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July, 2013
Tips on how to have a peaceful
household this summer
This newsletter is produced for the resource
families in our program
and all those interested
in the welfare of our children. If you have comments or suggestions,
please contact us.
ICW Mission Statement
Remembering our past,
protecting the present and
securing our future for generations to come by providing an array of protective,
supportive and child focused services to families
needing assistance in
maintaining a self sufficient
and healthy environment.
Inside this issue:
Make your own ice
cream
2
Origin of Disease &
Medicine
3
Important Tick Info.
4
Online Training Info.
5
Say What
7
Swimming Pool Safety
7
Announcements
8
Why are our children often at each other's throats in
the summer? The biggest cause of fighting during the
long summer break is the fact that you're spending a
whole lot of time together. If external stresses increase--if there's trouble at work, a bad break-up for
one of your teens, or unexpected problems with
birth families, to name a few--so does the tension
inside your house. We all start to feel boxed in when
this happens, and it's easy to lose your temper at
moments like these. Your children begin to act out,
too, the typical pattern of name-calling, teasing, criticizing and bossing each other around increases until
the atmosphere is thick with everyone's annoyance
and bad feelings.
can come back, we can talk about this in a calm way
and work things out."
Here are some tips on changing your atmosphere if you find you're consistently getting on
each other's nerves during the summer.
You'll have a much better response if you can stop
and think, "How can I best respond to this? How
will I get a better result?" That doesn't mean you will
do it , it just means that you are going to be the
person you want to be if you looked in the mirror-no matter how your children are behaving.
1. Stop, breathe, and do not react.
Don't respond until you've given yourself a moment
to pause and think about what you want to say. You
do not have to respond to your children just because
they're yelling at you or others. You always have a
choice on how you respond to their behavior. You
don't have to go to their level and scream or slam
doors. As James Lehman says, "You don't have to
attend every fight you're invited to." It is hard when
your children get in your face. Sometimes the natural
reaction would be to reciprocate, or issue ineffective
ultimatums, like "You're grounded for the summer."
So take those few seconds to pause and think. Take a
time out if you need one--and above all, don't sink to
your child's level of immature communication if at all
possible.
2. Respond with a question rather than a snap
judgment.
Instead of screaming back at your child, breathe and
pause, say to yourself, "What's going on here? What's
a better way for me to respond?" Something you
could say, "Let's come back to this discussion once
everybody calms down. We're not going there right
now because nothing good is going to come out of
the conversation when everyone's upset. When you
3. Make a conscious decision to change.
You, the parent, have to make a conscious decision
that this summer is not going to be a constant fight
with your child. if you don't want it to be about arguing and fighting, then you have a role to play in
making that happen. That means you're not trying to
control your child and tell him how to be--rather,
you're deciding how you're going to be. Take a position of responsibility around how you're going to
act. If you are upset and just go with the knee jerk
reaction, that's not taking charge of yourself.
You might be saying to yourself, "How can I do thid?
It's impossible; I can't." Give yourself a chance to try
a new perspective, you might be surprised at what a
difference it makes when you commit to being the
calm person in response to ones who are upset.
4. Get on the roof and get a perspective.
Recognize how you react when you feel closed in,
then try doing things a new way. "Instead of hitting
the roof, head for the roof." What that means is
when things get too crazy, imagine taking yourself
out of the situation by going up onto your roof
(figuratively speaking). Look down at your children
and your family--and all your reactions to each
other. Try to really see more objectively what's going on. What are the patterns in your family that
might be contributing to the fighting? Once you understand your own part of the dance, you are much
closer to a peaceful home life. When you can
change your part of the pattern, others in your family might step up and follow your lead.
Story continued on Pg. 2
Page 2
July, 2013
Continued from pg. 1
For example, you'll see teenagers in particular constantly provoking fights with their parents. They are at the age
where they feel the need to assert their independence Your job is to not react and feed that part of your child.
Give him or her appropriate attention, but don't indulge in screaming matches because then they're just going to
keep coming back for more.
Sibling Fighting
If you find your children are fighting all summer, it's possible they don't have enough time away from each other and
need more structure in their days. When they're bored and there is nothing to do, understand that it's also an activity to pick on their brother or sister--and to get some reaction from you. Part of it is that your children want a
reaction from you because, again, it keeps them connected to you--even if it's negative attention.
You can't stop your children from arguing, but you can influence them to argue less. Make it one of your goals to
structure things more. Try to make sure they have some time away from each other. Work to manage time a little
better so your children are not fighting each other all the time--that in itself will help. Older teens could possibly
get a part-time job, and younger children could sign up for a day camp, for example.
If what they're doing is just typical sibling bickering, you as the parent need to decide when you should intervene.
This might be an opportunity for your children to learn how to cooperate with each other. You can say things like,
You guys need to solve this problem if you want to…. (whatever activity they enjoy) So in this way, your children
are motivated to solve their own problems because they're not going to have access to something if they don't.
You can also say, "You guys can keep discussing your solution but please keep your voices down, I don’t like so
much noise.” You're not giving them negative attention and you're not getting into their triangle. This can happen,
especially when one wants you side with them against their sibling, which will ultimately cause real sibling hostility if
it continues to happen. It could make one child feel like, "Mom always favored my brother over me." Don't take
sides, because when you do, you create an “odd-man-out situation”.
Remember, this is a good time to help your children figure out how to work things out together and let them know
they will have consequences if their fighting continues un-resolved.
Is It Possible to Have a Peaceful Summer?
It is absolutely possible to have a peaceful summer, and you do that by taking control of how you want things to go.
You have control--even if the only thing you have control over is yourself. It's not dependent on how your children
are--it's how you decide to be. If you are trying to control your child, be prepared, you probably will have a lousy
summer. One other suggestion is to make a list of what you will commit yourself to do and not to do to make
sure the summer break is peaceful. Write down your own bottom lines and the structures you're going to create.
Remember, you have a choice as to how you act and interact with others. Who knows, you might influence your
children to be more responsible for their actions and reactions.
HOME MADE ICE CREAM
Materials Needed:
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1 Tbsp Sugar
1/2 Cup Half-n-Half
1/4 tsp Vanilla
1/2 Cup Rock Salt
Ice
1 Pint Size Ziploc Bag
1 Gallon Size Ziploc Bag
Instructions:
Combine the sugar, half-n-half, and vanilla in the pint size ziploc
bag and seal tightly. Combine the ice and rock salt in the large
ziploc bag. Place the small bag inside of the larger bag and seal.
Shake the bag until the mixture turns into ice cream! This will
take about 5 minutes. (You may want to wear gloves.) Add sprinkles, candy, nuts, or fruit. You can also add chocolate or caramel
syrup to change the flavor. The possibilities are endless.
July, 2013
Page 3
The Origins of Disease and Medicine
Long ago the humans and the animals got along fine. All the peoples, human and animal, could communicate with each other
and were at peace. The animals of that long-ago time was much larger than the animals of today. Indeed, the animals of today
are but shadows of those who once were.
There came a time when we humans forgot our place and broke the harmony. We humans began to reproduce at an alarming
rate, and we gave ourselves to the production of all sorts of weapons meant for the destruction of the animals: spears and atlatls,
bows and arrows, blowguns and traps of all kinds. We began to hunt, not just for food, but simply for the fun of killing. We humans also killed many animals just by pure carelessness, never stopping to think of the results of our actions. Even as we walked
from place to place, we were not careful where we stepped, so that many of the tiny many-legged and legless ones were crushed
to death or maimed. Some humans went so far as to purposely kill little animals merely from a feeling of disgust or loathing, going out of their way to step on a bug or squash a harmless spider. It was clear that we humans believed ourselves to be the only
ones who mattered in all creation, and as we continued clearing land and building our cities; it looked as if there would soon be
no more room for anyone else to live in the earth.
The animals decided something had to be done about this human problem. The bears met separately from the other animals.
The Great White Bear, presiding at the council asked, “What’s the problem?”
“It’s these humans; they kill us indiscriminately.”
“How do they kill us?”
“With bows and arrows.”
“Of what are their bows made?”
“The bow of locust wood and the bowstring of our guts.”
The bears decided they would make bows of their won with which to kill the humans. They got some locust wood, and one of the
bears sacrificed himself to give material for the bowstring. When the bow was finished and arrows were made, one of the bears
stood up to shoot. He could pull the string, but releasing it was a problem. His long claws would get hung and throw him off target. The other bears, ducking his wild arrows, cried out, “Stop, stop. Something must be done. We’ll cut our claws.”
“Wait!” said the Great White Bear. “How is it that we bears make our living?”
“By climbing trees to get honey and by ripping open rotten logs to find insects and by digging in the earth for rodents and by
catching fish.”
“How do we do all these things?”
“With our long claws.”
The bears understood that if they cut their claws they could no longer make a living as bears and would starve to death. The idea
to hunt the humans with bows and arrows was scrapped, and they never came up with another solution.
All the other animals came together in a joint council to discuss the human problem. The Grub worm presided at the council.
After all, it was his people, the little creeping and crawling peoples of the earth, who had suffered most from the actions of the
humans. The animals all sat in a circle. The talking stick was passed, giving each an opportunity to speak. The Toad said,
“Something must be done. These humans despise me. They are forever kicking me or throwing things at me, because they think
I am ugly. Just look at all the bumps they’ve put on my back!”
One of the little birds rose and said, “Although I’m too small to provide much meat, their little boys kill my people and roast us
over the fire until our feathers and feet are burned off.” One after the other, the animals spoke of atrocities committed by the
humans. The only one with nothing to say against the humans was the little chipmunk, who was too small to be hunted for food
and too quick to be stepped on. When he spoke in defense of the humans, the other animals jumped on him and gave him such a
scratching down his back that the stripes are there to this day!
Once it was established that something must be done about the humans in order to save the rest of creation, the floor was open
for discussion of what to do. It was finally decided that each of the animal peoples would come up with at least one disease with
which to inflict the humans, in order to kill most of them and to teach the rest some respect. Various animals attending the
council agreed to come up with every sort of ailment from cancer to p.m.s. When the Grub worm heard this last one, he
laughed so hard he fell over backwards and has been crawling around like that ever since . So, all the animals went their separate
ways to meet in council, each with their own kind, to work out the details of what they would do. The deer met in council, with
their chief, Little Deer, presiding. The deer understood the humans to be a pitiful and needy people who live only by the deaths
of others. For this reason, the deer decided to allow the humans to continue killing some deer each year, but only what is needed
Page 4
July, 2013
Origins and Disease continued from Pg. 3
for food, NEVER FOR SPORT. Furthermore, a human hunter, upon killing a deer, is required to show respect for the spirit
of the deer by begging the deer’s pardon and making a proper tobacco offering. And so, Little Deer, the chief
and adawehi of all the deer will come. Swiftly and invisibly he will come to the place where the deer has died. Gently he will
bend down over the blood. In a whisper, he will ask the spirit of the slain deer, “Did this hunter treat you with respect?”
Did he beg your pardon? Did he offer tobacco?”
If the answer is, “Yes,” all is well, and Little Deer will go on his way. But if the answer is, “No,” Little Deer will track that
hunter to his home. There Little Deer will strike that hunter with rheumatism, that he may never hunt again!
Word was sent to the human people, and we Cherokees have not forgotten this treaty with the deer.
And so, many diseases came into the earth. Many people died. For a while, it looked as though maybe no humans would
survive in the earth. The great cities were forgotten and fell into ruin.
The plant peoples who saw all of this, also elected to come together and meet in council. Deciding to take pity on us humans, each plant agreed to give of itself to provide medicine for a least one human disease or ailment. All we humans had
to do was ask in a respectful way.
The above story was provided by ICW staff member, Bette Nelson
Important Tick information
It’s that time of year when everyone cannot wait to get into the Great Outdoors and with that, there are
certain precations you should take to secure your chance of contracting a tick-borne disease. Reduce
your chances by using repellents, checking for ticks, and showering after being outdoors. If you have a
tick bite followed by a fever or rash, seek medical attention.
Gardening, camping, hiking, and playing outdoors – when enjoying these activities, don't forget to take steps to prevent
bites from ticks that share the outdoors. Ticks can infect humans with bacteria, viruses, and parasites that can cause serious illness. Diseases that you can get from a tick bite include:
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Anaplasmosis
Babesiosis
Ehrlichiosis
Lyme disease
Rocky Mountain spotted fever
Southern tick-associated rash illness
Tick-borne relapsing fever
Tularemia
Other diseases that you can get from a tick in the United States include Colorado tick fever and Powassan encephalitis.
Before You Go Outdoors
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Know where to expect ticks. Ticks live in moist and humid environments, particularly in or near wooded or
grassy areas. You may come into contact with ticks during outdoor activities around your home or when walking through leaf litter or near shrubs. Always walk in the center of trails in order to avoid contact with ticks.
Products containing permethrin kill ticks. Permethrin can be used to treat boots, clothing and camping gear and
remain protective through several washings.
Use a repellent with DEET on skin. Repellents containing 20% or more DEET (N, N-diethyl-m-toluamide) can
protect up to several hours. Always follow product instructions. Parents should apply this product to their children, avoiding the hands, eyes, and mouth. For detailed information about using DEET on children, see recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics .
For detailed information about tick prevention and control, see Avoiding Ticks. Detailed information for outdoor workers can be found at NIOSH Safety and Health Topic: Tick-borne Diseases.
July, 2013
Page 6
After You Come Indoors:
Check your clothing for ticks. Ticks may be carried into the house on clothing. Any ticks that are found should
be removed. Placing clothes into a dryer on high heat for at least an hour effectively kills ticks.
Shower soon after being outdoors. Showering within two hours of coming indoors has been shown to reduce
your risk of getting Lyme disease. Showering may help wash off unattached ticks and it is a good opportunity to do
a tick check.
Check your body for ticks after being outdoors. Conduct a full body check upon return from potentially tick-infested
areas, which even includes your back yard. Use a hand-held or full-length mirror to view all parts of your body. Check these
parts of your body and your child's body for ticks:
 Under the arms
 In and around the ears
 Inside belly button
 Back of the knees
 In and around the hair
 Between the legs
 Around the waist
What to Do if You Find an Attached Tick
Remove the attached tick as soon as you notice it by grasping with tweezers, as close to the skin as possible, and pulling it
straight out. For detailed information about tick removal, see information below.
Watch for signs of illness such as rash or fever in the days and weeks following the bite, and see a health care provider if these
develop. Your risk of acquiring a tick-borne illness depends on many factors, including where you live, what type of tick bit
you, and how long the tick was attached. If you become ill after a tick bite, see a health care provider.
If you find a tick attached to your skin, there's no need to panic. There are several tick removal devices on the market, but a
plain set of fine-tipped tweezers will remove a tick quite effectively.
How to remove a tick
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Use fine-tipped tweezers to grasp the tick as close to the skin's surface as possible.
Pull upward with steady, even pressure. Don't twist or jerk the tick; this can cause the mouth-parts to break off and
remain in the skin. If this happens, remove the mouth-parts with tweezers. If you are unable to remove the mouth
easily with clean tweezers, leave it alone and let the skin heal.
After removing the tick, thoroughly clean the bite area and your hands with rubbing alcohol, an iodine scrub, or soap
and water.
Avoid folklore remedies such as "painting" the tick with nail polish or petroleum jelly, or using heat to make the tick
detach from the skin. Your goal is to remove the tick as quickly as possible--not waiting for it to detach.
Follow-up
If you develop a rash or fever within several weeks of removing a tick, see your doctor. Be sure to tell the doctor about your
recent tick bite, when the bite occurred, and where you most likely acquired the tick.
July, 2013
Page 5
*** If you have recently attempted to log in to Foster Parent College and were unable to, please note: there have been
technical issues with issuing passwords via the National Resource Center for Youth Services. Please check the email account you registered with to find the information with your password to login to Foster Parent College and start your
training. If you still are having problems with logging in, please call Sally Wilson at: 918-316-4595 or you may e-mail
her at: [email protected]. ***
On-line training is a quick and convenient way for Chero-
kee Nation resource parents to earn some of the 12 credits of in-service training which are required each year.
Continuing education is important to resource parents in
order to learn and grow in their work with the children
and young people in their home.
In order to make it easier for resource parents to complete their annual training requirement, OKDHS and
Cherokee Nation have teamed up to provided 12 prepaid in-service credits at Foster Parent College for each
resource parent. (One Foster Parent College “training
unit” is worth two “in-service training credits”.)
Most Foster Parent College courses are interactive, interesting, and only take about 45 minutes to view. (Courses
that offer more credit will take more time.) Most courses
are worth 2 in-service training credits. Courses that require more “training units” provide more “in-service
training credit”. You may select courses using up to 6
“training units” at no charge. If you choose to order more
courses in a year, you can pay for those additional courses
on your credit card.
After viewing the course, participants can send a certificate documenting their completion directly to their Certification worker via e-mail, and then print a copy of their
certificate for their own records.
Before choosing your first course, you will need to register
for this free training opportunity.
You can register at:
http://www.nrcys.ou.edu/programs/rft/training_reg.php
Once you fill out the registration form and submit it you
will receive an e-mail with your password along with the
information you need to register for your free training.
Please note: each parent will be assigned their own password. Do not try to register yourself at Foster Parent
College or you will be prompted to pay for the classes.
After
receiving
your
password,
go
www.fosterparentcollege.com and start your training.
to
If you have already registered and have taken courses,
contact your certification worker and make sure that they
have copies of your training certificates
Available Courses
Behavior Management
Anger Pie (ABC’s of dealing with child’s behavior issues)
Children with Autism
Childhood Anxiety Disorders
ADHD/ ADD/ ODD
Reactive Attachment Disorder
Self-Harm
Stealing
Running Away
Wetting and Soiling
Sexualized Behavior
Sleep Problems
Lying
Parenting Strategies
Culturally Competent Parent
Grief & Loss in the Care System
Child Abuse Neglect
House Safety
Relationships: Strengthening Communications
Working with Schools
Working with Birth Parents I: Visitation
Kinship Care
Positive Parenting I
Positive Parenting II
Positive Parenting III
Safe Parenting
Advanced Parenting Workshops
Advanced Parenting Workshop on Anger
Advanced Parenting Workshop on Lying
Impact of fostering on your Birth Children
Child Safety & Supervision
July, 2013
Say what???
Page 7
By: Stacy Morris
It’s officially Summer! Kids are out of school, temperatures are rising and the fun begins! My girls are absolutely loving how it
gets dark so late and they have time to play when they get home in the evenings. We have to drag them inside EVERY evening
and convince them they have to have a bath because they are so stinking tired, they can barely function. It is a good thing their
babysitter has them read during the day at her house during quiet time or they wouldn’t be getting anything done academically.
They can’t even make it through a book after their bath because they are snoozing. Oh to be a kid again… I remember summers like these when I was a kid and I am thankful they get to experience them as well.
With our kids wanting to spend every waking minute outside, we are actually going to start having an evening weekly where
we do games inside the house. We came up with some games that will keep their attention and give us some laughs at the
same time. #1- Placing cotton balls on one side of the room, holding a plastic spoon in your mouth and picking up cotton balls
with the spoon to carry them to a bowl on the opposite side of the room #2- Balloon volleyball-just blow up a couple of balloons and hit back and forth seeing how long the family can keep the balloons off the floor. #3- Indoor scavenger hunts- send
the kids on a hunt in other rooms of the house for items of a particular color or start with a certain letter. Wait, I wonder if I
can incorporate chores with this without them knowing, hmm. There are tons of games to do with kids inside and outside
that will bring your family together. I know normally parents are trying to get their kids to play more outside and we are doing the complete opposite, SAY WHAT??? I can explain! This year they can all finally ride their bikes, we have some new
neighborhood kids and our backyard is the meeting place for all the kids on the block which equals, our kids are much too
busy for us these days. As much as we would like to keep them content and let them do what makes them happy this summer, we still need to be a part of their daily lives. This means showing and demonstrating how to treat others and attempting
to get everyone back on track (us and the kiddos). We love having game night all through the year. It is a great way to build
relationships in your family. Our girls (okay, and us too) just get plain silly when we have family fun nights. I wouldn’t trade
these moments for anything!
Hope everyone has a wonderful summer! Thanks so much for reading!
Stacy
There’s nothing better than kicking back and relaxing by the pool or splashing around with your children on a lazy summer afternoon.
But what could seem like a perfect activity on a sunny summer day could turn into a disaster if a few simple pool safety rule s are not
followed. According to national statistics, each year, nationwide, more than 300 children under 5 years old drown in residential swimming pools, usually a pool owned by their family. In addition, more than 2,000 children in that age group are treated in hosp ital emergency rooms for submersion injures. Staggering statistics wouldn’t you say? By following a few simple steps, there is a way to prevent
most pool related injuries and avoid tragedy.
 Make sure that the pool is surrounded by a barrier such as a fence with a gate that locks
 Never leave a child unsupervised near a pool. During social gatherings at or near a pool, appoint a"designated watcher" to protect young children from pool accidents. Adults may take turns being the "watcher." When adults become preoccupied, children
are at risk.
 If a child is missing, check the pool first. Seconds count in preventing death or disability. Go to the edge of the pool and scan the
entire pool, bottom and surface, as well as the pool area.
 Do not allow a young child in the pool without an adult.
 Do not consider young children to be drown-proof because they have had swimming lessons. Children must be watched closely
while swimming.
 Do not use flotation devices as a substitute for supervision.
 Learn CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). Babysitters and other caretakers, such as grandparents and older siblings, should
also know CPR.
 Keep rescue equipment by the pool. Be sure a telephone is poolside with emergency numbers posted nearby.
 Remove toys from in and around the pool when it is not in use. Toys can attract young children to the pool.
 Never prop open the gate to a pool
 barrier.
 One last reminder, remember that Cherokee Nation Indian Child Welfare has policies on swimming pools that are located on
Resource Parents property. They MUST be surrounded by a barrier and have locking gates.
Page 8
July, 2013
Put this on your Calendar!
Need CPR/ First Aid Training?
Below are the scheduled dates
you may attend.
July 11th — Tahlequah — 9 am to 1 pm
July 20th — Sallisaw — 9 am to 1 pm
August 1st — Catoosa — 9 am to 1 pm
August 3rd — Tahlequah — 9 am to 1 pm
To attend any of the trainings listed, contact
Tonia Stamper at 918-266-5626 ext. 7742
Indian Child Welfare
1-800-256-0671 or
918-453-5000
Sallisaw: 918-774-0800
Stillwell: 918-696-7603
Tahlequah: 918-458-6900
1-866-376-9319
Newsletter Inquiries call
Sallisaw Office or mail to:
P.O. Box 488
Sallisaw, Ok 74955
REGUALARLY SCHEDULED MEETINGS
WILL RESUME IN SEPTEMBER
FOR QUESTIONS, YOU MAY CALL
TAMI JENNINGS AT:
918-266-5626 EXT. 7726
E-mail & On-line services
Offices
Catoosa: 918-266-5626
THE ROGERS CO. AREA
RESOURCE SUPPORT TEAM
IS ON SUMMER BREAK!!!
Family 411 at Your
Service
Do you have a quick
question and can’t get
in touch with
your certification
worker
or your child’s caseworker?
Well, don’t wait.
You can send an e-mail
to
Family411@cherokee.
org
Do you have a quick question and can’t get in touch
with your certification worker or your child’s caseworker?
No need to wait. You can send an e-mail to
[email protected]
Need information about Indian Child Welfare or did
you lose your copy of the newsletter? Go to
www.cherokeekids.org and we will keep you up to
date.
Come visit us on our Facebook page, “Homes for
Cherokee Kids”. We invite you to stop by and click
like. Share with your friends by helping us get the
word out about becoming a Resource Home.