Download Report

Crucial Conversations
based on the book by:
By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny,
Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Geraldine Roberts-Moore
Wendy Zdeb
Rochester Community Schools
Crucial Conversations
 What
makes a conversation “crucial” vs.
typical?



First, opinions vary
Second, the stakes are high
Third, emotions run strong
Crucial Conversations
 How
do we typically handle crucial
conversations:



We can avoid them
We can face them and handle them poorly
We can face them and handle them well
Crucial Conversations
 Why
don’t crucial conversations tend to go
well?





Emotions tend to rule
Your body physically reacts
We are under pressure
We are stumped
We act in self defeating ways
Crucial Conversations
 “Common”






Crucial Conversations
Ending a relationship
Asking a friend to repay a loan
Giving the boss feedback about her behavior
Critiquing a colleague’s work
Talking to a team member who isn’t keeping
commitments
Talking to a colleague who is hoarding
information or resources
Crucial Conversations
 Why
it is important to master crucial
conversation skills:





Kick Start Your Career
Improve Your Organization
Improve Your Relationships
Revitalize Your Community
Improve Your Personal Health
Crucial Conversations
 There


are 8 Principles and Skills
See your chart in the handouts
Review the Law of Crucial Conversations
graphic
Get Unstuck
 Spot
the conversations that are keeping
you stuck
 Hold
CPR
the right crucial conversation with
Get Unstuck
Partner Discussion:
 What conversations am I not holding or
not holding well?

Share an example of a conversation which is
long overdue.
 Am
I holding the right crucial
conversations?
Start with Heart
 Work
on me first
 Focus
on what you really want
 Refuse
the Sucker’s Choice
Start with Heart
Activity: Watch Video Clip, “The Apology”
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
 What
do I really want?
 Am I behaving in ways that move me
toward what I want?
 Am I making Sucker’s Choices?
Learn to Look
 Look
for when a conversation becomes
crucial
Look for silence and violence
Learn to look for your own Style Under
Stress
 Activity: Watch video clips/ label
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
Learn to Look
 Am
 Am
I noticing signs that safety is at risk?
I moving to my Style Under Pressure?
Activity: Take a few minutes to complete the
survey independently.
- The survey can be submitted/scored
on the VitalSmarts website.
Make It Safe
 Apologize
 Contrast
 Create
when appropriate
to fix misunderstandings
Mutual Purpose
Make It Safe
 Have
I established Mutual Purpose?
 Have I maintained respect?
 Activity:
Watch video clip. Share an
example of how we can “make it safe” for
our staff members.
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
Master My Stories
 Separate
 Watch

facts from stories
for three clever stories
Victim, Villain and Helpless
 Tell
the rest of the story
Master My Stories

Am I pretending not to notice my role in the
problem?
 Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent
person do this?
 What should I do right now to move toward what
I really want?
Activity: Watch video clip, how could this same
example be applied to a school setting?
https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx
STATE My Path
 STATE:





Share your facts
Tell your story
Ask for others’ paths (what)
Talk tentatively
Encourage testing (how)
STATE My Path
 Am
 Am
I really open to others’ views?
I confidently expressing my own
views?
Explore Others’ Paths
 Explore




with added AMPPs:
Ask
Mirror
Paraphrase
Prime
Explore Others’ Paths
 Am
I actively exploring others’ views?
Move to Action
 Decide
how to decide
 Document
follow-up
who does what by when and
Move to Action
 What
is the plan from here?