heart!” The news spread quickly
A new banner that covered an
Husband Guy impressed the UMC staff as much as Beth did.
through the Weilenman family, the
entire wall of her ICU room shouted
He was the epitome of the perfect husband and cheerleader.
church friends, the network of prayer
“TA-DAH!!!” Grandson Max, just two
warriors, and fans that had followed
years old, had recently taken up that
Beth’s journey.
family who were surely grieving the sudden
phrase and he shouted it as often as possible.
How fitting that this gift was delivered on
death of someone very precious to them.
It had become Beth’s special mantra that
the Sabbath Day! A crowd gathered in the
Each transport team had to get to the
captured her indomitable spirit and
waiting room outside the ICU. And the day
hospital in that city and recover the organ they
confidence in God’s complete command of
dragged on. Beth later learned that when
needed before the heart team could receive
the situation throughout the lengthy ordeal.
organs are donated, the last organ to be
their precious cargo and fly back to Jackson
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Life Goes On
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The next four weeks were a constant push
toward health and restoration. There were still
a million things that could go wrong, and a
delicate balance to strike in the midst of
retraining her long-bedridden body to do the
routine everyday things that an independent
healthy person takes for granted. There were
constant tests, exercises, therapies,
procedures to boost the immune system, to
prevent rejection, to regulate the new heart,
to overcome the effects of 76 days in bed.
The home stretch was in view, but it was as
difficult and demanding as any leg of this
journey had been.
But there was not a millisecond of
challenge that dampened Beth’s total
euphoria and enthusiasm over the future that
had been given to her. As she wrote in a
Caring Bridge post, “I’ve been given this
blessing and I want to make sure I honor
God as I look for ways to serve, as I continue
to recover.”
Four weeks after the miraculous surgery
that had given Beth a new heart, she and Guy
drove down the familiar street to their home
in Leland. Friends lined the avenue, and
welcome home posters and balloons were
staked across her yard like a political
campaign in full bloom. It was a homecoming
worthy of a hero, and Beth was definitely that
to so many.
People often ask Beth if there are any
predictors on how long she could expect to
live with her new heart. As one who is
playing tennis with vigor again and whose
check-ups continue to get A+ results from
her doctors, such a question is almost
insulting. “Why, I plan to live until at least 82,”
she says. Ninety-five is probably more like it.
Her doctors do say that the fact that Beth
took such great care of herself in those seven
years between her first heart event and the
critical illness of 2011 gave her an advantage
over some transplant patients. The impact of
her faith on her physical wellbeing would
also be hard to dispute.
As her brother Mark reminded her friends
on Caring Bridge, “Beth has been making
investments into her spiritual bank during the
many, many years she’s been an active
Christian. When she needed to dip into that
reservoir of faith, there was more than
enough there to get her through this, with
plenty left over still earning interest.”
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32 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
The Legacy of Giving
As you can imagine, Beth O’Reilly has
become a cheerleader for the Mississippi
Organ Recovery Association. She has been
The grandchildren who were a large part
of Beth’s prayer and determination to beat
this challenge. (Back L to R) Max, Hall,
Parker, (Front) Baby girl Ella Rives.
called on often to share her story, a request
that she considers to be a high privilege. She
hopes to one day meet the family of the
woman whose heart gave her a
second chance.
It was truly a gift of love on the part of that
family, and as Beth says beautifully, “Love is
the only thing it is okay to do in excess.”
Months after the surgery, Beth had the
chance to write to her donor’s family. MORA
delivered the letter to the anonymous family.
So far, Beth has not gotten to meet them, but
she hopes as time passes they will want to
meet the lady who carries their precious
loved one’s heart. Her words to them say
it all:
Life is truly a mystery. We don’t
understand why things happen the way they
do. I have prayed for you and your family and
the grief you are bearing. As I tell people
about my experience, I honor you and your
gift of life each time…know that I remember
you in my prayers daily. I thank you for my
heart….Beth.
And as Beth continues to speak, she
reminds everyone who hears her words, “…if
God’s aim is to expand the boundaries of His
kingdom, then He has succeeded. For every
time He heals, a thousand sermons are
preached.”
And all God’s people say, “Amen!” Y
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mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 33
➺food for thought
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him
that sent me, and to finish His work.”
by LYDIA BOLEN
– John 4:34
All Things Red and Yummy
T
he month of February is such a festive month with all the Super Bowl
gatherings and Valentine’s Day celebrations.
The color red is everywhere to brighten your winter humdrums. Different hues of red and
pink alert us all month as a reminder that a special day is near. On February 14, we typically
send cards, sweets, balloons, and gifts to those we love.
I love all things red as a sweet. My favorite red dessert is Red Velvet Cupcakes. These are fun
and easy to make, and I love the vibrant color!
Raspberry Dessert can be served as a special ending to a festive Valentine meal. The
raspberries on top add that special touch of color and flavor.
One of my favorite cookies is the Thumbprint Cookie. They can be made with many different
jams, but the raspberry seedless jam is pretty for a special occasion. Y
RED VELVET CUPCAKES
2 1/2
1/2
1
1/2
1
2
4
1
1/2
1
2
RASPBERRY DESSERT
Crust
11/3 cups graham crackers, crushed
3 tablespoons confectioners sugar
5 to 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
Mix together and press into a 9-inch
pie plate
Cheesecake
1
2
1
1/2
package (8 oz.) cream cheese
eggs
teaspoon vanilla extract
cup sugar
Raspberry Topping
1 package frozen raspberries
Beat pie mixture together until smooth.
Put in crust and bake at 350 degrees for
18-20 minutes.
Drain 1 package frozen raspberries.
(Do not need to save the juice)
Heat berries and add 3 tablespoons sugar
and thicken with 2 teaspoons cornstarch.
Cool pie mixture and cool the
berry mixture.
Place cooled berry mixture on top of
cream cheese pie.
Cool pie in refrigerator.
Serve cold with a dollop of whipped
cream on top of each piece.
RASPBERRY ALMOND THUMBPRINTS
1
2/3
1/2
2
1/2
cup unsalted butter, softened
cup sugar
teaspoon almond flavoring
cups all-purpose flour
cup raspberry seedless jam
Combine butter, sugar, and almond
flavoring. Beat at medium speed until
creamy. Add flour. Beat at low speed until
well mixed. Cover; refrigerate until set. (It is
very important to leave dough in the
refrigerator an hour!)
Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place 2
inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.
Make indentation in center of each cookie
with thumb. Fill each indentation with 1/4
teaspoon of raspberry jam.
Bake 14-18 minutes until edges are lightly
browned. Let stand 1 minute on cookie
sheet. Remove to cooling racks.
Cool completely.
Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
2 to 3 teaspoons water
1 1/2 teaspoons almond flavoring
Combine all glaze ingredients in bowl with
whisk until smooth. Drizzle over cookies.
Yields 42 cookies.
cups flour
cup unsweetened cocoa powder
teaspoon baking soda
teaspoon salt
cup unsalted butter (2 sticks)
cups granulated sugar
eggs
cup sour cream
cup milk
bottle (1 oz.) red food coloring
teaspoons vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and
salt in medium bowl. Set aside.
Beat butter and sugar on medium speed
until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a
time. Mix in sour cream, milk, food coloring,
and vanilla. Beat in flour mixture gradually on
low speed. Do not overbeat. Spoon batter
into 30 paper-lined muffin cups. Fill each cup
about 2/3 full.
Bake 20 minutes or until inserted
toothpick comes out clean. Cool in pans on
wire rack for 5 minutes. Remove from pans
and cool completely.
Cream Cheese Frosting
1
1/4
2
2
1
package (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
cup unsalted butter, softened
tablespoons sour cream
teaspoons vanilla extract
box (16 oz.) confectioners sugar
Beat cream cheese, butter, sour cream,
and vanilla in electric mixer until light and
fluffy. Gradually beat in confectioners sugar
until smooth. Frost each cupcake.
(For a festive look, use Valentine themed
paper liners. Sprinkle top with pink and red
sprinkles.
Yields 30 cupcakes.
Remember to make memories through the kitchen—”the heartbeat of the home.”
E-mail me at [email protected] for any questions.
34 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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➺chewed petunias
by SUSAN E. RICHARDSON
Digging for the Roots
For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the
afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but
has heard, when he cried to him. – Psalm 22:24, ESV
bout three years ago I noticed a strange pattern
cropping up physically. I started running lowgrade fever. Never enough to make me worry, but
enough to notice. Since I have allergies and always have some
A
congestion, I thought I probably had developed a mild
sinus infection.
When I started waking up with severe night sweats, I didn’t
connect the two. After all, I had to accept that I’d come to a certain
age where such things happen. After a couple of episodes, I
reminded myself to get back on my herbals and went on with life.
Finally I came to a Thursday morning when I felt too bad to get
ready for an appointment. I managed to get out of bed, but couldn’t
push myself any further. I took an antihistamine and went back to
bed, hoping to sleep off whatever was brewing.
By that evening, I could tell I was sick and should have called the
doctor. First thing Friday morning I called and was able to get in that
afternoon. The verdict was pneumonia. My doctor immediately put
me on medication and told me to come back Monday to see how I
was doing.
Pneumonia isn’t anyone’s idea of fun, and I wasn’t pleased with
having it, but then came the phone call from my doctor after the
radiologist had checked my chest x-rays. I didn’t just have
pneumonia. I had a lung abscess. The pneumonia was probably a
complication of the abscess.
What I’m learning about living with spiritual wounding brought
my bout with pneumonia and the lung abscess back to mind. In
some ways, spiritual wounds are like physical ills. A problem raises
its head and we think we know what’s going on. We may try
treatment of some kind and things get a little better. Then one
day, everything comes together and we see that we’ve got
a big problem.
With my illness, when I went back for another checkup, I was
shocked to end up in the hospital. The pneumonia had responded to
the drugs, but the abscess had not. I needed stronger treatment with
different antibiotics to get rid of the root cause. My doctor knew that
from the beginning, but she also knew I could only tolerate so much
36 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
medication at a time. She chose to treat the pneumonia first, since
that was the closest to killing me.
Spiritual wounds can be the same. Back when I was in counseling,
I’d noticed that we seemed to come back to the same issues on a
different level. I had done the work before, but each time we cleared
out a layer of “infection” we found more I needed to do.
The more we found, the more I saw how most approaches to
recovery address the outer level, whether it’s depression or another
challenge. Recognizing my self-centered defenses or acknowledging
how false beliefs had become idols was important, but removing
those things still did not touch the wound creating all the issues. I
needed to allow God in more deeply.
Over time, the Lord has cleared a lot of spiritual and emotional
infection from my life, but I’m still asking questions about how to get
rid of the deepest wound. I haven’t found answers yet. God knows
what the wounds are and how to heal them, but like my doctor He
also knows how much treatment I can stand at any point in time. He
works with gentle persistence to bring me to wholeness, as He does
anyone living with woundedness.
Eventually I may see and understand. Until then I grumble,
complain, and fight, but keep moving forward, wanting to know.
When I come face to face with my human lack and can’t understand,
“I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your
wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your
mighty deeds” (Psalm 77:11-12, ESV).
Lord, give us the courage to keep moving forward despite
what we can or can’t see. Hold tightly to us when we can’t
hold onto You. Help us allow You to lead us more deeply
into healing, seeking to face the deepest wounds. Y
Susan E. Richardson has a passion for meeting people’s needs
through the written word.You can reach her by email at
[email protected] or check either of her two websites:
www.chewedpetunias.com or www.nextlevelcritiques.com.
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 37
➺christian commerce
Sitters, LLC Is a Homegrown Business
(Seated L to R) Gwin Wyatt, Ashley Hegwood, Kelsey Griffin, (Standing L to R) Cindy Yelverton,
Owner/Manager; Carey Yelverton, (Not pictured) Jacqui Lear, Vicki Hightower.
MCL: Where did you grow up and
what is your education background?
Cindy Yelverton: I was born and raised in
the Delta. I lived in Tralake, Mississippi, where
my father managed a cotton farm. I lived there
until I went to college. After graduating from
Deer Creek Academy in 1978, I went to Ole
Miss where I studied Business Administration.
Q.
MCL: When did you begin
Sitters, LLC?
CY: I started Sitters, LLC, in 2001 as a
home-based business. At the time, I had three
small children that also needed my attention.
As the business grew, I moved my office to
Highland Village and have been there
ever since.
Q.
MCL: What made you interested in
providing a service like this?
CY: I actually started Sitters as a nanny
matching service. With three children, I had a
wealth of baby sitters that all of my friends
wanted to use. I referred some of the people
who helped care for my family to others so
that my friends could run errands, have a
night out, or do whatever else they needed. So
when I turned 40, I decided to turn this into a
Q.
38 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
business. That is when Sitters, LLC, was
created. Matching sitters for adult care just
happened as the need for senior care grew in
the community. I started looking for sitters that
were interested in providing adult care at
that point.
MCL: Your service differs from a lot of
the others that people think of as a
“sitting” service because I notice your
services are not limited to taking care of the
elderly.What can you tell me about the
specific services you provide?
CY: We connect skilled and compassionate
individuals with our clients who need
additional care for children and adults in the
home, hospital, nursing, or assisted living
facilities. Most of the sitters with whom we
have relationships require a three-hour
minimum stay, and we are available to connect
families with a sitter 24/7. The sitters generally
provide transportation, errands, assisting with
personal needs, meals, cleaning and
especially companionship. As a
complimentary service for clients who have
Long Term Care Insurance, we will file the
expenses paid to us with their insurance
company for them.
Q.
MCL: When you assign a caregiver to
a particular job, how do you match
the need and the caregiver?
CY: Finding the right match is very
personal from client to client and is an
important undertaking. I start by personally
contacting the client or a family member to
assess their wants and needs. I also like to
have a feel for their personality, the time of day
or night a sitter is needed, etc. I then take the
information the family has given me and
match that client with a sitter according to
experience, personality, and availability. I
always tell my families that the personalities
have to mix for the match to work. If one
particular sitter does not mix well with the
family, I ask them to call me so that I can refer
a different sitter.
The family is the heart and soul of our
society. Inviting a caregiver, a stranger, into
someone’s home is a very personal decision
and can be a daunting task that I take very
seriously. I personally match all my sitters to
my families no matter how hard or difficult the
situation may be.
I know all my sitters on a personal basis. I
see them regularly when they are in the office
and know their personalities. When I talk to
Q.
clients, I am automatically thinking of the best
fit for them. Most of the time I get it spot on.
I still make it a priority after 14 years in
business to personally interview every sitter in
my database of potential sitters. Also, personal
contact with every client and family has always
been a priority for me.
MCL: I notice that Sitters has more
than one location.What cities do
you serve?
CY: Yes, we have clients and relationships
with sitters really over most of the state,
especially cities in the surrounding Jackson
Metro area, Oxford, and Tupelo. If a client calls
from an area where we do not have a
relationship with any sitters, we will do a
search until we find the person or persons
right for that client. I go beyond the call of duty
to help anyone in need.
Q.
MCL: As a business owner and
entrepreneur of sorts, how do you
integrate your personal faith and values into
your business?
CY: My faith has pulled me through many
personal and business situations through these
years. My faith is based on trust and love of
God. I would hope that my clients have the
faith and trust in me to help them to the best of
Q.
(L to R) Cindy Yelverton and Diane Arnold,
Caregiver.
my ability. I take pride in doing the best I can
for all of my families and for the sitters. If
distress or problems occur, they know to call
me whenever needed.
I do want to mention the sitters that I have
developed relationships with over the years. I
am grateful for the dedication they have to
their clients and to me. I am able to place
sitters in positions with clients that fit their time
and needs. Some of these sitters would not
otherwise have flexible work opportunities
due to children, school, or geographic location
if they didn’t have a relationship with my
company. I always tell them they are like my
second family.
God has blessed me with many talents.
This is my way of sharing my gifts from God
with other people. I am trying to use my
talents in the service of others, and consider
this my life’s mission and ministry.
With the help of God and my loving family, I
have built this company on love, honesty,
integrity, and dependability. I am honored to
help match clients in need of assistance with
sitters that need work.
“…Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye
have done it unto one of the least of these my
brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew
25:40, KJV).
Scripture tells us that we are to be
compassionate and caring of others. It is our
mission to offer helping hands from
compassionate caregivers. “Care is our
calling” is our motto. By treating every client
with tenderness, dignity, empathy, and respect,
we strive to show our clients how important
they and their loved ones are to us. Y
Venable
GLASS SERVICES
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Auto Glass
Windshields replaced in shop or mobile
Rock repairs
Heavy equipment Glass
Shower Doors
Mirrors cut to size
Window & Picture Frame Glass
Insulated Glass
Table & Desk Tops
Commercial Store Fronts and Doors
Patio & Sliding Doors
Plexi Glass
Matthew L. Oswalt, MD
Karen A. Maltby, MD
RIDGELAND
660 Highway 51
Ridgeland, MS 39157
601-605-4443
BRANDON
209 Woodgate Dr. South
Brandon, MS 39042
601-824-4405
www.venableglass.com
TUPELO
1512 Medical Park Circle
662.620.0688
STARKVILLE
1207 Highway 182 West
662.324.0688
www.nmaac.com
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 39
➺money matters
by SCOTT T. MARSHALL, CPA, CFP®
Before You Invest—Four Simple Questions to Ask Yourself
What you really
need to know
to make sound
investment decisions.
What does the Bible say
about investing money?
God’s inspired, inerrant Word
has plenty to say about the
stewardship of money. As
Christians God expects us to give,
budget and save wisely. It’s vital to
remember that Scripture tells us
not to love money, trust in money, or even try
to serve God and money simultaneously. (1
Timothy 6:10,17; Matthew 6:24) We don't really
own anything; God just lets us use things. We
came into this world empty-handed and we
will leave this world the same way.
God's Word does not prohibit but, rather,
encourages saving for the future, including
Worried
about everything you
need to save for?
From college to retirement, I can help you
create a plan to reach your saving goals. Call
today. Let’s talk about your plan for life.
Modern Woodmen of America
Jim Brown* FIC
398 East Main St., Ste. 201
Tupelo, MS 38804
662-678-6935
[email protected]
retirement (Proverbs 6:6-11, 21:20), but the
example of the rich fool, given by Jesus in
Luke 12:16-20, should be a clear indication
that God's balance is "when in doubt, give—
don't hoard."
As I think about our witness before the
world, it would appear to be evident that in
our most visible area, finances, we often have
a poor testimony. In large part, this is because
Christians just haven't been taught what God's
Word says.
We need God's Word to be taught clearly
and unashamedly, and the gospel of Jesus
Christ proclaimed in our cities and states, and
to the nations. Perhaps the next greatest need
is for Christians who will live in a manner that
is worthy of the gospel. (Philippians 1:27)
The way we handle money is a really good
barometer of our spiritual condition. Our
pastor frequently reminds us that we are to
order our lives, including our finances, for the
sake of the gospel.
So before you invest what God has blessed
you with, make sure you remember the words
of Christ in Matthew 6:19-21, “Do not lay up
for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth
and rust destroy and where thieves break in
and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in
heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys
and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there your heart
will be also.”
Why are you investing?
*Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial
Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Modern Woodmen of
America.
40 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Is your goal short term in nature, like
saving money for a new car or vacation next
year? Or do you have a long-term goal of
accumulating money for your children’s
college education or your future retirement?
For short-term goals, consider saving
money in a savings account. This
account offers liquidity (you can
withdraw funds when you need
them). Savings accounts provide
safety for your money. Another
choice is money market accounts,
which provide income on cash
reserves while preserving capital.
However, the interest earned on
these accounts is usually low.
With long-term goals, consider
placing your money in investment
vehicles that can potentially offer
higher returns. Examples include
variable annuities, mutual funds,
stocks, and bonds. The downside of
these investment opportunities is the
potential to lose your principal (the amount of
money you originally placed in the
investment) if the securities decrease in value.
How much time do you have?
Once you decide your reason for investing,
determine how much time you have until you
will need the money. This is called your
investment horizon. Generally, the longer your
time horizon, the more risk you can assume.
How much risk are you
willing to take?
The more risk you’re willing to assume, the
bigger the return on your investment could
be. To determine your risk tolerance level, ask
yourself this question: “What would I do if my
investment lost money?” Would you
immediately pull your funds out of the
investment or remain calm, leaving your
money in the investment vehicle?
Once you’ve answered those key
questions, consult a trusted financial advisor
who both advocates and personally practices
biblical stewardship. This will make finding the
right investment vehicles much easier for you.
Y
Jim Brown is a financial advisor with
Modern Woodmen of America, and an
elder at the Church at Trace Crossing in
Tupelo. He and his wife, Candise, have
three children, Taylor, Andrew, and Carrie
Ann.You can email him at
[email protected].
Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a
wholly owned subsidiary of Modern Woodmen of America,
1701 1st Avenue, Rock Island, IL 61201, 309-558-3100.
Member: FINRA, SIPC.
Welcomes
Jay Brown, MD
Dr. Jay Brown, a native of Bay Springs, Mississippi,
received his Bachelor of Arts degree in Biology
from the University of Mississippi and completed
his medical degree and Ophthalmology residency
at the University of Mississippi School of Medicine,
where he was presented with an Award for
Excellence in Ophthalmology studies. His retina
fellowship was completed at Louisiana State
University in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and he
proudly served as the Chief of Ophthalmology at
Mississippi Baptist Hospital from 2010 to 2012.
He is board certified by the American Board of
Ophthalmology.
Belhaven Building
1200 North State Street, Suite 300
Jackson, Mississippi 39202
601.981.4091
www.msretina.com
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 41
If I gave everything I have to the poor & even
sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I
didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
– 1 Corinthians 13:3
real love.
real acceptance.
www.star93fm.com
42 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
➺
legal advice
by WILLIAM B. HOWELL
Role Reversal—When the Child Becomes the Parent
We all have our image of ourselves in relation to our
parents. It is probably one of obedience and respect. We
were taught not to talk back and not to ask unnecessary questions,
but to obey.
Now our parents may be becoming forgetful, or becoming infirm
physically, which leads in some cases to a fearfulness of things that in
prior years would have given them no concern. These are very real
changes, and they have to be addressed in the relationship of parent and
child. In order to make the life of the parent better and to make the life of
the child easier, we cling to the old relationship, but at our peril.
Make certain that, as you need to take over for your parent, you have
the actual authority. Many people rely upon a skimpy one- or two-page
power of attorney and think that will do the job. There are several
omissions that will make such a document faulty and hobble your ability
to do things on behalf of your parent. Specifically, if there is real estate
involved, and most particularly if it is homestead real property, you need
to have the actual legal description of the property and the specific
authority set out within the power of attorney, and the power of attorney
needs to be recorded at the courthouse. Recording is always a wise
thing to do under any circumstances, because you may need multiple
“true” copies of the power of attorney. It is much easier to get an
attested copy from the chancery clerk’s office than it is to keep track of
countless originals. Also, there is the problem of some banks and others
not honoring a power of attorney. That can be overcome by having a
living trust rather than, or in addition to, a power of attorney.
HOWELL KYLE & WYNN, PLLC
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
Of course, our parents, ourselves, and just about everyone else, need
an Advance Health-Care Directive to be able to specify what it is that we
do and do not want done for our care from a medical standpoint,
particularly in the latter stages of life. This is a most useful document, but
one that, strangely, many people do not have. It is easy to obtain and,
again, should be recorded and copies given out to the persons who are
involved, including your physician and decision makers. Make certain
that it includes provisions under HIPAA (the federal medical
privacy regulations).
Finally, ask about and learn about in detail your parents’ finances. This
applies regardless of how wealthy or how little they may have.
Knowledge of their financial situation is crucial when you are the one
going to be called upon to make the decisions regarding possible
nursing home placement, independent living, or other arrangements.
There is no substitute for knowledge, and the biggest impediment to
gaining that knowledge is the child’s own reluctance and fear of being
perceived by the parent as prying, when all the child is attempting to do
is to gain the necessary knowledge to provide meaningful assistance in
seeing to the care of the parent. They usually will understand this unless
the parent is into advanced paranoia, in which case this inquiry should
have been done a long time ago. It is imperative that you have a handle
on the financial aspect.
Parenting a parent is a daunting task, especially with the baggage that
most of us carry with us regarding our relationship to our parents. But, it
is so very important, and it may well be your final expression of love to
your mother or father. Y
YOU·VE WORKED HARD FOR IT³WHY THROW IT AWAY?
While you are alive, you can and should make all decisions and manage your
personal affairs. What if you become incompetent? What happens at your death?
Who will take over and manage your affairs? Will it be someone you chose or the
court chose? How is that done? Will it be outside of court or in court? The same
questions arise with the distribution of your assets. What about protecting your
FKLOG·VLQKHULWDQFHIURPDGLYRUFHRUDODZVXLW":LOO\RXUKDUG-earned savings go to
the nursing home? Have you ever asked yourself these questions?
Howell Kyle & Wynn, PLLC is committed to providing you with the knowledge and
tools needed to avoid these types of situations which can be financially and
emotionally devastating to your loved ones. Below are some items to consider:
Our life expectancy has increased, but are all of us
going to be in good health in our old age?
Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing what the
future holds for ourselves and our families.
Howell Kyle & Wynn, PLLC is dedicated
to providing you and your family a plan
that offers true peace of mind.
1-800-839-7857
www.HowellElderLaw.com
i
REVOCABLE LIVING TRUSTS
i
ASSET PROTECTION PLANNING
i
IRA INHERITANCE TRUSTSŠ
i
POWERS OF ATTORNEY
i
PERSONAL ASSET TRUSTS
i
LAST WILLS & TESTAMENT
i
NURSING HOME MEDICAID PLANNING
i
ADVANCE HEALTH-CARE DIRECTIVES
i
SPECIAL NEEDS TRUSTS
i
HIPAA AUTHORIZATIONS
SM
GET ACCURATE ANSWERS FROM AN EXPERIENCED ATTORNEY
FREE SEMINARS³FREE CONSULTATIONS
HEAR MR. KYLE
ON THE RADIO!
TUESDAYS
7:35A.M.
NEWSTALK 1180
601-978-1700 OR 1-800-839-7857
VISIT US ON THE WEB:
www.HowellElderLaw.com
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 43
➺what’s going on
Dr. Ben Carson to Speak in Tupelo
T
uesday, February 17, Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic will be
hosting Dr. Ben Carson for their yearly fundraiser. Dr. Carson
used the power of education to triumph over his difficult beginnings in
inner city Detroit.
He is a retired Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at John Hopkins,
has performed numerous craniopagus separations, and was named as
one of the nation’s 20 foremost physicians and scientists. In 2008,
President Bush awarded Carson the Ford’s Theater Lincoln Medal and
the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the U.S. highest civilian honors.
Dr. Carson will be speaking for Parkgate’s fundraiser at the Orchard
Church in Tupelo, MS. Doors open at 5:30 p.m., coffee and dessert will
be served, and the event begins at 6:30 p.m. Tickets can be purchased
at parkgateclinic.com.
Executive Director Jima Alexander says being a part of Parkgate’s
ministry has, “reminded me of what Jesus has done for me. He could
have placed judgment on me but instead He received me.”
Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic is about freely receiving and investing in
women. Parkgate is a non-profit medical clinic that offers limited
obstetrical ultrasound to women facing an unplanned pregnancy. Other
services provided are MPower (Abstinence Curriculum), Parenting
Classes, and Post-Abortion Bible Studies.
Parkgate’s Mission is to promote life-affirming choices. No Hassles.
No Judgement. Just Help. In 2014, Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic received
2,006 clients and performed 616 Ultrasounds. Parkgate relies on
sponsorships, their yearly fundraiser, and donations from life-minded
individuals to offer these free services. Y
➺rave reviews
BOOK
Esther Royal Beauty
Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson
Best-selling author Angela Hunt
begins a new Biblical fiction series with
Esther: Royal Beauty. Hunt combines the
Biblical story with in-depth research,
giving the familiar story freshness.
Writing fiction about Biblical characters
can be challenging, but the author
always considers Scripture the
final authority.
We meet Hadassah in Susa, one of
Persia’s capital cities, where she lives
with her uncle Mordecai and his wife,
Miriam. Her relatives raise her in the
Jewish faith but she sees the entrancing
differences in the lives of others. From her friendship with a Persian
girl to her own hopes and dreams, she lives between the
two worlds.
While Hadassah grows up, Harbonah, one of the king’s servants,
becomes our eyes and ears inside the Persian court. Through him
we get to know Xerxes, who will change Hadassah’s life. The two
stories move along beside each other with Mordecai as the
primary connection point until the king’s edict brings Hadassah to
the palace and her new name: Esther.
Through the story, readers experience Persian history and learn
details of Persian law and justice that may be unfamiliar. Xerxes
becomes a complex person, not just a name, as does Vashti and
others Scripture mentions.
If you enjoy historical fiction or Biblical fiction, more specifically,
you can’t go wrong with Esther. Book groups will find discussion
questions at the end of the book, and Hunt provides an author’s
note to answer questions a reader may have. Forthcoming titles in
the “Dangerous Beauty” series include Bathsheba and Delilah. Y
Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former
Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs
through the written word.You can reach her through her website
www.nextlevelcritiques.com.
NAVIGATE
SINGLE ADULT CONFERENCE
February 21st, 2015 — 9 am to 2 pm
Childcare for 3 years through grade 6,
available by reservation when you register.
Cost $25
To register: www.firstbaptistjackson.org/navigate/
Learn from the past, thrive in the present, embrace the future.
44 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
➺
events calendar
CLINTON
MADISON
February 7
The Diabetes Foundation of Mississippi hosts
the Bacchus Ball 6:30–11:30 p.m. at the
Country Club of Jackson. Wear your finest and
bring your dancing shoes as The Atlanta All
Stars, the South’s most authentic Motown, Soul
and R&B band, wows you with a dazzling
display of musical talent! Bid on incredible
artwork, jewelry, sports memorabilia, and
amazing deals as part of the silent and live
auctions. 601.978.7878 or msdiabetes.org.
February 6
February 7
St. Joseph Catholic School Annual
Drawdown benefitting the student body and
the school. Silent auction, live auction, and
much more. Purchase tickets at
stjoebruins.com by clicking on the Draw
Down link. $125 ticket admits two people one
chance to win $10,000!
February 11
Alta Woods Baptist Church presents John
Maxwell’s Fish Tale production, The Story of
Peter. Dinner at 5:00 p.m. Performance at 5:30
p.m. Tickets $10. 601.372.8651.
February 21
First Baptist Jackson hosts Navigate, a single
adult conference with six seminars, engaging
speakers, and roundtable discussions. 9 a.m.–2
p.m. at First Baptist Church. Contact Gwen
Jenkins at [email protected].
Van Cliburn Award winning pianist Sean Chen
performs at Mississippi College’s Swor
Auditorium. 7:30 p.m. Details and tickets
available at mc.edu/marketplace.
February 7
Bob Coleman Winter 10K Run/5K Walk. 8
a.m. Out-and-back course on the Natchez Trace
Parkway, Clinton, I-20 East/West, Exit 34, then
south to first parking lot. Registration on Race
Day at 7 a.m. All proceeds benefit CARA.
mstrackclub.com or 601-856-9884.
RIDGELAND
February 21
Make a Difference 5K race sponsored by
SouthGroup Insurance and benefitting Blair E.
Batson Children’s Hospital. Course begins and
ends at Woodlands Office Park at County Line
Road in Ridgeland. Kids area including space
jumps, face painting, and balloons.
mstrackclub.com
February 12
Date Night with Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott.
Broadmoor Baptist Church at 1531 Highland
Colony Parkway 6:30-9 p.m. This fun event is
for couples of any age or stage. Conflicts
happen, but they can lead to a deeper level
of intimacy. Couples will laugh while they
learn new ways to instantly improve their
relationship. broadmoor.com or
601.898.2345.
TUPELO
February 7
Muddy 5K benefitting the Tupelo Preparatory
School. 8:30–9:45 a.m. Registration and packet
pickup. 10 a.m. 5K start and 10:45 a.m. Fun Run
start. racesonline.com/events/tupelo-muddy-5k
February 28
New Summit School hosts its 15th Annual
Drawdown in their gym at 1417 Lelia Drive.
6–9 p.m. Live entertainment, heavy hors
d’oeurvres, $5,000 drawdown, and silent
auction. $100 ticket admits two. 601.982.7827
or newsummitschool.com.
February 17
The Orchard church presents
an evening with the renowned
surgeon, scholar, and teacher,
Dr. Ben Carson. Fundraiser for
Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic.
662.841.1517 or
parkgateclinic.com.
February 28
Beth Israel Congregation at 5315 Old Canton
Road presents Jewish Bible Scholar Dr. Joel
Hoffman, author of And God Said lectures “On
the Bible’s Cutting Room Floor.” Learn about
fascinating ancient texts that were cut from the
Bible. Dessert reception follows. 7 p.m. Free
and open to the public. 601.956.6215.
February 28
Covenant Presbyterian Pre-K, 5K and 1-Mile
Fun Run family event begins and ends at
Covenant Presbyterian Church at 4000
Ridgewood Road. Prizes in every
age group. Pre-register at
racesonline.com/events/covenant-pre-k-5k or
Race day registration at 7 a.m. at the church.
601.981.7236 or [email protected].
STARKVILLE
February 28
Chick-fil-A Run/Walk 10K, 5K, and 1 Mile.
Join the Herd and lace up your running shoes
for the Chick-fil-A Connect Race Series. The
race will benefit Palmer Home for Children
and help extend effective, healing help, so that
hurting children can dare to hope, to dream,
and to love again. 6:30–9:30 a.m.
cfaraceseries.com or 662.324.4460.
MERIDIAN
February 6
Béla Fleck & the Knights at the Riley Center
at 7:30 p.m. Tickets $55, $49. Premier banjo
player Béla Fleck is considered one of the
most innovative pickers in the world, playing
everything from traditional bluegrass to
progressive jazz to classical music.
msurileycenter.com.
February 13
The Berenstain Bears Live at the Riley
Center! 7 p.m. Tickets $18, $10. Adapted
from the classic children’s book series by Stan
and Jan Berenstain, this production brings
everyone’s favorite bear family to life in this
colorful musical for the whole family.
msurileycenter.com. Y
mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 45
FEBRUARY 2015
JACKSON
➺quips & quotes
ADVERTISER INDEX
}
{
Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them
around your home for daily encouragement!
✂
Your kingdom is an everlasting
kingdom, and your dominion endures
through all generations. The Lord is
trustworthy in all he promises and
faithful in all he does. The Lord
upholds all those who fall and lifts up
all who are bowed down.
However, it is written:
“No eye has seen, no ear
has heard, no mind has
conceived what God has
prepared for those who
love him.”
–PSALM 145:13-14.
Darkness cannot
drive out darkness;
only light can do
that. Hate cannot
drive out hate; only
love can do that.
– 1 CORINTHIAN 2:9
I will give you a new
heart and put a new
spirit in you; I will
remove from you your
heart of stone and give
you a heart of flesh.
You can give
without loving,
but you can
never love
without giving.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
– Robert Louis Stevenson
Serenity in suffering is a stirring
testimony. Anybody can preach a
sermon on a mount surrounded by
daisies. But only one with a gut full
of faith can live a sermon on a
mountain of pain.
The only way to
understand a
woman is to love
her, and then it
isn’t necessary to
understand her.
The first
duty of
love is to
listen.
– Paul Tillich
– EZEKIEL 36:26
Above all, love
each other deeply,
because love
covers over a
multitude of sins.
– 1 PETER 4:8
Getting over a painful
experience is much like
crossing monkey bars.
You have to let go at
some point in order to
move forward.
– C.S. Lewis
– Max Lucado, No Wonder They Call Him Savior
Children are not casual guests in
our home. They have been loaned
to us temporarily for the purpose
of loving them and instilling a
foundation of values on which
their future lives will be built.
– Dr. James Dobson
The greatest legacy one can
pass on to one's children and
grandchildren is not money or
other material things
accumulated in one's life, but
rather a legacy of character
and faith.
A man can no more
diminish God's glory by
refusing to worship Him
than a lunatic can put
out the sun by scribbling
the word, 'darkness' on
the walls of his cell.
–Billy Graham
– C.S. Lewis
The authority by which the Christian
leader leads is not power but love, not
force but example, not coercion but
reasoned persuasion. Leaders have power,
but power is only safe in the hands of
those who humble themselves to serve.
– John Stott
If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not
together, there is something you must always
remember.You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem, and smarter than you
think! But the most important thing is, even if
we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.
– Christopher Robin in Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne
NORTH STATE
ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL
5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206
Dr. Steven Britt
Dr. Jonathan Faulkner
Dr. Melisa McLendon
Dr. Adrian Whittington
OFFICE HOURS:
Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm
Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm
Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
601-982-8261
Boarding & Grooming Services Available
46 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Catherine McMahan
CHRISTIAN VOCALIST
To purchase CDs, or for more info,
contact [email protected]
or 662.871.5244.
ADVERTISING PARTNERS
PAGE
Baptist Health Systems.............................................33
Belhaven University.....................................................2
Bliss Gift & Home......................................................22
Boy Scouts of America.............................................16
C Spire ..........................................................................3
Capstone Treatment Center....................................11
Covenant Caregivers ..................................................9
Crisis Pregnancy Center - Phil Robertson..............27
Energy Insulation.......................................................32
EyeCare Professionals ..............................................37
First Baptist Jackson.................................................44
First Presbyterian Day School..................................39
Grace Myofascial Clinic............................................31
Grantham Poole Certified Public Accountants.....27
Hartfield Academy....................................................27
Howell, Kyle, & Wynn, PLLC Attorneys at Law.....43
Jackson Academy.....................................................35
Jackson Preparatory School ....................................21
Lamar School.............................................................32
Catherine McMahan, Christian Vocalist .................46
Methodist Senior Services .......................................21
Miskelly Furniture ........................................................7
Mississippi College School of Law..........................17
Mississippi Eye Plastics.............................................35
Mississippi Periodontic Specialists Group..............15
Mississippi Retina Associates...................................41
Modern Woodman Financial...................................40
Moffett Law Firm.......................................................37
MORA ........................................................................29
New Beginnings Adoptions ....................................44
N. State Animal Hospital..........................................46
North Mississippi Allergy & Asthma.......................39
O! How Cute .............................................................33
Parkgate Pregnancy Center ....................................28
Pine Grove Treatment Center ...................................8
Private Collection......................................................30
Ray's Fine Linens.......................................................33
Renasant Bank...........................................................37
Sitters, LLC.................................................................35
Smiles by Design.......................................................17
Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company..41
Southern Bath & Kitchen .........................................21
St. Catherine's Village...............................................48
St. Dominic's..............................................................47
Sta-Home...................................................................12
Stegall Imagery..........................................................42
Summit Counseling ..................................................10
The Orthopedic Institute/Forrest Health ...............13
The Vein Center at Rush ..........................................23
Tinnin Imports..............................................................5
Twin Lakes..................................................................19
Venable Glass Services.............................................39
WHJT Star 93.5.........................................................42
“I feel better than
I’ve felt in
years”
PATRICIA WEST
Tupelo, MS
Our Inspiration... Patsy’s Teaching Legacy
Patsy West was a schoolteacher 32 years. She started having
difficulty keeping up with her students and was feeling weak - even
tired. She discovered she had a very serious heart valve problem
that was slowing her down and causing her breathless fatigue.
This led her to the Mississippi Heart and Vascular Institute at
St. Dominic’s where cardiovascular surgeon, Antoine Keller, MD,
corrected Patsy’s issues. According to Patsy, the surgery had an
almost immediate effect on her energy.
Mississippi Heart and
Vascular Institute
Skilled Hands. Compassionate Hearts.
Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care
C AM PBE L L C OVE I S C E RT I F I ED A S A N A L Z H EI M ER’ S D I SEA SE/D EM ENT I A UN I T
CAMPBELL COVE AT ST. CATHERINE’S VILLAGE
OFFERS MEMORY CARE TO INDIVIDUALS WITH
ALZHEIMER’S AND OTHER FORMS OF DEMENTIA
Secure, homelike environment
Specialized programming with activity focused care
Nurturing staff helping with the activities of daily life
Coming Soon The Hughes Center at Campbell Cove,
an extension of our Memory Care Unit that accommodates individuals
in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s and other dementias.
Call 601-856-0160 for more information
A subsidiary of St. Dominic Health Services
You can count on outstanding care.
3b8±b´´´´œœ®´o±´¼±b¼±b‰bŒ¼
community to be accredited by
CARF-CCAC. This mark of quality
is achieved by fewer than 13% of
retirement communities in America.