Feeling Down: Finding a Way Out Restlessness. Dissatisfaction. Ennui. Not-rightness. You can’t define it but you know it doesn’t feel good, and you wish it would go away. Or at least take a long winter (and summer) vacation. How do you know how much of this is typical teenage stuff and how much of it demands some attention, possible professional intervention? There are seeds of Major Depression Disorder and Anxiety Disorder in most of the daily discomfort we experience, but many times a few practical steps can pluck us from the ennui into healthy living. getting Through ☞ Give it a name. Most of the time “blah” can be more precisely defined. Are you more anxious than depressed? Are you frustrated? Angry? Are your emotions a result of perfectionist qualities, of unrealistic expectations? Are you hurt because of a friend or family member but aren’t aware of it? Awhile back, my kids returned from school with a “vocabulary of feelings” they received from the guidance counselor. Apparently, there are more feelings than just “bad,” “worse,” and “definitely not good.” There are four emotions that start with the letter A alone: angry, annoyed, anxious, apologetic. Identifying a more accurate definition of your discomfort can help you better know the origins of it, and what next steps might help you feel better. ☞ Practice mental hygiene. I won’t tell you to brush your teeth while repeating affirmations. This is not the mental hygiene I’m talking about. I’m referring to keeping a regular schedule, which I realize can seem nearly impossible. However, as productive as you think you are at one in the morning writing song lyrics or the first chapter to the next great American novel, your body is literally breaking down. The inconsistency in sleep affects circadian rhythms, our internal biological clocks, which govern fluctuations in body temperature, brain-wave activity, cell regeneration, and hormone production. The shift in hormone levels absolutely contributes to malaise and anxiety. So, while its great to want to express yourself creatively or nurture that great thought, you’d be happier if you did it before 10:00 at night. It is also helpful to designate a set time to eat meals and to give your day more routine, in general, so that your body knows that it studies after dinner, exercises after school, and so on. Our entire selves— mind, body, and spirit—crave the structure, as boring as it may be. ☞ Close some doors.You have lots of opportunities and options. While it is right to feel blessed to have so many options, the reality is that opportunities themselves create stress and anxiety, especially for the introspective kind. Why? Choosing one thing over another is like saying good-bye over and over again. It sounds melodramatic, but you are, in effect, mourning a loss with each decision. According to Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT and author of Predictably Irrational, there is wisdom in “A day dawns, quite like the other days; in it a single hour comes, quite like other hours; but in that day and in that hour the chance of a lifetime faces us.” —Malthie Babcock Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved. closing a few doors, even if doing so feels counterintuitive. He conducted a series of experiments where hundreds of students could not bear to let their options vanish. Dr. Ariely advises students and readers that by closing the door to options, we free ourselves from undue stress and burden. ☞ Stop multitasking. According to performance coach Heidi Hanna, Ph.D., we spend only 10 percent of our time in the current moment, 50 percent anticipating what’s ahead of us, and 40 per“Days go by, cent looking back. Although most of us I catch myself smile brag about our ability to multitask, the research more than you’d ever expect. says folks who completed two simultaneous It’s been a long while tasks took up to 30 percent longer and made since it’s been okay twice as many mistakes as those who completed to feel this way.” the same tasks in sequence. But inefficien—Duncan Sheik, cy isn’t the only draw“Days Go By” back of texting in English class or at work, multitasking also creates higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone responsible for most funks. ☞ Get a best friend. We are social creatures. We need community to thrive. Intimate relationships improve cardiovascular function and immunity and protect blood pressure from rising. Social connection has been tied to a release of oxytocin, a hormone that reduces anxiety and improves focus and concentration. It’s all good stuff. But even better is getting a best friend. Having a really close friend helps everyone get through those tough, stressful times. So, if you are going to text in class or at work, you should text your best friend. ☞ Unpack the Negative Thinking. It can sometimes take work to stop engaging in negative self-talk. One thing you might try to do involves unpacking your thoughts. So, perhaps one box says, “I’m going to fail school.” Inside of that box is one labeled “I’m horrible at math.” Inside that one, “I don’t understand calculus.” And then finally, “I need to find someone who can help me with calculus.” The exercise demonstrates that most of our big, looming thoughts can be broken down into manageable bites that, with some action, don’t always have to weigh so heavily on us. Sometimes feeling down serves a good purpose. It can help us realign ourselves with our values, commit to a healthier lifestyle, encourage us to define our feelings, inspire us to reach out for help, and sometimes propel us into action. Although it seems as though we are permanently secured in that “blah” place forever, the way out is there. LOOKING AHEAD © 2013 Saint Meinrad Archabbey, St. Meinrad, IN 47577. Published by Abbey Press. Visit our website at: www.carenotes.com. Call us toll-free: 1-800-325-2511. Photocopying prohibited. Written by Therese Borchard Designed by Mary E. Bolin. 22088