1. society
2. unrest and war

Cairns Sub Branch
115 Esplanade Cairns • PO Box 55 CAIRNS Qld.4870
PH: 07 4051 5804 • Fax: 07 4031 6631
Email Address: [email protected]
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
THE RETURNED AND SERVICES LEAGUE OF AUSTRALIA
OFFICE BEARERS
PRESIDENT
Peter Turner (Army) RSL Care, Welfare
Pensions Officer Membership Officer
Building Sub-Committee.
SENIOR VICE-PRESIDENT
Stan Carswell. (Army) FND
Rep.,Requiems,Cadet Liaison
VICE PRESIDENT
Buster Todd. (RAAF) Girl in a Million
Liaison, Raffles.
TREASURER
Donald Cunningham. (Army)
SECRETARY
Carmel Martin.
Chris Jensen (RAN) Building SubCommittee Legacy Liaison.
Stuart Lovell (Army), Building SubCommittee, Alan Pickering (ARMY),
Building Sub-Committee
Bill Taylor, Pensions Officer
Tony McCormack (Army) Senior Welfare
Pensions Officer Building Sub-Committee
Myles Thompson RFD. LLB. (RAAF)
RSL President, Building Sub-Committee,
Legal Advice
SUB-BRANCH OFFICE
Lorraine Soper Welfare Support
TRUSTEES
George Mansford AM., Peter Sibree AM
MG, Mervyn Haines, Ian Lindsay
WELFARE/PENSION OFFICERS
Pensions – Tony McCormack, Peter
Turner, Ian Richards, Bill Taylor (Army) &
Chris Read
COMMITTEE
Merv Haines (Army) Building SubCommittee, Finance.
RIFLEMAN’S LUNCH CO-ORDINATOR
Roy Mawer
Roy Hartman OAM. (RAAF), Memorabilia
Curator, Ceremonial Co-ordination.
SIT-REP EDITOR
Douglas Lee ACS
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SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Presidents ‘O’ Group
Dear Members, In view of the upcoming
Federal election, at the time of writing this
report, I have had meetings with two of the
candidates from the three major parties
standing for the seat of Leichhardt and
given them a brief on the RSL and veteran’s
issues. I have an appointment with the
third candidate. Most were not aware of
the role and structure of the RSL and how
we actually help veterans. They were made
fully aware of our welfare and pension work
and commemorative obligations and our
youth projects, ie in Cairns our support of
the Cadets with our Kokoda Project, our
sponsorship of St Monica’s College to travel
to Gallipoli and the Western Front and our
assistance to the local Cadet units.
INDEX
4
President’s ‘O’ Group
4
From the Editor
5
New’s Briefs
6
Interview – Guy Fawcett
8
Z Force – Z Special Unit
12
Senior Dating
16
Cairns Sub-Branch History
18
Winning Neologisms
20
Men’s Health
22
Our Vision
25
History of the Middle Finger
26
World’s Easiest Quiz
27
They were not aware of the RSL Aged Care
Assistance through RSL Care, with the
provision of home care, low and high care
and dementia care at Farnorha and the extra
60 beds that are currently being provided
there. I also made them aware that if the RSL
presents them with a veteran matter, it has
been through a process of investigation and
validation so that the case we are presenting is
justified and well founded.
I also presented them with a submission
that has been prepared by Queensland
State Branch on the 2008/2009 Veteran’s
Affairs Budget. This covers submissions
on rehabilitation, sons and daughters study,
erosion of special rate pension, funeral
allowances and the DFRDB
Superannuation issues.
It is important that all parties and candidates
are made aware of veteran’s issues leading
up to the election and we establish a firm
ground to work with any local member to
assist that aim.
We also have to be aware that we do not
develop a “them and us” attitude and we
have a good working relationship with
positive outcomes for the service and
ex-service community.
Till next time
Take care
P J Turner
If you can read this
THANK A TEACHER
If it is in English
THANK A SOLDIER
And that brings us to REMEMBRANCE DAY
Yes we have Anzac Day and we have
Vietnam Vets (Long Tan) Day and many
other meaningless public holidays. OK, they
are specific. Where would we be if we had
one for every war, police action insurgence,
military action or invasion of another
Country. Would we want to remember the
Boer War for a start and all the other “angry
events” like Korea, Borneo, Malaysia, not
to mention Israel, Iraq, Iran and the many
other military actions be they Army, Navy or
Air force.
Without declaring a full on alert like Iraq
we have over three thousand military
representations in thirteen other world sites
at any given time. The occasional loss
of life quite often doesn’t get any media
recognition. But we do lose some.
Remembrance Day is the day Australians
remember those who have died in war.
At 11am on 11 November we pause to
remember the sacrifice of those men and
women who have died or suffered in wars
and conflicts and all those who have served
during the past 120 years.
Originally called Armistice Day, this day
commemorated the end of the hostilities for
the Great War, the signing of the armistice,
which occurred on 11 November 1918 - the
11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.
Armistice Day was observed by the Allies
as a way of remembering those who died,
especially soldiers with ‘no known grave’.
SIT REP OCTOBER 20077
From the Editor
On the first anniversary of the armistice, in
1919 two minutes silence was instituted as
part of the main commemorative ceremony.
In London, in 1920, the commemoration was
given added significance with the return of
the remains of an unknown soldier from the
battlefields of the Western Front.
The Flanders poppy became accepted
throughout the allied nations as the flower of
remembrance to be worn on Armistice Day.
The red poppies were among the first plants
that sprouted from the devastation of the
battlefields of northern France and Belgium.
Editor
Douglas Lee ACS
In 1918 the armistice that ended World War I
came into force, bringing to an end four years
of hostilities that saw sixty one thousand,
nine hundred and nineteen Australians die
either at sea, in the air or on foreign soil. Few
Australian families were left untouched by the
events of World War I – known as the war
to end all wars’ most had lost a father, son,
daughter, brother, sister or friend.
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SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
News Briefs
WW I MISSING 51BN SOLDIERS FOUND
The remains of two missing WW1 soldiers
have been identified following extensive
research and collaboration between the
Belgium and Australian authorities. The
investigation started last year when five sets of
remains believed to be Australian missing war
dead were discovered near the small Belgian
town of Westhoek.
A contingent of present day soldiers of the
51st Bn The Far North Queensland Regiment
(51FNQR) led by Commanding Officer, LTCOL
Paddy Evans, will leave Cairns for Ieper in
Belgium on 30 September to re-interr the
remains in the Buttes Military Cemetery in
Belgium on 4 October 2007
DNA testing and identification of colour
patches have now conclusively identified
two of the remains as members of the 51st
Bn AIF who fought many bloody battles on
the Western Front in 1917-18. Both soldiers
lost their lives in the Battle of Polygon Wood
on 26 September 1917. Polygon Wood is a
Battle Honour of the 51st Bn, appearing on
the Regimental Colour along with South Africa
1899-1902, Pozieres, Bullecourt, Messines
1917, Passchendaele, Ancre 1918, Villers
Bretonneux, Amiens, Hindenburg Line and
France-Flanders 1916-1918.
In August the Minister for Veteran’s Affairs
Mr Bruce Billson had morning tea with the
ex-service community at the Cairns RSL.
Approximately 50 attended and were addressed
by the Minister who took many questions on
veteran’s issues.
VISIT BY MINISTER FOR VETERAN’S AFFAIRS
SUB BRANCH RAFFLE
The raffle in the last issue of Sitrep proved to
be a success with the winner being an elderly
gentleman, 87 years of age who has put his
$500 towards his grand-daughters wedding.
Second place of $250 was won by an elderly
gentleman who considered his windfall a bonus
and promptly donated it back to our Distressed
Digger’s Fund. A fantastic gesture on his part!
I thank everyone who participated in the raffle.
All monies raised go to our welfare and youth
assistance projects.
VIETNAM VETERAN’S DAY
The remains were not uncovered during the
past war battlefield clearance operations which
relocated remains to permanent war cemeteries
throughout France and Belgium.
6
Vietnam Veterans Day was a success except for
the weather and the ceremony had to be held
in the Kokoda Room. It was a good turn out,
boosted by members of A Company, 7 RAR,
South Vietnam 1970-71 who were in Cairns
to spend some time with their ex- Company
Commander, Major Chris Campbell-Thomson
who gave the address during the service.
85 TPT TP REUNION
Queensland RSL State Branch web site is being
revised and will be up shortly in a new format.
Cairns RSL Club and Sub Branch web site is
still under construction and progressing well.
85 TPT TP Moorebank is closing and relocating
to Amberley. A reunion has been organized
for 19/21 October 2007. Anyone interested in
attending should contract Lucas Hargreaves on
0428 115876.
DAY CLUB
Our feasibility study into the Day Club has been
well received and we should be able to have a
meeting shortly to advise interested members
of our progress and to obtain feedback as to
what people require to make the Day Club a
success. At this time we have three volunteers
interested in running and co-ordinating the
Club, they will receive training from DVA
as welfare officers. When we know what
members require as part the day club, funding
grants will be submitted to Department of
Veteran’s Affairs ie bus trips equipment etc.
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
RSL WEBSITE
Z FORCE MEMORIAL REDEDICATION
A rededication ceremony of the Z Force
Memorial which was moved from HMAS Cairns
to adjacent to the Cenotaph is planned for 6pm
26 October 2007. Preparations are underway
and its expected to have a high profile member
of ADF present. The ceremony will be followed
at 7pm by the Annual Rifleman’s Dinner. This
is the major fund raiser for the year and we
hope to have some pleasant surprises to
announce shortly.
The Rifleman’s Lunch
Last Friday of every month
12.30-1PM till xxxx
$30
Includes
cludes lunch
& drinks
($5.00 goes to a worthy cause)
For like minded people (bring a friendd or two who enjoy convivial company).
To help us with feed and water please call
Roy (Shorty) Mawer on 0414 405 141.
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SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Please to remember the
5th of November
It was on this date late in the year at Oakey
on the Darling Downs in the year 1911 that
a young lady with a sense of humour gave
birth to her son and named him Guy. His
surname was not Fawkes but closely spelt
as Fawcett.
95 years later, that same Guy is now an
upstanding example of the soldier of that
era, ramrod straight he still will hold his
own verbally with all who may have the
opportunity of dining and talking with him.
Several months ago at the end of month
Riflemans Lunch at which we were
entertaining our own local Battalion, the
51st., we were treated to a few words from
this retired Lt Colonel. At 95 years of age,
to be suddenly and without warning be
called upon to say a few words was an
example to all of us as he told us of the fact
that he was one of the first to start the 1st
Battalion in the RAR, late forties.
Well we were sent to Syria and told to wear
our slouch hats so we could be recognised
from all the others. There were Spaniards
and Italians and some from the French
Foreign Legion all mixed up and not knowing
who was fighting who.
8
Q: When did you first join the Army Guy.
At the age of sixteen I became a Senior Cadet
but I was only Six before I saw rain. I joined
the Cadets in Sydney and when we turned
eighteen we joined the Battalion. That’s how
the system worked in those days. It was the
thirty fourth battalion, the Illawarra Regiment.
Q: So were you wearing a uniform from the
age of sixteen ?
Yes.
Q: Continually ?
Yes. Once compulsory training cut out, I
simply transferred to the Militia. I kept going
you see.
Q: So prior to World War Two you spent
your time in the Militia then ?
Yes, but before WW2 in ’36 they decided to
call for volunteers to do a special training
course and at the end of six months we
graduated and became Warrant Officers At
this time I had a job for life in the Railways,
but there was a strike so I applied for the
course and was selected. It was held
at Randwick and was called the small
arms school. We were actually trained
as instructors including map reading and
land mine detection. This was really one
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
of the greatest times in my life.
In retrospect, twenty years later I
was appointed chief instructor of
the school of infantry which was
originally the small arms school.
So I went from a cadet there to
commanding the unit, you know
what I mean? I felt very proud of it.
Q: And that was in 1936?
Yes, I graduated in the top four and
was promptly posted to Melbourne,
much to my horror. You see I had a
girlfriend there and I wanted to stay
there and when I told her she said you can’t
do that and I said you tell the Army that.
So that was the way we got engaged. So I
went to Melbourne and found myself as the
RSM at Footscray with the Second Battalion.
That was from’36 to ’38 when they called
for instructors to train an elite force of 245
applicants known as a mobile force selected
from over 4000 from all over Australia. I was
selected to be their instructor so I went back
to Sydney and we trained at Liverpool.
Then in ’39 I went to Darwin and became
RSM of the Darwin Mobile Force which I
had trained at Liverpool, I then went down
to Woodside and was commissioned there
to Lieutenant in the second twenty seventh
and then we sailed for the Middle East and
Palestine in the mid ‘40’s. I became the
commander of a carrier platoon, BrenGun Carriers.
Guy then went on to describe the various
places he went to including Africa where he
just got out in time. They got chewed up by
Rommel, poor bastards.
Q: And then ?
Well we were sent to Syria and told to wear
our slouch hats so we could be recognised
from all the others. There were Spaniards
and Italians and some from the French
Foreign Legion all mixed up and not knowing
who was fighting who which is why we wore
our slouch hats. And then I got Malaria.
Q: What In Palestine or Syria
You get it from mosquito’s so I finished
up back in Palestine, Gaza Ridge where
the fighting was heavy as sick as a bloody
dog. I met some interesting people like the
Governor of NSW, Sir Roden Cutler. When
I came out of hospital I was like a bloody
skeleton I might tell you, and I was about
to return to the unit when I was pulled out
as the powers that be had decided to form
a new unique training centre called the AIF
Middle East sympathy shield. Of course
I was a sitting duck with my background.
This was just outside Gaza. And I was still
there when the Japs came into the war. We
were all back to effective strength and they
didn’t know what to do with us when we got
back here in Queensland so they formed the
1st Australian Army training center I think.
General Lavarack was the Army Commander
whom I had met before and I had to put
through a Battalion at the time and teach
them all about getting up close to the enemy
and all about straffing and bombing the
enemy etc., and I also had a setup at Mount
Tambourine which was for jungle training.
Anyway I tried to get back to a fighting unit
up north but was told that I was more use
9
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
here training than anything else. They said the
unit of eight hundred went in and only eighty
six came out. So I said “Thank You Lord”. I
never again tried to get forth my career.
woken up at one o’clock with all these tracers
as the Japs were attacking so we killed the
Japs and put on a couple of more sentries
and bedded down again at dawn.
So you didn’t actually go to Kokoda then.
He then went on to describe another
adventure which he tells me is in the
Australian Army History Books and described
as Guy’s Post. He says this was about 1943.
No the whole Brigade went. When I got back
here I was a Company Commander and we
were did our training here at Clifton Beach
with the Yanks and then up on the Tablelands
To be continued.
Q: Did you eventually get to New Guinea.
Yes I was on a march for several miles
through kuni grass and we were told to cut
off the Japs two miles away. You couldn’t get
a Jeep through with all the creeks and hills so
we got there and cleaned them up and we got
to a very steep range which became Shaggy
Ridge. There was a plateau at the top and as
we got close there was a Jap up there so I
shot him ‘cause I was a marksman you see.
So I said to double the sentries and I was
INTERESTING STATISTIC…
Regardless of where you stand on the
issue of the US involvement in Iraq,
here’s a sobering statistic:
There has been a monthly average of
160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of
operations during the last 22 months, and
a total of 2,112 deaths.
That gives a firearm death rate of 60 per
100,000 soldiers.
Shaggy Ridge
The firearm death rate in Washington D.C.
is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the
same period.
That means that you are about 25% more
likely to be shot and killed in the U.S.
capital than you are in Iraq.
Conclusion: The U.S. should
pullout of Washington
Open Mon - Fri 8.30am - 5.30pm and Sat 8.30am - 4pm
PH: 4041 0599
Jim Guest. Shop 1/46 Spence St (next to Shennanigans)
10
Membership Card
Each day you enter the Club simply swipe
your card at the kiosk in the Foyer for a
chance to win a prize (ie, a cool Ale, cup
of Coffee or Bonus Points). One in every
150 members who register at the kiosk will
receive a “Dinner for two” voucher.
Each time you make a purchase from the
Bar, Bottleshop or Bistro you can generate
points simply by handing your card to the
Staff Member. Points can also be generated
by placing your card in the Card Reader in
the Gaming Machines. Please note it is the
members responsibility to ensure the card is
used. Points cannot be generated once a
sale has been executed or play begins
on the gaming machines.
Monday
Happy Hour 5.30-6.30pm
Thursday
Thirsty Thursday – 5 pots-$9.00 or
4 schooners $10.00 (available all day both bars)
Seniors Lunch Special – $7.50
(Club members only show Membership card
and collect voucher from Administration.)
Friday
Pokie Promotion from 1.00pm.
3 x Membership Draws
(7.00, 8.00 & 9.00pm)
Membership draw commences at $500
and if not won increases by $100 each
week up to a limit of $2,500. Member must
be present for draw and produce current
membership card and identification.
2 x Meat trays to be won (Tickets generated
from purchases made after 3.00pm.
Tuesday
Cards in Bistro (500) 10.00am.
Free Morning Tea and $7.50 lunch for card
players. NEW PLAYERS WELCOME
Wednesday
Happy Hour 5.30-6.30pm
$50.00 Note – drawn 7 and 7.30pm. (tickets
generated from purchases made after 3 pm).
Member must be present for draw and produce
current membership card and identification.
Saturday
Happy Hour 12.30 to 1.30pm
Sunday
$100.00 Note draw between 2.30 – 3.00pm.
Tickets generated from purchases made
from 10.00am. Member must be present
for draw and produce current membership
card and identification.
(conditions apply to all giveaways)
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Z Force – Z Special Unit
Z Force was the unofficial and popular*
media name for Z Special Unit.
It was one of Australia’s independent forces
that operated behind enemy lines in the
south west pacific during the second world
war. It was the elite forerunner to the
Australian S.A.S. Although it consisted of
mainly Australian and British personnel, it
also contained operatives from the various
allied forces including China and resistance
fighters from the Japanese conquered South
Asian region. Many of its missions remain
secret to this day, it was the world of cyanide
capsules (lolly), clandestine operations at
the risk of being beheaded, for example, a
single operative parachuting into the jungle
in the dead of night, contacting headhunter
tribes and training them to fight with their
primitive weapons, recovering the weapons
of the fallen enemy and carrying on harassing
them. They were delivered on missions by
the U.S sub force, seaplanes, parachute, PT
boats etc.
In March 1942, General Douglas MacArthur
approved the establishment of an offshoot
of the British Special Operation Executive
(SOE) in Australia. This idea had been
proposed by General Blamey. In London
the new organisation was known as Special
Operation Australia (SOA) but it was given a
It was considered too difficult to sneak into
Singapore Harbour from the west, hence SOE
decided to send Lyon to Australia to develop
a plan to come from the south east.
12
cover name in Australia, where it was known
as Inter Allied Services Department (IASD).
This acronym was usually shortened to ISD.
Some SOE British Officers who had escaped to
Australia from Singapore, formed the nucleus
of ISD at its headquarters in Melbourne. In
June 1942, the Australian service personnel in
ISD were administered by a holding company
known as “Z” Special Unit. “Z” Special Unit
used mostly American equipment rather than
British. The unit was sometimes incorrectly
referred to as “Z” Force.
“Z” Special Unit Commandos were trained at:
• Fraser Commando School (FCS) located on
Fraser Island off the Queensland coast near
Maryborough
• Cairns (Z-ES) (The “House on the Hill”)
• Richmond (PTU) - parachute training unit
• Camp Z, located at Cowan Creek, Refuge
Bay (Broken Bay), north of Sydney
• Camp Tabragalba (Camp “X”) near
Beaudesert
• Careening Bay (CBC) near Garden Island in
Western Australia. Also called the Special
Boat School.
• Mount Martha Research Station ( MMRS)
• Underground Methods School (UMS) where was this located? Perhaps north
Queensland?
• Peak Hill - preliminary training for Timorese
• Leyburn, Queensland (PTU) - parachute
training unit transferred from Richmond
in May 1945
The Krait, named after an Asian
(small but deadly) snake was a
captured Japanese fishing boat that
was sailed from Australia through
thousands of miles of hostile waters
for a commando limpet mine raid on
enemy ships in Singapore Harbor
(Operation Jaywick).
In 1943 some ambitious officers of the Allied
Intelligence Bureau (AIB) wanted to strike
the Japanese in their secure strongholds.
28 year old Captain Ivan Lyon of the Gordon
Highlanders teamed up with 61 year old
Australian Bill Reynolds and hatched a plan
to attack the Japanese in Singapore Harbour
where they would launch collapsible canoes
carrying commandos who would attach
limpet mines to the Japanese shipping. The
plan was approved by General Wavell.
It was considered too difficult to sneak into
Singapore Harbour from the west, hence
SOE decided to send Lyon to
Australia to develop a plan to
come from the south east.
test the effectiveness of the plan by raiding
a tightly guarded allied port. He mentioned
the ideas to Lieutenant Sam Carey, of the AIF,
who chose Townsville for the attack.
It was Mott’s idea to test the effectiveness
of well-trained commandos by mounting an
attack, using sterile limpet mines, on some
tightly guarded Allied port. He was careful to
commit nothing to paper, but he mentioned
his idea to Sam Carey.
Carey chose Townsville, a major garrison
town with a busy harbour full of troop
transports, merchantmen and naval escort
vessels. The place was vulnerable to
Japanese air and submarine attack, so
security was tight. The narrow entrance and
approaches were mined and a mine controlpoint was located at the extreme end of a
long breakwater. If the observers stationed
there saw Carey’s canoes they would assume
them to be enemy intruders and electrically
detonate the mines.
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
• School for Eastern Interpreters - Initially
at Fraser Commando School, then Mount
Martha, then Park Orchards, Melbourne
In five canoes, each crewed by two men, the
Scorpion raiders left their base on Magnetic
Island and paddled slowly into the target
harbour at midnight on June 20, 1943. Carey
and Mackenzie attached limpets to two
American Liberty ships and a Dutch ship while
Cardew and Barnes fixed their mines to two
destroyers and another ship. Gluth and Page
Bill Reynolds owned a battered
Japanese coastal vessel (21.3m
x 3.3m) called the Kofuku Maru,
in which he used to take scores
of refugees out of Singapore.
Reynolds later renamed the
vessel the Krait. Lyon’s idea was
eventually taken up and it was
decided by Lieutenant Colonel
G.S. Mott, Chief of the Services
Reconnaissance Department, to
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SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
went for a ship named Akaba but as it had a
barge moored alongside they were forced to
fix their mines above the waterline. Downey
and Grimson limpeted two ships and were in
the process of treating a third when a sailor,
smoking as he leaned over the side, asked,
mildly, “What are you doing there?”
‘’Just paddling around,” Grimson said
casually. The sailor casually flicked his
cigarette butt into the water. “Good night,
mate,” he said and disappeared.
Their limpeting complete, Carey’s men
met at Ross Creek, dismantled and hid
their boats, had breakfast and headed for
Townsville to sleep.
The first alarm came at 10 am, when the
skipper of the Akaba reported “something
strange” under the ship. Other ships notified
local HQ of “suspicious objects,” which were
soon identified as limpet mines. Top-secret
priority messages were flashed to Canberra
and Melbourne, including one to Colonel
14
Mott’s office. Mott was diplomatically
unavailable. MacArthur’s Intelligence Chief,
Colonel Alison Ind, knew where the blame
lay: “Find Lieutenant Sam Carey,” he said.
Awakened from sleep at 3pm, Carey was
placed under arrest and escorted before
senior naval officers. The AIF officer
explained his mission but even when
he produced General Blarney’s “letter of
authority” the Navy was not mollified. Carey
offered to remove the mines but the angry
captains of the ships affected would not
contemplate the idea. They did not believe
that these mines were inert and feared that
Carey might accidentally set them off.
GHQ commented that the Carey exercise
had been irregular but the senior planning
officers were by then convinced that a raid
against genuine enemy targets was worth
attempting. Ivan Lyon and his team had
been in training for some time and made
use of all the lessons learned from Carey’s
‘’destruction of Townsville harbour.”
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Fairview House – “The House on the Hill” was used between 1942 and 1944 by Z Special
Unit as their Z Experimental Station or Z.E.S. Z Special unit used “The House on the Hill” to
plan Operation Jaywick, the successful mission to blow up Japanese shipping in Singapore
Harbour. The fourteen British and Australian Commandos trained in the Barron River and on
the beaches north of Cairns on The Krait, an old Japanese fishing vessel in which they left
Cairns on 9 August 1943 and traveled the 3,840 kms to Singapore.
15
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Senior Dating
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior”
widows, are talking.
Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked
me out for a date. I know you went out with
him last week, and I wanted to talk with you
about him before I give him my answer.”
Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at
my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed
like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he
brings me such beautiful flowers! Then
he takes me downstairs, and what’s there
but a Iuxury car..... a limousine, uniformed
chauffeur and all.
16
Then he takes me out for dinner.... a
marvellous dinner.... lobster, champagne,
dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go
see a show.
Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much
I could have just died from pleasure! So then
we are coming back to my apartment and he
turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he
tears off my expensive new dress and has his
way with me two times!”
Dorothy: “Goodness gracious!... so you are
telling me I shouldn’t go out with him?”
Edna: “No, no, no.... I’m just saying, wear
an old dress.”
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Cairns Sub-Branch History
Due to the fire which destroyed the RSL
building on 4 July 1963 all our records
along with our Charter of Membership
which established our Sub-Branch
were destroyed.
In the course of researching our formation
date, many articles of historical interest have
come to light and we intend to reproduce
them in Sit-Rep. The following article was
in the Cairns Post 25 May 1918 before the
Armistice and refers to 1918 Annual General
Meeting of the Sub-Branch.
As you can see the Secretary’s Report refers
to activities for the previous year leading to
the assumption that our Sub-Branch was
established by Charter during 1917.
On 4th July 1963, the buildings were destroyed by fire. The Rest Home section was completely
destroyed together with the First Floor section of the front building. The bar and lounge section
of the ground floor were not destroyed but only smoked damaged. The greatest losses were
however, the many irreplaceable historical articles and photos, particularly the Roll of Honour,
and all the Legacy, historical and office records. Nevertheless, it is recorded that the SecretaryManager was able to entertain behind the remaining bar those people who had done so much in
coping with the fire and the beer was still quite cold! (All was not lost).
18
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SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Winning Neologisms
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom
one coughs.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly
receding hairline.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how
much weight you have gained.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on
an exam.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever
having a flat stomach.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified
bearing adopted by proctologists.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation
while drunk.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in
which you absentmindedly answer the
door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that
picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller
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14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular
demand): The belief that, when you die,
your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets
stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of
boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding
stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreplay (v): Any misrepresentation
about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
3. Castration (n.): The act of buying a house,
which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted
very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the
author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn’t get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously
when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.
(This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when
everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of
getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid
ideas to seem smarter when they come at
you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you’ve accidentally
walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a
mosquito that gets into your bedroom at
three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after
finding half a grub in the fruit you’re
eating. And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both
stupid and an asshole.
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SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Men’s Health
Secrets of Sexual Relationships,
Prostates and a Long Life
Credits – “Men’s Health Peer Education”
Vol 6, Issue 2
Dr Graeme Killer AD, Principal Medical Adviser
Lovers in the western world are greying and
Australia is no exception. While I have not had
time or inclination to verify this, it has been
said that publishers are seizing the opportunity
with a current boom in the production of how
to, when to, sex manuals for mid-lifers, semiseniors and seniors. With all this authoritative
advice from university professors down to
Ukrainian goat herders, we should know a lot
more or maybe it’s not that simple?
Sex is multidimensional, it’s physical and
mental and shaped by cultural values and
expectations. It means different things to
Half of Australian men may experience
problems with their prostate at some time.
22
different people depending on circumstances.
It is the subject of humour and yet it is
something we often don’t want to talk about
with our doctor or even with our partner. Yet it
is important in everyday human relationships.
A number of years ago, when DVA first put out
a booklet and a video entitled ‘You and Your
Prostate’, we interviewed numbers of veterans
who had developed impotence as a result
of prostate surgery. Frank discussions with
these veterans and their wives provided rather
wonderful insights into sexual relationships
that clearly demonstrated there are far more
meaningful aspects of sexual relationships in
terms of intimacy, support, companionship,
physical contact and even a level of spirituality,
that goes well beyond the physical act of
intercourse.
The truth is as our body ages our sexual
relationship changes also. For women the
development of menopause impacts both
physically and mentally. For men as they
age they have more trouble reaching and
holding an erection and this can be related to
the development of conditions like diabetes,
mild depression or even the side effects
of medication for elevated blood pressure.
Of course, as men age prostate problems
including prostate cancer can become a
concern. Quite apart from the effects of
ageing, concern about sexual performance,
feelings of guilt, the effects of past sexual
trauma and the stresses of everyday life
The secrets of long life, apart from choosing
the right parents are clearly around good
health both physical and mental. Good and
meaningful sexual relationships are important
at all ages and are a key component of good
health. However, one thing is for certain we
should never take relationships for granted.
We need to keep working on them. Good
health is meaningless until we lose it and even
with the help of our doctors and nurses, it is
still substantially in our own hands.
“GOOD MEANINGFUL SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT AT
ALL AGES AND ARE A KEY COMPONENT
OF GOOD HEALTH”
Cassy Bezeruk, Public Relations Coordinator,
Andrology Australia
Many men cringe at the thought of
something being wrong ‘down there’ …
minds automatically jump to the thought of
uncomfortable diagnostic tests! It is well
known that no matter how gracefully we age,
we do become more at risk for certain health
issues such as heart disease, blood pressure,
cholesterol, osteoporosis and hip fractures.
For men, sexual health, including health of the
prostate, is something to think about.
Prostate disease, testosterone deficiency and
erectile dysfunction (impotence) are three
sexual and reproductive health problems that
affect men, and sadly become more common
as we get older. Often men will ignore
symptoms and delay seeing a doctor, even if
their symptoms are having a major impact on
their life. Many men find it difficult to see their
doctor about problems connected with their
reproductive organs.
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
like dealing with a mortgage can affect our
relationships and sexual function. If we are
not vigilant alas the monogamy that lies at
the heart of many long-term relationships
begins to be equated with monotony. The
other important part of sexual relationships
is our mental health. Mental health is how
we think, feel and act as we cope with life. It
also helps to determine how we handle stress,
make choices, relate to others but particularly
to our partners and our immediate family.
One response to dealing with mental health
problems can be the use of alcohol. It can
help in small amounts but in large amounts
in the longer term can lead to liver damage,
increase in weight and general deterioration
of physical and mental health. In the family
situation alcohol problems can lead to family
discord and domestic violence.
Lower Urinary Tract Symptoms
Half of Australian men may experience
problems with their prostate at some time,
with prostate enlargement, prostatitis
(inflammation and swelling) and prostate
cancer the three main types of prostate
disease. The most commonly experienced
prostate disease is prostate enlargement
(benign prostatic hyperplasia), which is noncancerous. Prostate disease affects about one
in seven men aged over the age of 40. It is
usually not life-threatening, but the symptoms
can have a significant impact on quality of life.
The most common symptom of prostate
enlargement is lower urinary tract problems.
As you can imagine, difficulty in urinating,
sudden urgency, dribbling and increased
frequency can severely affect your day to
day living. You may have noticed as you are
standing at the urinal in the men’s toilet that
the guy next to you seems to have quite a bit
of trouble getting started. You might wonder
why he was there when you came in, and
still hasn’t left. Some men may suffer sleep
deprivation and be constantly fatigued due to
getting up several times every night to go to
the toilet.
Research suggest that men with lower urinary
tract symptoms have little or no increased risk
of prostate cancer and that these problems
cannot ‘turn into’ prostate cancer. Often these
23
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
symptoms are simply a ‘pain in the neck’.
This doesn’t mean you should ignore these
things or suffer in silence. Talk to your doctor
and have everything checked out. If you are
experiencing symptoms, don’t worry, help is
at hand.
Think about how your symptoms are affecting
your life, as well as those around you. If
you are waking three times a night to go to
the toilet, chances are your partner’s sleep is
being disturbed too. Have a chat with your
partner – communication is important and
will help you deal thing things. Is your social
life restricted due to your need to stay close
to toilets? Is your sex life being affected by
your symptoms?
Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction, or as it is commonly
known, impotence, affects about one in five
Australian men over the age of 40 and increases
in frequency with each decade of age.
But don’t get down – help is on the way, there
are treatments available to assist you to have
erections. Safe and effective drug treatments
taken prior to intercourse can improve your
ability to have an erection. Injections into the
penis are also available for those for whom
these drug therapies are not suitable.
Erectile dysfunction may be a sing of
another serious but possibly undiagnosed
medical problem, such as diabetes and heart
disease, so it is important to talk with your
doctor when you first notice symptoms.
Psychological factors such as stress and
anxiety can also cause erection problems and
talking to a doctor is important if the problem
is affecting quality of life and relationships.
Testosterone Deficiency
Obesity and depression can lower your
testosterone (male hormone) level. In
these cases, the low testosterone level is a
‘symptom’ of the health problem and not
the cause. Decreased energy, mood swings,
24
irritability, poor concentration, reduced
muscle strength or bone density, and a lack
of interest in sex are signs of low levels of
testosterone and these symptoms can impact
your quality of life.
Your doctor can check your levels of
testosterone with a general health check
and a series of blood tests. If testosterone
deficiency is your problem and no other
health indicators have been identified, there
are effective testosterone replacement
treatments available. Testosterone therapy
is available in various forms including
injections, implants, gels and patches.
If you are experiencing any symptoms, it
is important to talk to your doctor. Quick
intervention can often help avoid serious
long-term consequences, and importantly
reduce the effects this is having on your
quality of life. Don’t be afraid to have a chat
to your doctor about what is going on ‘down
there’ – you do not have to suffer these
symptoms in silence.
HAVING NO SYMPTOMS DOESN’T
NECESSARILY MEAN NOTHING IS
HAPPENING IN THE NETHER REGION!
REGULARLY CONSULTING A DOCTOR COULD
ULTIMATELY SAVE YOUR LIFE.
I’m sure “the voice” would smile at this.
Luciano Pavarotti duly knocked on the
Pearly Gates…..
St Peter opens them and says,
“Oh, it’s you Luciano, salutations, come
on in - squeeze through.”
Pavarotti boomed, “Hold on, I am carrying
an envelope from the Vatican City for you,
from Il Pap, The Pope.”
St Peter opens the envelope and reads it
“HERE’S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU”
The Rocky Creek War Memorial Park Committee have completed building the
Memorial Wall for the placement of individual plaques in memory of Service
Men and Women of the 6th, 7th and 9th Division who trained on the Atherton
Tablelands during World War II.
The Commi1tee will be extending this wall in order for the placement of
plaques for all who participated in the Pacific Theatre of War.
SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
Our Vision
(World War II only)
A donation to this worthwhile project would be greatly appreciated.
Please contact Atherton Shire Council on (07) 4091 0746 or
[email protected]
PO Box 573 ATHERTON QLD 4883
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SIT REP OCTOBER 2007
History of the middle finger
Well here’s something I didn’t know, and
now that I know I feel compelled to send
it on to my more intelligent friends in the
hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn’t
history more fun when you know
something about it.
Before the Battle of Agincourt
1415 AD, the French,
anticipating a victory over
the English, proposed to cut
off the middle finger of all
captured English soldiers,
so it would be impossible
for them to fight with the
longbow again.
Much to the bewilderment of
the French, the English won a
major battle, and the soldiers
began mocking the French by
waving their middle fingers at
the defeated French
and shouting, “See! We can
still pluck yew!” and “Pluck yew!”
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Over the years, folk etymologies have grown
up around this symbolid gesture.
Since “Pluck yew” is a bit difficult to say
like “Pleasant mother pheasant plucker –
and you had to go to the
pheasant for the feathers
used on arrows for the
longbow – the PL gradually
got changed to F, and thus
the words often used with
the one-finger salute are
mistakenly thought to have
something to do with sex.
Also, because of the
pheasant feathers on
arrows, the symbolic
gesture is also known as
“Giving the bird!” It is still
an appropriate salute to the
French today.
And you thought you knew
every plucking thing!
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1. How long did the Hundred Years War last? ..........................................................................
2. Which country makes Panama hats? ...................................................................................
3. From which animal do we get catgut? ..................................................................................
SIT REP OCTOBER 20077
World’s Easiest Quiz
4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? .........................................
5. What is a camel’s hair brush made of? ................................................................................
6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? ..........................................
7. What was King George VI’s first name? ...............................................................................
8. What colour is a purple finch? .............................................................................................
9. Where are Chinese Gooseberries from? ...............................................................................
10. What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane...............................................
10. What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane. Orange, of course
9. Where are Chinese Gooseberries from? New Zealand
8. What colour is a purple finch? Crimson
7. What was King George VI’s first name? Albert
6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
5. What is a camel’s hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
3. From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep & horses
2. Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
1. How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
Answers to the Quiz
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