Dirty Sanchez is good for your complexion..
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Special Note to the new update: I got hundreds of emails and additions to the list. I apologize for not
being able to post them all (some were duplicates).I will try to put up a thanks page for all of your
wonderful additions. I haven't laughed this hard since my dog mistook my sister for a fire hydrant..
-Bunt
*this site is intended for people over the age of 18. if you are under that age, please go
here.
HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRLFRIEND
These are techniques that have been sent to me by various Buntheads. I want to again stress that in
no way do we condone the techniques listed here or practice these. Except maybe the Turkey Shoot
and the Rear Admiral. And definitely the Spicey Stanley.
Here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed before, during and after the act of sex:
1. Tea bag - As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your scrotum in and out of her mouth,
similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot water. An old favorite.
2. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you shit on her chest. (a.k.a. the Cleveland
Steamer)
3. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a
hand job from someone else.
4. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in
her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it
to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
5. Golden Shower - Any form of peeing on a girl. (aka: watersports)
6. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl, it takes on
the look of beautiful jewelry.
7. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty skank and you know you've got to
give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must
gnaw off your own arm to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.
8. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis
in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple
mushroom.
9. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her
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from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then
to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.
10. Double Fishhook - From the doggy-style position, you hook your pinky fingers in her mouth and
pull back to achieve deeper penetration.
11. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall
in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those
lulls in penile sensitivity.
12. Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's
ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
13. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when
she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This
gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
14. Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out
to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
15. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a
madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all
over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
16. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down on her, you puke
on her box. Happy trails!
17. Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2 fingers deep into her starfish, then
reach around and wipe the residue on her upper lip, providing her a mustache.
18. Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you.
It is the same grip that rodeo folks use; hence, western.
19. The Blumpkin - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her suck you off
while you're on the shitter.
20. The Bismark - Another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to spew, pull out and
shoot all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and jism together.
21. Jelly Doughnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while
you are getting head.
22. Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking on your balls, repeatedly tap the head of your cock
on her forehead.
23. Tossing salad - Well known by now. A prison act where one person is forced to chow starfish with
the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jello, jism, etc
24. The Fish Eye - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her pooper. Thereupon, she turns
around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.
25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover that it's her time of the
month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry
smothers your face.
26. The Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty Zena who has a mane between her legs the
size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat. You punch her.
27. The Chili Dog - You take a dump on the girl's chest and then titty fuck her.
28. Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous
knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles
required (either on one finger or on multiple).
29. The Rear Admiral - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (with both partners
standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips
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into her backside so that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or
table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push her
around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
30. Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and taking a dump.
31. Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You're can is on her forehead.
Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.
32. The Snowmobile - When plugging a girl while she's on all fours, reach around and sweep out her
arms so she falls on her face.
33. The Dutch Oven - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull the covers over her
head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.
34. Smoking Pole - Self Explanatory. Don't use fire.
35. Rusty Trombone - Getting the reacharound while getting your salad tossed. Also known as
milking the prostate.
36. Turkey Shoot - When you're coming, come on her face and let it drip off her chin so it looks like
that red shit on the turkey's chin.
37. Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.
38. Rusty Anchor - After a healthy term of the Stovepiping, the recipient gets to enjoy a good
fudgesicle.
39. Sandpiper - A stovepiping on the local beach, desert, or playground sandbox. Also known as the
Sandblast.
40. Lucky Pierre - the middle man in a three way buttfuck. Also known as the french sandwich.
41.Divortex- A mystical place into which old friends are sucked when a married couple splits up.
42.Blump - To suck someone's dick while they are taking a dump.
43.Bustard- A very rude bus driver.
44.Cold Faithful- Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the winter-time, like when you get your
cock sucked on a ski-lift.
45.Grand pappy smash- To beat your meat so hardcore that it starts to chafe and bleed.
46.Esplanade- To attempt an explanation while drunk.
47.Flatulence- The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
48.Butt Rodeo- When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over real fast, start ramming her in the
ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she
tosses ya off!
49.Bargoyle- The hideous old hair-spray hag who seems to live at your local watering hole. She
usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of dollars a night on video-poker, and makes sexually
threatening comments to frightened college freshmen.
50.Pasteurize- Once you get her hairy bush pasteurize, you got it licked!
51.Beerelevant- A point which does not seem to be particularly important, given enough beer
52.Mangry- Describing the anger of women who are angry at men, specifically. "She's such a bitch,
she's just plain mangry."
53.Clitourist- A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie: "Because of his fouled foreplay,
Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."
54.Stuffucking- The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes of getting it up. Potential
causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly. (see also; Fugly)
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55.Antlers- Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at the nipples.
56. The Kangmin - while a girl is reciting bad poetry, you take her from behind.
57.The Flaming Amazon- This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some
chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on
fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz!
58.The Screwnicorn -When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her
partner like a crazed unicorn.
59.Split pissonality -When you're taking a leak and you get two streams out of the one hole!
60.A Short in the Cord- A "code" phrase used by the common man to refer to Testicular Tendon
Tangle Syndrome. Ex. "Oh fuck! My nuts are killing me... I think I've got a short in the cord."
61.Old Jism Trail -The stream of semen oozing down the chin and chest of someone who has just
finished fellating a senior citizen.
62.Abdicate -To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
63.Lymph -To walk with a lisp.
64.Anal Boot- An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it
with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of
the loser of a bet or drinking game.
65.Australian Death Grip- The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch and staring deeply
into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another
great opportunity for wagering among friends.
66.Fumilingus -When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she farts directly in
his/her face.
67.Intoxicourse- Having sexual intercourse whilst piss -drunk.
68.Valsalva -The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving
fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing
swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the
stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.
69.Insta-gasm -Pre-mature ejaculation at the sight of a beautiful woman. ie: "She was so fine, I had
an insta-gasm before I could get her clothes off!"
70.Manual Deconstipation -This is where you get out the hand cream and go in manually for the
hammerhead by breaking it into smaller chunks and pulling it out a piece at a time.
71.Post Poodum Syndrome -The feeling of depression felt after successful removal of a
hammerhead. The excitement has passed, and you must now find something else to occupy your
time.
72.The Homolic Maneuver -Using your penis to dislodge an object blocking a choking victim's
windpipe.
73.Pegging - having a female take you in the rear with a strap on.
74. The UnderDog - after a hard session at the gym, your armpit muscle begins to twitch; thus giving
you the ability to jerk a guy off with your armpit muscle.
75. The Twinkler - when you are 69ing a girl and you shove your dick into mouth hard, and you watch
her a-hole "twinkle" as she gags.
76. Angry dragon - This involves the girl giving the guy head and as he is about to cum slapping the
girl on the back of the head causing the cum to come out her nose. Great care should be used to not
slap her mouth shut.
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77. Tony Danza - a takeoff of the donkey punch is called the Tony Danza. When you are about to cum
while doing a girl from behind, you say "who's the boss?" and stick it in her ass. Before she says
anything you shout "TONY DANZA!" and punch her in the back of the head.
78. Alaskan firedragon - another good take off is one of the angry dragon that is called the alaskan
firedragon. When a girl is giving you a blowjob, cum in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth
at the same time. Then whisper in her ear "i have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose.
79. The Walrus - when she's giving u a blowjob and u cum in her mouth unexpectadly, cover up her
mouth and punch her in the stomach.
80. The Fat Lip - If you get poison ivy and finger a girl, her labia lips will swell. A la, the fat lip.
81. Sleeping Bag - If you're going down on a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat
over your head.
82. Hummer Bird - when a girl is giving a guy a hummer, and he's enjoying it, she bites on his bird.
83. Bloody Mary - when a drunk guy is going down on a girl and without even realizing it after he's
done, he realizes Mary was very Bloody
84. The Houdini - this maneuver is accomplished while going at it doggy style. As you feel you are
about to cum, you pull out and spit on the small of her back (making her think you've finished...). It's at
the point when she turns around when *BAM!* You bust your load in her face (in the eye if you've got
proper aiming techniques down.) Also known as the Doug Hennings and the David Copperfield.
85. Upperdecking - This one takes practice. This maneuver requires a toilet with a tank above it, like
the ones in most homes. Instead of crapping in the bowl, you shit in the tank (i.e. upperdecking). Now
don't flush. When the following victim flushes, the rancid waste fills the bowl. If you play your cards
right, it may ferment
86. Journey into darkness - This is the most disturbing of all. It entails shitting into another person's
asshole. Not for beginners.
87. Rocky Balboa - dont shower for 2 weeks, then diarrhea down her throat at any point during sexual
contact.
88. Rocky Balboa Title Punch - same as the Rocky Balboa, but in that non-showering 2 weeks all
you eat is corn.
I don't usually do this, but I have to give credit to Sascha and Zach for the next 2. I'm only doing this
because they are my bosses kids...
89. The McDonald's Quick Draw - Get your girlfriend to talk dirty into the intercom, making the order
guy start to beat off. Then while pulling up to the window, have her give you falatio till you are about to
blow your beefy chunk-load. Upon pulling up to the window, tell your girl friend to yell "Draw!". Then on
"three", both you and the guy blow your loads either on her or eachother.
90. Uncle Jemima - the typical dirty chef at your local Denny's or other low-class food establishment
who occasionally becomes disgruntled, and takes out his frustration on your meal, via "the ass wipe"
or the "French Toast Strut" seen in Road Trip.
91. Airtight - this is where a girl has a cock in each of her three holes, hence, airtight.
92. The Throne of Lightning - This is done by fucking a girl while you shit in a toilet. When you're
going to blow your load, turn her over and dunk her head in the toilet, while she's bobbing for your turd
plummet a river of semen in her ass. Not to be confused with "Ride the Lightning," a Metallica album
93. Abe Lincoln - You're getting a girl up the ass and give her a swift donkey punch to the back of her
head, knocking her unconscious. You then turn her around and jerk off and blow your load all over her
face. Then you shave her beaver and take the clippings and spread it where you jizzed on her, making
a beard that looks like good ol Honest Abe's.
94. Thanksgiving - Just like the holiday, Thanksgiving is when you do a girl and then she puts her two
big butt cheeks on your face like holiday hams. An overcooked thanksgiving is similar to this but
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instead of just putting the cheeks on your head she farts on it too.
95. PEUM - An acronym coined by a group of drunk assholes that defines the annoying (and
uncontrollable) tendency to piss in multiple directions after a raucous fuck: Post-Ejaculatory Urinary
Misfire.
96. The Beverly Hills Whiffer -This move is restricted to those women who think they're God's gift to
the world. Find a woman of the above description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When
you're about to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, scraping as much shit as you can from her.
Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick one finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so
she can see you while you yell "So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"
97. Shanghai Shampoo - Fuck a chick until you've built up a load large enough to paint a room. Blow
it all in her hair, rub it in thoroughly. When it dries it will resemble the crunchy noodles often served
with chop suey.
98 . Frosting the Cake - When you are about to cum, blow a load all over her chest. Then take your
dick and evenly spread the Jism around the breasts and over the nipples. Then stick some candles on
it and start singing "Happy Birthday." Then blow out the candles
99. Spicey Stanley - When a girl takes hot sauce and pours it on your cock. She then proceeds to
give you a blowjob, making sure all of the hot sauce is gone.
100.The Brodieruption - while a girl is speaking loe genitalese to you, right before you shoot soul
sauce down her gullet, rip ass right in her face, á la brodie and renee, in mallrats.
101.Toboggan - when you attack from behind on your partner, push them and then ride them down
the stairs like a tobaggon sled.
102.Snowball - this is after your partner gives you head and then when you cum in her mouth she
attempts to make out with you.
103.Dirty Snowball - this is of the original snowball but instead of her trying to make out with you, she
makes out with someone else.(This gives you negative points in a Sex point scale Game)
104.Golf - this is when you are eating out a girl and then grab her pubic hair and yank it and yell
"FORE" please send me a message so that i know you got these. thanks again and hope to see these
on your new lists..
105.Milking The Cow - Have sex with a girl with a rubber on, then afterwards pull the rubber off ever
so carefully so that all of your specimens are in the bottom then while laying down after sex hold it
upside down over her face and use the condom while pretend your milking cow utters.
106. The Pirate Maker - When your sitting on a girls face and she's sucking on your nuts, you start
poking her in the eye with your cock.
107.Spanish Inquisition - This is kind of like the Snowmobile. While fucking a woman in the ass, grab
her arms and bring them up behind her, arching her back. Then yell, "Nobody Expects the Spanish
Inquisition." For some variation, add a donkey punch.
108. The Volcano - Blow your load on someone's ass crack. Then wait for them to fart and cause the
cum to spurt out.
109. Corn Flakes - This requires a really dirty partner. When you're about to cum, shoot it in her ear. If
she's dirty enough, she'll have plenty of ear wax. Hopefully, the ear wax will float atop the semen. With
the correct coloration, her ear will look like a bowl of milk and cereal.
110. Ali - When give a guy a hummer, start punching his nutsack as if it were a punching bag.
111. The Lloyd Bridges - When she's giving the head job and you're just about to blow, twitch and
yell "Who is it?" She will look around. Blow in her ear. She will look confused, and will jerk her head
repeatedly to one side, just like Lloyd Bridges did to get the seawater out of his ear in Sea Hunt. (For
those too young to remember, he was a crime-busting scuba diver).
112. The Triple Crown of Sex - In the yapper, the snapper and the crapper all in the same session.
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UPDATED!!!! NEW LISTINGS!!!!
113. Tombstone 69 - while having standing 69 with her upside down, wait till you cheeze then exclaim
"tombstone" and drop her on her head WWF style. With any luck she will proceed to expell "angry
dragon" style as well because of the impact. Important note: make sure your dick is not in her mouth
anymore when you tombstone her
114. Shanghai Stirfry - when a girl gives you a blowjob, pukes all over your cock and keeps going.
115. A Hot Carl - when you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into
her mouth for a cleaning. (note: we all thought this one was only for 2 guys...)
116. The Halmstad Hook - This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden,
where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is
sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the
product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the
"Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with
a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.
117. Give a Cat a Bath - the act of trying to insert your testicle into a girls asshole, this is very hard to
do, hence "give a cat a bath"
118. Ralph Malph - puke all up in her snatch while munching her box.
119. Breakfast at Tiffany's - the act of eating a soft-boiled egg from your girl's pussy.
120.Karen Carpenter - fucking a chick in the ass while she vomits. Feels a lot like a multi-donkey
punch.
121. The Mushroom Tattoo (aka Mushroom Welt/print) - when a chick's going down on you, you
pull it out, pull it back and whip her in the forehead with it....thus....mushroom tattoo
122. Squeegee - when your fucking a girl in the ass, when your about to cum, you stick a pin in one of
her ass cheeks, thus making her clench up and cleaning all the shit off your cock as you pull out at the
same time.
123. Cunt Trumpet - While down on a chick, place your lips solidly over her love hole and blow, watch
her stomach rise as she fills with air. Then, with a firm hand push down on her stomach to let all the air
out like the beautiful sound of a trumpet
124. Rodeo Fuck - When you are doing your girl doggystyle, bend over and whisper in her ear, "your
almost as good a lay as your sister..." Then try to hold on for 8 seconds.
125. Seal the Envelope - When hooking up with a really drunk girl and she passes out before you
cum, turn her over and blow your load all over her ass crack. When it drys, it will seal her butt cheeks
together and she will have to pry them open the next day - hence, sealing the envelope
126. The Shocker (aka The Alien) - Two in the Pink and one in the Stink
127. Louisville Slugger - Your girl is on her knees in front of you servicing your pole. At some random
point in time during this act you pull out, twist your hips, yell "BATTER UP!!!!" and smack her firmly in
the cheek with your baseball bat like cock.
128. Wet Jessy - Sneak into a girls bedrooms while she's sleeping and Jack Off on her.
129. Pearl Harbor (for the ladies) - Right after sucking a guy off stand up and spit his jizz right back
in his face, then yell "Tora, Tora, Tora!"
130. The Mumbler - A girl in pants that are too tight (you can see the lips moving but you can't make
out what they're saying).
131. The Gardener - when you are doing a girl from behind, you pause and yank the hairs(weeds)
from her asshole, then you proceed to "sow your seed" by cumming on her anus.
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132. The Wheelbarrow - Man and woman are going at it doggystyle on the floor, then the man grabs
the woman's legs and stands up, leaving the woman's arms on the ground, and starts running around
the room, continuing to bang away...
IF YOU ENJOY "THE LIST" AND WISH TO SEE MERCHANDISE
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*special thanks to:
Tha Captain ;-0
Wow I get a lot of Canadians! Dan Allouette,,Kaylan and Guz, JoeL, Matt and Gunner, Mike Myers, Scott P, Dave, steve, xpetex,
DJ MADIGAN,Gabe and Adam ,dj xstatk Amanda,Aaron Kipnis, Jared Sanson, Adam E, Darin G, Fropik and anyone else
involved in the constant updating of "The List." Should you have any suggestions or additions to the list, please email bunt .
Thanks and please use these only if you are with someone who is consenting..
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( about ) ( contact ) version 3.14 copyright 2001 bunthaus industries incorporated
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