1. family and parenting
2. children

THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015
CUHS BOYS VARSITY BASEBALL team
plays San Joaquin Memorial on Tuesday,
March 31st at 7pm PRIMETIME at CLOVIS
WEST. Come out & support our team!
SPRING FESTIVAL COMMITTEE now
accepting parade entries for the 69th Anniversary Armed Forces Day Parade on
Saturday, May 16th. Deadline for entries
is April 30. Info: Rita Cornaggia 665–
2083 or Parade Committee 665-4501.
Parade Applications at chowchillafair.org
CHOWCHILLA FAIR HORSE
SHOW
SATURDAY, MARCH 28
Chowchilla Fairgrounds
www.chowchillafair.org
9th Annual
K-9 BENEFIT
DINNER
Saturday, March 28
Eastman Hall
Chowchilla Fairgrounds
DINNER—LIVE & SILENT AUCTION
Social Hour 5:30pm, Dinner 6:30pm.
Tickets $25 per person. Sponsored by
Chowchilla Lioness Lions Club.
Chowchilla Police Report for 3/15/15 thru 3/21/15 is on
our website: www.thechatterchowchilla.com
FAMILY FUN DAY,
Saturday, March 28, from 3PM-6PM,
Cornerstone Community Church,
208 Fig Tree Road. Join us for an
exciting time: Bounce houses, petting zoo, food, police cars, classic
cars, face painting, fun games, LIVE
music from Change of Heart. Info:
call 665-1182 or
www.ccchowchilla.com
VALLEY HARVEST
COMMUNITY LUNCH
Free lunch for the Chowchilla community on the third Thursday of
each month. Doors open at 11:30am
and lunch is served at 12 noon.
TUNE IN & TUNE UP
Saturday, March 28
Chowchilla Fairgrounds
25184 Rd 16
Emissions Testing from 9am - 3pm
No Event entry before 6:30 am.
Please observe posted parking regulations. The first 525 vehicles that don't
pass this free emissions test and are
found to be repairable, will receive a
$500 Voucher for repairs at a participating STAR smog shop.
For event information
email [email protected] or
call 1-800-806-2004
CHOWCHILLA POLICE DEPARTMENT
HOSTS A “TOWN HALL MEETING”
Wednesday, April 22
City Council Chambers
130 S. 2nd Street
Do you have questions, or concerns about our community and would like to
discuss them?
Please meet Interim Chief of Police Dave Riviere
SENIOR BUS TRIP
TO BACK OAK CASINO
Saturday, April 4
Cost $20/person
(Get $20 back in food & play at Casino) Bus leaves 9AM from Chowchilla
Senior Center, 830 Robertson Blvd.
Arrivas back at center by 6PM. You will
be at the casino for 5 hours. For info:
Joyce 665-1089 (M-F 9AM-1PM)
Come join the fun! Hurry and get your
seats while still available.!
ALVIEW-DAIRYLAND
CLAY SHOOT FOR CHARITY
Saturday, April 11
Shoot starts 9AM. Adults $100. Juniors
(10yr-17yrs) $40. For tickets or information, contact Linda Cederlof at
(559)681-2033. Tickets also available
at Alview – Dairyland school office.
3rd Annual ‘KICK UP YOUR BOOTS”
&
“SUPPORT YOUR ROOTS”
FAIR FUNDRAISER DINNER
Saturday, April 11
Eastman Hall-Chowchilla Fairgrounds
Tickets $25. Reserved table of 8 $200. Evening events include a New
York Steak Dinner, full bar, live music,
dancing, dessert, live and silent auctions. Reserve your seat now!
For info and tickets, call the
Fair Office 665-3728.
WIDOWS/WIDOWERS
LUNCHEON
FRIDAY, MARCH 27—NOON
Masonic Hall, 224 Ventura Blvd
Luncheon $10
RSVP Nina 665-2623 or
Bonnie 665-4002 to attend.
ALL widows & widowers invited!
RESERVATIONS REQUIRED!
Proceeds to Am. Legion Post #148
There were 11 people hanging onto a
rope suspended from a helicopter. Ten
men and one woman. The rope was
starting to fray from the weight, so
they all agreed that one person should
let go because if they didn’t, the rope
would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go,
so finally the woman gave a touching
speech, saying that she would give up
her life to save theirs because women
were used to giving up things for their
husbands and children.
Sacrificing
themselves for their men, and after
all, men were the superior sex and
must be saved. When she finished
speaking, all the men clapped. Never
underestimate the power of a woman!
We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN
BOTTLE: 'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN'!!!!!
I named my dog “5 Miles” so I can tell
people I walk 5 miles a day.
TOTALLY USELESS INFO When fruit
flies are infected with a parasite, they
self-medicate with booze—they seek
out food with higher alcohol content.
You can’t hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life.
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her
cell phone to report her car has been
broken into. She’s hysterical as she
talks to the dispatcher: “They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the
brake pedal and even the accelerator!”
The dispatcher said, ”Stay calm. An officer is on the way.” A few minutes later, the officer radios in. “Disregard,
she got in the backseat by mistake.”
TUE–SUN 9-4
You know why it’s hard
to be happy? It’s because we refuse to let go of the things
that make us sad.
Just before the Nazis invaded Paris,
H.A. and Margret Rey fled on bicycles.
They were carrying the manuscript for
He stormed into the kitchen and walked
directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger
in her face, he said sternly, “From now
on”, you need to know that I AM the
MAN of this house, and my word is law!
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my
meal, you will serve me a sumptuous
dessert afterward. Then, after dinner,
you are going to draw me a bath so I
can relax. You will wash my back and
towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then you will massage my feet and
hands. Then after that’s done, guess
who’s going to dress me and comb my
hair? His wife replied… “The funeral
director would be my guess”
“Great Truths Kids Have Learned”
1. No matter how hard you try, you
can’t baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your
dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her
back. They always catch the second
person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother
to hold a tomato.
Pioneers were a hardy lot. It’s amazing
how any of them survived. Here’s some
“cures:” For chicken pox, remove
clothes and run around chicken coop 3
times.
For Baldness, smear the head with fresh
cow manure to “fertilize” the growth of
new hair.
For toothache, spit into a frog’s mouth
and ask it to leave with the toothache.
Sore Throat: Tie 9 knots in a piece of
black thread, soak the thread in turpentine, and wear around your neck.
For pinkeye: Catch and kill a chicken
snake. Fry it until some grease collects
in pan. Rub grease on sore eye.
An exasperated mother, who son was
always getting into mischief, finally
asked him, “ How do you expect to get
into heaven?” The boy thought about it
over and said, “ Well, I’ll run in and out
and in and out and keep slamming the
door until St. Peter says, “ For
heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay
out!”
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FRIDAY, MARCH 27: WIDOW & WIDOWERS LUNCHEON, Noon, Masonic
Hall, 224 Ventura. $10. RSVP Nina 665-2623 or Bonnie 665-4002
Widows /widowers invited! RESERVATIONS REQUIRED!
SATURDAY, MARCH 28: CHOWCHILLA’S EGG-stra BIG EASTER EGG SCRAMBLE, 10AM-12 NOON, Edward Ray Park 15th St & Sonoma. Candy
eggs, Photos, Bouncers, & MORE!!!
CHOWCHILLA FAIR HORSESHOW, Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
www.chowchillafair.org
FAMILY FUN DAY, 3PM-6PM, Cornerstone Community Church,
208 Fig Tree Road.
TUNE IN & TUNE UP, Chowchilla Fairgrounds. 25184 Rd 16.
Emissions Tes8ng from 9:00am - 3:00pm
9th Annual K-9 BENEFIT DINNER, Eastman Hall-Chowchilla Fairgrounds. DINNER—LIVE & SILENT AUCTION. Social Hour 5:30pm,
Dinner 6:30pm. Tickets $25 per person.
SUNDAY, MARCH 29: PICKERS AUCTION, Chowchilla Fairgrounds. Starts
9AM. www.pickers-auc8on.com or call Buster (209)500-8801
SATURDAY, APRIL 4: SENIOR BUS TRIP TO BACK OAK CASINO, Cost $20/
person (Get $20 back in food & play at Casino) Bus leaves 9AM
from Chowchilla Senior Center, 830 Robertson Blvd. Arrives back
at center by 6PM. You will be at the casino for 5 hours. For info
call Joyce 665-1089 (M-F 9AM-1PM).Come join the fun! Hurry
and get your seats while still available!
SUNDAY, APRIL 5: HAPPY EASTER!
SATURDAY, APRIL 11: ALVIEW-DAIRYLAND CLAY SHOOT FOR CHARITY,
Shoot starts 9AM. Adults $100. Juniors (10yr-17yrs) $40. For
8ckets or informa8on, contact Linda Cederlof at (559)681-2033.
Tickets also available at Alview – Dairyland school office.
3rd Annual ‘KICK UP YOUR BOOTS” & “SUPPORT YOUR ROOTS”
FAIR FUNDRAISER DINNER, Eastman Hall. Chowchilla Fairgrounds. Tickets $25. Reserved table of 8 - $200. Evening events
include a New York Steak Dinner, full bar, live music, dancing,
dessert, live and silent auc8ons. Reserve your seat now! For info
and 8ckets, call the Fair Office 665-3728.