Leading and Teaching Through Listening

What is Real Listening?
Listening/Counseling Components
Related Concepts and Tasks
1. LISTEN
Listening as a process
2. ENCOURAGE THE STUDENT TO TALK
Taking an accepting stance,
withholding judgment and advice
3. FIND THE FEELING
Feelings are the facts
4. CLARIFY
Paraphrasing and clarifying what
you hear
5. PROVIDE SUPPORT
6. SCHEDULE CONVERSATIONS AS NEEDED
Joining with the student in looking
at their experience
Take your time, adjust to reality of
counseling on the run
7. DON’T TRY TO FIX IT
8. KEEP YOURSELF SEPARATE
Being connected yet separate
9. KNOW YOURSELF AND BE YOURSELF
Understanding your limits, your
strengths and challenges
10. MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY
Difference between
confidentiality and secrecy
11. APPROACH FROM POSITION OF COMPASSIONATE CURIOSITY
What is needed for adults to “counsel” students in your school?
* Support for teachers/advisors to switch to counseling when needed.
* Skill development so that adults can really listen in those moments
* An ongoing connection with the school counseling program
* A school climate of mutual respect and trust among adults
* Respect for students and their need for confidentiality
* Commitment to a different type of connection with students
* Resources for consultation and referral
Stanley H. King Counseling Institute
www.shkingcounseling.org