Love&Lust These sexy words will make his ears burn. Dirty talk that drives men wild 130 Cosmopolitan / June 2011 COSMOPOLITAN.COM Chris Clinton Guys Uncensored 1. “The alarm clock sounded, and she hit the snooze button. Then she rolled on top of me and said, ‘We’ve got nine minutes. Let’s do this.’ ” —Tom, 26 2. “She looked me up and down and asked, ‘So, why are your clothes still on?’ ” —Andy, 24 3. “A few times, just before I cli- how it’s supposed to feel.’ Emphasis on exactly.” —Peter, 37 13. “ ‘You’re nasty, and I love it!’ ” —Juan, 30 14. “She wanted me to dominate her and kept saying ‘Yes, sir.’ It got me so hot.” 4. “I’d had a long day. She rubbed 5. “She grabbed my face with both hands and said, ‘Oh my god, I just came…and I think it’s going to happen again!’ Hottest thing ever.” —Darrel, 27 6. “I love when a girl gives me little pointers, like ‘To the right’ or ‘Go slower.’ It shows that she’s comfortable with me, it gives me confidence that I’m doing exactly what she wants, and I feel free to give her direction as well.” —Charlie, 24 7. “While we were having sex for By Carolyn Kylstra 12. “She said, ‘That’s exactly maxed, my ex would say, ‘You just got bigger.’ I loved it because it showed that she was really into it and could feel everything that was going on.” —Mike, 27 my shoulders and then whispered: ‘Relax. Lie on your back. Let me take care of you.’ ” —John, 27 We asked men to share the most crotchtingling comments a woman has ever whispered, moaned, or screamed in the heat of the moment. 11. “She told me I was huge… and that she wanted me inside her right now.” —Chris, 18 an extended period of time, she said, ‘I’m going to pass out, I can’t take it!’ ” —Joe, 34 8. “Sometimes, all I need is to hear a woman say my name.” —Cal, 26 9. “A few years ago, I was in a deeply meaningful relationship. One time when we were in the middle of having sex, she looked up at me and whispered, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ That was all it took to take the sex to the next level—it was a type of passion I’d never felt before or since.” —Shea, 24 10. “Very softly, she said, ‘Do me.’ She was a very shy and conservative woman, and the shock value made it incredibly sexy.” —Ashton, 28 —Brandyn, 29 15. “ ‘How about you tie me up?’ ” —Taylor, 23 16. “I tried something new with my hand, and afterward, she said, ‘Holy crap, I’ve never had an orgasm from that before.’ ” —Darrel, 26 17. “I dated a girl from Sweden for a year or so. I had no idea what she was saying half the time during sex, but the fact that it was in Swedish made it very sexy.” —Alex, 31 18. “The hottest, sexiest thing a woman can say to me has always been ‘I’m gonna come.’ It lets me know that I’m takin’ care of business.” —Ray, 37 19. “The sexiest kind of talk isn’t too complicated or dirty. Sometimes, simple is best. If I wanted crazy-dirty talk, I’d just watch porn.” —Eric, 31 20. “I asked my girlfriend what our plans were for later that evening. She said, ‘Well, I’m going to rip off your clothes, use your body like a jungle gym, and ride you like a cowgirl!’ I was so turned on that I had a hard time focusing at work that day.” —Eli, 27 21. “ ‘Ready for round three?’ ” —Zack, 27 22. “She asked, ‘What do you want to do?’ The thing that made it so incredibly hot was that she said it completely eagerly and enthusiastically.” —James, 31 June 2011 / Cosmopolitan 131 24. “ ‘I’ve never felt so comfortable and at ease with someone.’ ” —Gene, 24 28. “ ‘Harder! Harder!’ ” —Ari, 26 29. “She cooked me dinner, and it was delicious. Then she leaned over and whispered in my ear, ‘For dessert, you’re going to eat my cake.’ ” —Derrick, 27 stairs.’ She replied, ‘I don’t care, just keep going.’” —Jarrod, 27 42. “She said, ‘I want to make 33. “The hottest thing a woman has ever said to me in bed is ‘Put it in.’ I used to tease my ex-girlfriend—I would pretend like I was about to penetrate her and then I would pull away, and she’d go absolutely crazy. I loved when she begged for it.” —Ben, 19 43. “She said ‘I need you’ at a point where there was only one thing that she could be talking about needing.” —Kent, 26 34. “I was going down on her, and she said, ‘Use your fingers too.’ ” —Randy, 31 35. “She got naked and told me, ‘This is yours.’ ” —Rudy, 28 36. “I was about to lose my vir- We love it when the guys share naughty details. 25 ‘‘After we had sex, she said, ‘Women would pay you for that!’” 26. “Following a night out, we went back to her place, and she didn’t hold anything back. She brought out her vibrator and told me exactly how she wanted it. It was the best sex I’ve ever had.” —Dane, 23 27. “It was the first time I’d ever gone down on a woman. When I explained this to her, she did a double-take and said, ‘Well, if that’s how you do it the first time, I can’t wait to find out what the second time is like!’ ” —John, 32 —Dan, 31 ginity to a more experienced woman. She gave me a game plan: ‘First, you’re going to go down on me. Then we’re going to do it in missionary position.’ It was very clinical-sounding, but it really turned me on and helped me relax.” —Tim, 31 37. “I was hooking up with a girl for the first time and wondering if we were going to have sex. Then she grabbed my penis and said, ‘I want this inside me.’ I almost melted—it was dirty and exactly what I wanted to hear.” —Sam, 27 38. “Compliments are nice and appreciated, but the biggest turn-on is hearing her shout ‘Yes, yes, yes!’ It’s like applause.” —Steve, 28 you feel good.’ ” —Andy, 24 44. “ ‘Baby, you make me so wet just being around you. It drives me crazy!’ ” —Justin, 29 45. “I was spooning with a new lover, slowly caressing her body and kissing her neck. She whispered, ‘If you keep doing that, I’m going to have to have my way with you.’ ” —Sean, 28 46. “A girl I used to sleep with in college once told me that her legs were shaking right after sex and that when she tried to get up, she could barely walk.” —Dale, 27 47. “ ‘I’ve never been f---ed like that before.’ That made me feel like she’d never forget me.” —Todd, 38 48. “My girl and I had been experimenting with role-playing during sex, but it hadn’t gone very far. Then she shocked me one night by saying this: ‘Unfortunately, the lusty librarian is out today, and if that’s a problem, you’ll just have to take it up with the nymphomaniac nurse.’ ” —-Mike, 26 49. “My girl raves about my penis—she says it fits her perfectly.” —Joseph, 19 30. “My girlfriend texted me 39. “ ‘I think you’re one of the few good guys left.’ I don’t normally hear a lot of compliments like that.” —Alex, 25 31. “She said, ‘That orgasm 40. “I went down on a new girlfriend. Afterward, she pulled me up to her face, kissed me, and said, ‘You are amazing at that.’ ” —Josh, 22 The Worst Words to Come Out of Her Mouth Midbooty 41. “I love dirty talk, but the sexi- Not all pillow talk is dirty in a good way. Eight men dish on some real bonerkilling experiences. from the other room: ‘I’m naked in bed and waiting for you.’ She didn’t have to tell me twice!” —Robert, 29 was so intense, my eyes rolled so far back into my head that I could see my insides!’” —Jim, 28 32. “While we were having sex on the second floor of a bar in New York City, I said, ‘I think someone is coming up the 132 Cosmopolitan / June 2011 est thing a woman can say to me in bed is telling me what she wants or likes. I don’t care if it’s ‘Pull my hair,’ ‘Let me taste you,’ ‘Do me harder,’ or ‘Do a cartwheel.’ It just makes everything better to know what she likes.” —Justin, 31 COSMOPOLITAN.COM Chris Clinton 23. “This turned me on and made me laugh at the same time: ‘Okay, now bend me over and say ahhh!’ ” —Jason, 27 50. “She held my hand against her body and asked, ‘Do you feel how turned on I am?’ ”—Scott, 29 stimulation, and she said, ‘You have the most magical fingers.’ ” 51. “The morning after I hooked 59. “After sex, she turned to me 52. “ ‘You wore me out!’ ” and jokingly whispered, ‘Did we just experience an earthquake?!’ ” —Stephen, 21 —Derrick, 29 like you’re scraping the back of my brain!’—a very encouraging and funny way to tell me I was wellendowed. I loved it.” —Pete, 33 62. “She was lying on top of me, we’d both had crazy orgasms, and we were gasping for breath. She held up her hand for a high five and said, ‘Good game.’ ” —Max, 27 —Casey, 34 54. “After a long sex romp, she looked into my eyes and said ‘Thank you.’ I knew that I had satisfied her and she appreciated my efforts.” —Dan, 28 63. “My phone rang, and when I picked up, she said she was fantasizing about me while touching herself.” —Eric, 31 55. “ ‘I want you so bad, I can’t 64. “My high school crush and I were virgins, and we decided to have sex. I asked if she was sure. She said one word: ‘Absolutely.’ ” see straight.’ ” —Gabe, 24 56. “She made me breakfast in the morning. She said ‘Good morning, babe’ and gave me two egg-and-cheese breakfast sandwiches. I had a boner from here to Africa.” —Jesse, 27 looks so hot during sex.’ I spend a lot of time at the gym, so this was awesome to hear.” —Frank, 29 —Zack, 22 “Right after I hooked up with a girl, she turned to me and said, ‘Wow, I didn’t think you’d be better than your brother!’ I had no idea she’d hooked up with my brother before…and I —Paul, 20 65. “We were joking around, and I was trying to impress her. She rolled her eyes and said, ‘Okay, okay. You’re hilarious and charming. Now take off your pants.’ ” 57. “My girl told me, ‘Your body “During sex with what I thought was a one-night stand, she said, ‘I bet we’d have beautiful babies.’ ” —Joseph, 27 61. “A girl once said to me, ‘It’s wife and I had had sex—either the kids were around or we were busy. Well, we finally got some time alone…and out of nowhere, she straddled me, beat her chest, and made the Tarzan call. Sounds nutty, but it was incredibly hot.” —Bill, 32 60. “ ‘You feel so good inside me.’ ” 53. “It had been a while since my says ‘Kiss me.’ It’s tender and really hot at the same time.” —Travis, 24 up with a woman who I thought was way out of my league, she left me a note that read, ‘I must see you again.’ That made me feel awesome.” —Sammy, 35 67 ‘‘I always love when a girl 58. “I got her off with manual —Drew, 26 66. “ ‘Baby, that’s the spot!’ ” —Joel, 22 didn’t really want to know how I compared either!” —Joe, 25 “The worst was when she asked, with disappointment, ‘You’re done already?’ ” —Tony, 25 “She looked deep into my eyes and said, ‘Oh, by the way…I was a virgin.’ ” —David, 28 68. “My girlfriend shouted out, ‘F--- me harder!’ She never uses the F word, so that instantly sent me over the edge.” —Chris, 36 73. “She cupped my balls in her hands and said, ‘God, I love these things.’ It was weirdly hot.” 69. “For me, too much talking during sex is a turn-off. That said, though, spontaneous and unexpected phrases can be a turn-on—like ‘Strip now,’ ‘Take off your clothes’ and ‘Lick me.’ ” 74. “ Whatever you’re doing down there, don’t stop!’ ” —Frank, 21 —Noah, 19 —Tim, 23 75. “A girl I’d been casually sleeping with went on a date with another guy…and then came to my bed. She said, ‘All I could think about was coming back and being with you.’ Wow.” —Marc, 31 71. “We were role-playing: I was 76. “She took one look at my —Marco, 35 70. “ ‘Pull my hair.’ ” the teacher, and she was the student. She had been sent to ‘detention,’ and I was scolding her and asking myself out loud what I should do with her. She said, ‘I think I deserve a spanking.’ ” —Zack, 22 72. “The girl I was sleeping with said she’d never had an orgasm before. So when she screamed out, ‘It’s finally happening! Keep going! Keep going!’ I felt like a sex god.” —Steven, 24 “I hate when women ask me to choke them. I’m all for a little kink, but that’s too much.” —Sam, 22 “This one completely threw off my game: ‘Take me to your leader, Mr. Alien Spaceman.’ ” —A.J., 22 “She was a very new girlfriend, and she said, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’ erection and exclaimed, ‘Lucky me!’ ” —David, 28 77. “I’d been dating a girl for a while, but we hadn’t had sex yet. We were making out, and she was on top of me. Suddenly, she stopped, looked me in the eye, and said, ‘I’m ready.’ The way she said it and looked at me, I knew the night would be amazing.” —Jake, 23 78. “ ‘Should we invite her to join us?’ ” —David, 30 while climaxing. When I didn’t say anything back, she said, ‘Where is this relationship going, Chris?’ It was our second date! ” —Chris, 30 “I was in college and had a hard time lasting during sex. One time, my girlfriend told me to keep going, and I said I was going to come… and she shouted, ‘Think of your mother!’ ” —Dave, 28 June 2011 / Cosmopolitan 133